paradisa | The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

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a.j.crowley

The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

[The journal picks up the sound of Crowley irritably rifling through the fridge in the kitchen, looking for something. When, finally, he realises what he's looking for Isn't There, he turns and leans on the table, sending a death glare at the journal on the surface before him]

Okay, which of you tosspots made a bargain with Satan and ate my cake? Not even another demon would sink that low.

Not even the worst of us, you know, the ones who make little old ladies break their hips or the ones who make birds fly into jet engines. Not even those ones would steal a dessert from another demon.

I am not amused. I was saving it for something.

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That must have been really important cake. Is whoever did it gonna be in trouble?

[ :(!! ]

Do you want me to bake you a cake?

Yes, to both of your questions.

Who're you?

It's more the principle of the cake than anything...

...I don't know. Maybe.

I'm Rin Kagamine!

[A second, quieter voice pipes up]
She heard the word "cake" and was interested.

Two of you, right. Well, the cake is gone. There is no cake to be had here.

What was the cake for?

I don't want any cake. It's not very healthy to eat that kind of thing.

I just feel sad for you. You lost your important cake. That isn't very fair!

[There is the sound of snickering from the journal.]

We are not amused, are we?

Well, other residents are tossers. They take things without asking.

[Oh why why did you have to ask that Uru]

...A... celebration?

No. Did you take it, you little snot?

Would Satan make a deal for that cake?

What's a "tosser"?

Wow, that cake must really have been something if you're this upset over it.

Maybe you should have written your name on it.

[That's not very nice, Crowley.]

Now why would I take your cake when I could wish up a better one all for myself?

A birthday?!

Someone clearly wants your wrath.

You're right, that is damned low.

Probably could have found a better place to keep it.

That's probably because a demon didn't do it.

[ And neither did she, even if the way she said it sounds like it ]

Wasn't so special.

...Before you get any ideas... I had nothing to do with it, alright?

I think you're too young to know that.

No. Not a birthday.

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