25

[takethat]

[It's five days until Hanukkah begins, this castle needs some decorations, and Phoenix is more than happy to oblige.

Against his better judgment (being that he broke his leg the last time), he's perched atop a ladder in the lobby, hanging big paper Stars of David, blue and white tinsel, and some truly tacky large plastic dreidel-shaped lights that seem to be blinking erratically, all semblance of rhythm gone.

He hasn't paid much mind to the castle's contribution to his decorating: a blue-clad nutcracker perched on a side table nearby. What a shame.

Instead, he just goes on whistling and hanging things from the walls, blissfully oblivious.]

((ooc: open for kissing from anyone!))

Comments

[wheatdos]

I don't know!!! Let-let go of me though! Let go! B-because you're doing that thing that only she's supposed to do and I'll have you know I'm only comfortable with her doing it!

[But despite the shouting, he seemed to forget about GLaDOS as quickly as he thought about her and moved in to kiss him again.]

...Mgnn!

[takethat]

[Again, it's a few brief seconds of "okay" before Phoenix leans back and shoves the crap out of Wheatley.]

No!! What the hell is this?!

[wheatdos]

[He stumbled backwards clumsily into the table, knocking the nutcracker over and breaking it. It'll be back, but for now, they're okay.]

Blehgh! Ahh!!! Ugh! Gross!

[Sorry! He's not going to be discreet about this, spitting everywhere.]

D-did you just... kiss me!!?!?

[takethat]

Yes!! ...after which you kissed me!

[He gives a loud, overly-dramatic gasp.]

What will Miles think?!?

[wheatdos]

Nononono! I didn't kiss you! You-you didn't let go!

[He's a bit surprised when he mentions Miles.]

What?!?! Who cares about that mate!!?!
She's going to KILL me. I bet-I bet you don't have to worry about living with a recovering psychopath!

[He loves her, really. But she's still a recovering psychopath. Wheatley flails, shuddering.]

Now everything-- now everything is weird. I-I think I'm just... I think I'm gonna go...--

[He rushes off down the hall. Don't let him leave on bad terms... he'll avoid you forever if you do.]

[takethat]

Hey! Wait!

[Those Hanukkah decorations long forgotten, he darts off after Wheatley.]

I... I... I have to live with a recovering trauma victim!

[Never mind that a.) Miles would probably kill him if he heard himself referred to that way, b.) they don't live together, and c.) that's hardly the same thing as a psychopath.

But anyway.

He keeps chasing after Wheatley and isn't planning to stop any time soon.]

[wheatdos]

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nopee!

[NOT. SLOWING. DOWN.
He has a long stride, but he gets tired easily, eventually slowing down, out of breath.]

Wha-what are you-- what are you doing? Why are you following me? What did I do? I-- I didn't do anything!

[Nick has probably never seen Wheatley look that embarrassed before...]

[takethat]

Listen!!

[Good thing Wheatley stopped when he did, because Phoenix was just a few steps away from springing onto his back.

He leans against the wall, trying to catch his own breath.]

Listen to me! Wheatley! I think--it's probably the castle! It did this last year!

[wheatdos]

W-what?

[He takes a sidestep away, confused.]

[takethat]

Last year, I kissed Maya like this! And... Geoff! R-remember Geoff? We kissed, too, because the castle made us!

[wheatdos]

You kissed Maya?

[He squints a little.]

But...

...

You're... old...

[takethat]

....I'm twenty-six!

...and it was just because the castle made me!

[wheatdos]

The... castle made you old?
It can do that????
Huh. Didn't know it could even do that. Didn't know that.

[takethat]

NO, Wheatley... the castle made me kiss Maya last year.

[wheatdos]

Oh...

...oh.

Ehe...aha. That must have been strange for you. And her. Both-both of you.
Like it still is. For me. Right now.

[The distance is probably getting noticeable.]

[takethat]

From what I've heard, this happens every year.



So the best thing to do... is just... go along pretending it never did.

[wheatdos]

Hoooooow many people did you kiss before me?

[takethat]

This year? You're my first. Congratulations on taking my Paradisa holiday virginity for the year.

[wheatdos]

[He is frowning.

A lot.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT.
WHY CAN'T YOU SAY 'YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I KISSED' LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD. He knows what virginity is. He also doesn't realize this is a saying or anything.]

No I didn't. I didn't do that.
I know what mating is. I-I know what that is.
I know what that is and-and we-we didn't do that, mate.

[takethat]

Calm down! I was... it was just a joke. You know. Ha ha ha?

[And he shudders very visibly at the thought of "mating" with Wheatley. Ew gross]

[wheatdos]

[Okay calm down, Nick. Wheatley is pretty cute.
Stop trying to imagine it, that's weird.




Frown. He's still staring at him. Now you made it awkward.]

I um... right. Eheheheheheheheheh. F-funny. Funny. Fun.

[He clears his throat awkwardly.]

Fun... funny.

...

...

...

...

...

She's going to kill me.

[takethat]

...who, GLaDOS? She doesn't have to know!!

[He waves his hands around wildly.]

And neither does Miles!!

[wheatdos]

Well of course she has to know!
I can't just... not tell her things!
She-she has a way of looking at me. And-- and...

And... I kind of just... tell her things.
That's... what she does.
I think she programmed me while... while I was sleeping.

[takethat]

[He quirks an eyebrow at that.]

Come on. Every relationship has a healthy amount of secrets.

[wheatdos]

Well...
I mean... m-maybe.
I might have a few...

[HE'S FULL OF SHIT. HE HAS A MILLION SECRETS FROM HER.]