1/018: Hallowheatley is another bad word pun that may be unoriginal.

[wheatdos]

No. I don't think that's even considered a pun.



Hank:
[Cue a friendly dictated voice from the familiar British bloke through the journal. Remember him? It's been quite a while, but he was the one asking you for advice to kill GLaDOS once upon a time...

He may have taken back on that.
Alot.]

Oh! Hello!... Um... Wheatley here!
Remember me? Hope you do... be-because I um... I-
I could really use your help right now, mate.
A bit of a proposition! If... If I can call it that.


Mistress:

[There's a familiar stuttering on the journal... a voice perhaps a bit too friendly, and he's talking right to you.]

Um! Hello!... L-love... I, uh...
Do you remember me?
Co-course you do...

[He mutters that last part to himself...]

I was wondering... if you could um, help me... with something.
Something, a bit... a bit important. Depends on your priorities and all that, but...
Important to me, for one.

You wouldn't happen to be... busy, would you?

Comments

Wheatley

[cheerupemoborg]

[Mr. Stutters returns!]

Of course I remember. Now, what is it I can do for you?

Hank

[wheatdos]

IIIII was wondering actually if you could...
Build me something.

If you've the time, that is...

Wheatley

[cheerupemoborg]

Of course I have time. What did you want?

Hank

[wheatdos]

I need... an arm.
And a... leg.

A man's arm... and a woman's leg, to be specific.

Wheatley

[cheerupemoborg]

This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain limb stealing feline, would it?

[wheatdos]

I um.... yes.
That...a-a...and a few terrible promises I made to go along, with that...

[cheerupemoborg]

Do tell.

[wheatdos]

I... It's a rather long story... rather not get into it, no.

I just...I need the limbs, alright...?
But... if-if you do this for me, it'd be great...
You name it and I'll repay you.

[cheerupemoborg]

Tempting.

[Huh, he sounds extra nervous today.]

...okay, sure. In exchange, I'm going to need a favor from you.

[wheatdos]

Y-yes.... yes. Definitely. Deal. You've got yourself a deal.

[He sounds more relieved than anything.]

Name it, mate.

[cheerupemoborg]

Join me.

[He writes down a page number.]

I could use more scientists and engineers.

[wheatdos]

[Cue a pause as he skimmed through the page...]

You're making... a response force?

[He chuckles.]

You uh, never struck me as that kind... you know.
But sure-yes. Definitely. I... I am joining this. Most definitely.
Count me in.

[cheerupemoborg]

I've started to feel very altruistic as of late. All this time in Paradisa must've tempered my mood!

Now, I'll need more information about the people receiving these new limbs. Height, build, etc.

You wouldn't happen to have any pictures on hand, would you?

[wheatdos]

I um... I do.
Ju-just a moment...

[Give him a moment and he'd give him two pictures indeed... unsure what to do, so he just pressed them into the journal. Seemed to work.

One of [Phoenix Wright] and Wheatley standing around in a carnival...

And another one with him carrying [GLaDOS] on his back at a beach, the two of them grinning and laughing. Careful now. A picture of her looking that smiley is something she would NOT be happy about him giving out. Disregard the fact he was supposed to kill her.]

It's for those two, mate.
I-I can get you more information if you need it though!

[cheerupemoborg]

You and... GLaDOS? Never thought she'd be compatible with anyone! She still have headaches?

[This gets better and better.]

Yes, more information would be nice. Exact measurements would be ideal, but I'll see what I can do based of off just this.

[wheatdos]

Thank you mate. I really appreciate this.

[He sounds distant now. A bit dramatic... too... like in those strange flashbacks in movies...]

She's a really beautiful bird... on-once you get to know her.
A bit rough, but no-none the less mesmerizing. In her strange way.

[No Hank, STOP.]

And... unfortunately.
But, good news! Seem to be getting better.
Always good news there...

[cheerupemoborg]

No trouble at all. Shall I cover them with synthetic skin?

I know she's meant to be a machine, normally, but what's your relation to her?

[wheatdos]

Please do.
It'd be great!

[And he smiled a little, voice getting the slightest bit reminiscent.]

AI! We're AI.
If you call her a simple machine she'd be sure to get upset, you know.

...Now or before this castle mussed us up and made us humans?

[cheerupemoborg]

Both.

[wheatdos]

[You initiated the talkbot to talk about his past...]

Well... before, she um.
Didn't like me much. Took over her facility. Mayyyy have roughed it up a bit... but, anyone's mistake. It's so bloody hard to manage.
Um... got carried away and tried to kill her... that too, that too. Didn't work, if that's what you're wonderin'.

She must've been mad. Course she was.

She threw me into space where I ended up floating in for the rest of eternity. Like a hunk of space junk. Terrible... terrible sentence... It's um, lonely... for one. Terribly lonely. Till I die... of course, but um, been up there for a good hundred years or so... can't be long now.

[Right. He has that to look forward to whenever this castle chooses to send him back. He doesn't really believe in a chance of him getting back beforehand.]

That's what I get for being the bad guy, I suppose.

[He sighs, trying to sound enthusiastic again, but somehow the stuttering enthusiast remains the slightest bit injured...]

Now... I um...
I think, I think she... I think she loves me.
Human love, fascinating thing... actually... can stem from anywhere.

[themistress]

I've always got time for favors.

[wheatdos]

Gr-great!

[Seemed to go over his head...]

What... what it is... is actually, a bit of advice, I'd say. Knowing you're um... skilled in the acts of mating, and-and such... affairs like that...

[He clears his throat...]

[themistress]

[She pauses, confused by what he wants.] And?

[wheatdos]

...

How can i convince someone...
To mate with me...
In public.

...

[cheerupemoborg]

A fate worse than death. I can relate.

It sounds like you two have adapted to your new forms well enough.