xxx λ thinking

[assemblatore]

[There's that familiar-yet-unfamiliar Italian accent, deeper than usual:]

My time here has been short, and yet in that time I have seen things unfathomable to the people of my time... things that I find relieving, and things that I find deeply troubling. Men are not made to weather such changes in such a brief time, but I have enjoyed it for what it is, and will continue to do so.

Interesting, too, to get a better understanding of history, and the legacies that have been left by the most influential people of my time. Strange that some I thought would would be spoken of for centuries barely register with the people of the future, and others have risen out of nowhere.

[sigh]

I wonder what those men would have done differently, had they only possessed the gift of foresight. But at the same time, who can say history might have happened any differently, given man's inherent weakness, his proclivity towards selfishness and opportunity, even at the cost of another's? I should like to think it is different in the future, where good will towards men is readily taught, but in my time, who can blame a man for stepping on others to avoid starvation if none have taught him a greater morality and code of ethics? Even if he had received instruction, could a virtuous constitution prevent a man from becoming tyrants? I do not feel it is possible.

I would also like to believe that suffering is always worth someth––

[A pause to having a considerable coughing fit, though one muffled by his sleeve.]

Ah... What was I saying? It matters little. I am sure I have worn this topic thin over the years, and I am weary of it.

[A pause.]

It is unfortunate that my memories of this place are clouded by age. I would have liked to better remember what it was like to be a young man in this place.

Comments

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia tries really hard to remember if that year is before the younger Ezio arrived in the castle, and can't. She can't be sure. ]

You kept this from me. Why?

[assemblatore]

I thought you knew.

[secondchances]

Sounds like young you wasn't too fond of it, if he didn't mention it either.

[Please. Just--go with it, Ezio. Before Stephanie just picks up Lucrezia and runs away.]

[heloise]

[ So maybe Cesare was right to dislike him, or maybe he had always known. She bites the inside of her cheek, and reaches for Steph's hand. ]

[assemblatore]

[Wait. He clues in late -- was the younger version of him pretending he had NO business with the Borgia?

What the fuck?]

Lucrezia, did you not know I had business with your family?

[secondchances]

[Stephanie takes Lucrezia's hand. Fuck, she wishes she had gone over this with Ezio before, but she didn't expect to encounter Lucrezia, and she certainly didn't expect this to be the topic of discussion.

She'll just see how this trainwreck unravels.]

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia holds on tight. She feels betrayed but isn't sure by whom exactly or how. Cesare hides everything bad and maybe Ezio did too. ]

You said you had business with the Medici. They hold the Vatican's funds.

[assemblatore]

Of course I did –– Lorenzo de Medici was my patron for many years, though he released me in... 1486, I believe it was? It was all a long time ago.

[secondchances]

Yes, that sounds like ages ago. Actually, anything before 1990 sounds like ages ago to me...

[heloise]

You never told me you were against my father. [ Although that isn't hard to believe. Ezio is an Italian. ]

How old were you when you resolved the matter?

[assemblatore]

In my forties.

[secondchances]

[Pleasedon'tsayhow.]

It's cold. Can we go inside now?

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia feels so mad, but the person she should be angry at isn't here. Not exactly. Older Ezio might as well be someone else.

She grabs Steph's arm and starts heading inside. ]

[assemblatore]

[He nods, turning away from them to head into town.]

Take Lucrezia inside, Stephanie. I will be along shortly.

[secondchances]

[Stephanie hesitates for a second before letting herself be tugged along.]

I'll be at your room later.

[Still gotta take care of the Apple. And set some things straight :/

She takes her arm from Lucrezia to put it around her shoulders. So much for a peaceful day...]

[heloise]

[ Oh good.

She would rather not have Ezio see her crying angry tears while she stomps away, holding Steph's hand on her shoulder so her friend wouldn't let go. ]

[secondchances]

[Oh no, not tears. Steph quickens their pace :( ]

[heloise]

[ NOPE. Lucrezia just slows to a stop so she can drop to the snow and glower at the distance. She has no habit of wiping away her tears when she wants them seen. ]

[secondchances]

Lucrezia...

[Steph will kneel in front of her and try to wipe those tears away with her sleeve. She feels rotten.]

[heloise]

[ She flinches from the touch, as if her tears mark her privilege to be so angry about all of it. ]

If he is my father's enemy then he is also mine.

[secondchances]

[She's quick to drop her hand. Okay. How to handle this...]

Lucrezia, I have no idea what he's talking about. This might not even be the truth. He's an old man. Half the things he's been trying to tell me don't make any sense.

[heloise]

[ She shakes her head, slowly, for gravity. ]

Do not lie for him, Stephanie. That makes you his.

[secondchances]

I'm not. [His, that is.] Look, maybe he dislikes your father, but he dislikes you. It's politics. I don't understand, but it's not... personal, I guess? Like I said, I don't understand.

[Such lies.]

I've seen this happen to people here before, the getting older. Sometimes their versions of what's truth are different than what you think you know. It could be the castle, or it could be age. I don't know.

[But please stop being so angry and the tears and the faces...]

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia knits her eyebrows and bows her head. It hurts to breathe. But she opens her palm to Steph so she could have her hand. ]

Is there no one I can trust to tell me the truth?

[secondchances]

[She takes her hand and tries to pull her over to her, so she can wrap her arms around her.

For the briefest moment she thinks about spilling it all right there--tell her about Ezio's old occupation, how her father killed his family, how Ezio wanted his revenge--but she can't. She just can't. It would ruin too much, and put Ezio in a dangerous spot, once Cesare knew.]

I would if I [could] knew it, Lucrezia.