Journal the First

[theabjectauthor]

[the lobby door creaks open a few inches, just enough for a man in a fedora to poke his head in carefully. his eyes widen, and he ducks back out and shuts the door. from without, there's a muffled yet still pretty pronounced shout:]

O, LORD.

[with that, the door opens again, all the way, this time, and he shuffles in, shutting it quickly behind him and clutching a worn leather messenger bag to his chest as though his very life depended on it. his pinstripe suit is slightly rumpled and spotted here and there with ash, and there's a thick scarf wound around his neck. he moves carefully away from the door, eyes wide as he takes in his surroundings]

... I certainly think I'd remember this being on the map.

[and with that, he sits down on one of the lobby couches and starts going through his bag - getting more and more distraught the longer he rummages. clearly, whatever he's looking for isn't there...]

Comments

[persequor]

I don't know. Mayhaps you can ask the people who've died here if they were ever ghosts.

[theabjectauthor]

That seems a very personal question to be asked by a complete stranger. ... Speaking of which. [ghost is not eating his soul, he's ... okay for now. time to remember his manners] I apologize for not introducing myself. My name is Lemony Snicket.

[persequor]

Arya Stark. This is Nymeria. She's not a wolf, she's a direwolf. They're much bigger and stronger and smarter than wolves. She's not full-grown yet, but she can still rip your arm off if you try to pet her.

[ Never mind that Nymeria lets Arya pet her all she wants. Arya is ~special~. ]

[theabjectauthor]

It's a pleasure to meet you, then, Arya Stark and Nymeria. ... Rest assured, I will not pet her if she does not wish to be petted. ... I should think if someone I did not want to pet me tried to, I would not react favorably, either.

[persequor]

You're the only one not stupid so far.

[theabjectauthor]

Thank you. I try to apply as much common sense as possible to any given situation. One can have all the book knowledge they can stand to hold, and still do terribly inept things with it, if they have an underabundance of common sense. ... But I digress, a phrase which here means "I am going off topic and possibly being too verbose". Please, tell me more about this place?

[persequor]

[ Head...tilt. ]

Well, you've a room here. It will have your name on it. You can wish for things and everyone else does it even if it's a bad idea. There are a lot of weird rooms and there's a city just outside and if you can use magic, when you out to the Dead Zone, you can't use it at all.

[theabjectauthor]

Wishing is generally a bad idea, yes ... Either nothing comes of it and you are terribly disappointed, or something does, but it isn't what you want. I once wished for a root beer float to calm my nerves, and the trip to the drug store ended with me up to my ankles in alligators.

[persequor]

You wished for wha--how did that happen?

[theabjectauthor]

Well, the soda jerk turned out to be one of my enemies, in disguise, and to keep me from finding the secret parcel I later learned was hidden in the glass jar of peppermints, he opened up the ice cream refrigerator and let the pair of trained alligators out. I barely escaped with my life.... [he looks a little breathless just thinking about it]

In the end, I had to fight them off with a rolled up copy of the Daily Punctilio and a handful of rubber bands.

[persequor]

[ ..........so many more questions. so many. But for now-- ]

What are rubber bands?

[theabjectauthor]

Rubber bands? Small elastic devices used for a number of practical things, such as holding things together, powering small motors, and snapping people or alligators with. Here....

[he locates a green one in the depths of his bag and holds it out to her]

[persequor]

[ She takes it, canting her head. Unaware of its more painful application, she pulls it. It snaps against her hand. ]

Ow!

[theabjectauthor]

Oh! I'm sorry, Arya! [fretting now, but keeping his distance so he doesn't set Nymeria off] ... It won't hurt for too long. I promise you. ... Though that's why they were useful on the alligators: they didn't expect it, and it made a suitable distraction.

[persequor]

These little things?

[theabjectauthor]

Even small things can have large effects, if applied properly.

[persequor]

Where did you hit them? The eye?

[theabjectauthor]

One of them, yes. I believe the other was struck in the nostril.

[persequor]

How did you avoid being bitten to get that close?

[theabjectauthor]

Oh, you don't have to be too terribly close if you fling them properly. There's a decided technique to it.

[persequor]

Can you show me?

[theabjectauthor]

Well, certainly. The more one can learn, the better, I think. ... We'll need a few more, though, in case this one breaks.

[persequor]

You can just wish for them.

[theabjectauthor]

I suppose all the beggars here ride, then?

[persequor]

I'm sorry?