xxvii λ felines

[assassino]

[Dictated. He sounds tense.]

Two days ago, a caravan went exploring in the woods and came across a well. There was an ugly cat in it, and I should have shot the damn thing before it escaped.

And yet now we have people suffering unspeakable deformities at the hands of a demon cat.

I am a banker, not a damn exorcist. What do people intend to do about this?




[ooc: threadjack each other like mad, all-purpose "what do?" discussion post.

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Comments

[squartatore]

Find the cat. Make sure the body parts it took are safe. Get them reattached somehow. [that thing better not have tried eating her leg. SO MANY HORRIBLE FISH-RELATED REFERENCES SHALL GO UNMADE TODAY]

And finally, prevent any more repeats of what happened.

[assassino]

[She sounds young. Poor kid :( He's not quite sure how to respond, right off the bat, though... demons (or what he sees as demons) are not exactly his area of knowledge, and from what he understands, limbs cannot get reattached... but perhaps future science could do that.

He's just not sure.]

Of course, bambina. I am sure there is something that could be done to stop this beast and retrieve the stolen limbs.

[squartatore]

[there are doctors...hopefully, one of them knows a way. She couldn't rock the peg leg look if she tried]

I guess the first step is to find out what we can about it.

[assassino]

[Being a pirate is Kyoko's schtick, baby.]

How? One cannot exactly knock on the door of its family and demand answers.

[squartatore]

If that thing has family, they'd disown it. [we do not need an infestation of limb-snatching cats, kthx]

I didn't get a good look. The others attacked may have spotted something noteworthy.

Dictated;

[save_the_souls]

[yo hi local exorcist pinged. He's been in the clinic probably helping out the poor sods with missing parts, so having an explanation that's not OH GOD MY BODY PARTS is nice]

This may sound odd, but are you sure it's a demonic cat?

[assassino]

Maybe that is why it was in a well.

[He gives a "hmm" of agreement.]

Perhaps they can tell us more.

Dictated;

[assassino]

As I said, I am a banker. Until a few months ago I thought cotton grew on sheep grown from the ground. You cannot trust my judgment on whether it is a demon or not.

[gottaknockhard]

[... Two things he hates. Demons and cats. He was wondering what the screaming was about. That should have been on his list.]

It's in the castle?

Dictated; 1/2

[save_the_souls]

[.....]

Sheep grown from the-

[squartatore]

Probably. I'm of no help like this. [JUST GONNA KEEP TRYING TO REGROW THE LEG TO NO AVAIL.]

Dictated;

[save_the_souls]

[a frustrated noise]

Never mind that. If it is demonic, I can help find it.

Dictated;

[assassino]

[Shut up, Allen, Ezio is so much cooler than you're thinking.]

Go on then, maestro.

Dictated;

[save_the_souls]

[Whatever you say mr sheep planting banker; but there's footsteps as he's on his way to the lobby since that's a good place to start]

It will take time, there's a lot of demonic residents and unless it steals souls with body parts - it's hard to tell them apart with my eye alone.

Can you try to find out the locations of all the attacks? If there's a pattern, that'll make it easier.

Dictated;

[assassino]

[Ezio is tempted to just repeat "I AM A BANKER" over and over again because wow who actually wants to do that.]

My time costs money, you know.

Dictated forever

[onlyanapple]

At the risk of creating the Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly parable, why not just send a demonic dog in after it?

Dictated forever

[assassino]

You should be the Dog of Eden, then, Crowley!

[assassino]

Given that a number of its victims are... [SHRUG]

Dictated;

[save_the_souls]

[Allen stops out of surprise because holy crap no one has ever asked that before in Paradisa during a crisis]

What? You're asking for money?

Dictated;

[assassino]

Do people in your time work for free?

[gottaknockhard]

[How did he guess? He's considering his options... It could be more fun than the last thing he hunted down.]

Might be a good time for everyone to find a hotel.

Dictated;

[save_the_souls]

When it comes to Exorcism, yes.

[assassino]

I am sure there are others who can stop this creature. I am sure no one would expect a child to do something about it.

Dictated;

[assassino]

Good thing you volunteered, then.

[squartatore]

Child or not, [mimicking the tone Ezio used earlier] I can't exactly run after it like some loanshark and force it to cough up limbs.