paradisa | ℒℒ 50

I am not saying that either, Lana. I am saying I do not know how to fight God.

Just because it's more powerful than us doesn't make it a god. It just means we don't know enough.

[ She's sitting, though with a bit of a defeated thump. Because she expects them to go in circles, since Ezio isn't going to magically procure an answer anymore than Lana is able to.

Whispering, though not so low to completely keep it from him, she stares hard at the floor. ]

I didn't become like this so that I could continue with the same life as before.

[He feels so woefully incompetent, so woefully out of his element. He's an Assassin, damnit, how can he fight something he cannot bleed?]

Become like what, Lana?

[ Her gaze drifts to her hands, lingering, before moving up to him. And then she cracks a smile, but nothing warm or light. It's the kind of smile you offer at irony, followed by the kind of laugh that escapes when the nerves take over.

She muffles it quickly, her hand over her mouth, not wanting to seem absurdly crazy, but what does it matter? She feels like she is. ]

Like a god!

[ Another laugh, as she slumps back in her seat, though it's interrupted by a dry sob, her eyes wide. ]

I thought I had gained everything, and I wanted to show the world. But all I did was lose everything, and accomplish nothing. Nothing is different. Nothing has changed in any world. I'm still not powerful enough.

[Concern:]

What power are you talking about?

It doesn't matter.

[He shifts to sit closer to her.]

Of course it matters, bella, if it upsets you so.

[ Even now, she's reluctant to share how she gained the powers, and how they're connected to Clark. Maybe his secret is no longer a secret in Paradisa, but it doesn't seem relevant right now, anyway. He's gone. ]

Let's just say that...in a crisis, I'm the last person you'll have to worry about. Nothing can hurt me.

That is difficult to believe from a woman near tears.

[ Stiffening, Lana's eyes widen a touch, her lips pressed firmly together as she takes a moment to make sure her voice doesn't shake when she speaks again. ]

Then I guess I'm still weak. I need to become stronger.

[He puts a hand on her back, aiming to be comforting.]

You are one of the strongest women I have ever met, Lana, and that is saying something. Your will could dominate most people's, I am sure.

[ She let's out another muffled bark of a laugh, though sheepish enough to suggest some progress. ]

Dominate? That's quite the choice word... The only person here I want to dominate is the one that's behind the sham of Paradisa. Whoever or whatever that means.

Perhaps it is a bit dramatic. [He runs his fingers along the back of her neck, gently.]

But what I mean is that if anyone has the will to defeat this place, it is yours.

[ She tilts her head, subtly shifting to lean into his touch. Even if it's just flattery, she has a hard time telling, it still feels nice to hear the words, to feel intimacy and support. Even if, in the back of her mind, something cries out 'What can you possibly do that Clark never could?!'

In fact, she knows she can do so much more. She can't limit herself the way he chose to. His strength may have been drawn from his family, but Lana has to draw hers from somewhere else. ]

Do you really think so?

Of course, dolcezza. You are the only one who has brought such concerns to me, after almost an entire year. That is something to be proud of, is it not?

[ She doesn't know. It feels like all she's done is whine, but she's grateful, regardless, since it has helped put one or two things in perspective. The rest she'll have to fight to solve.

With a sniff, glad to have at least kept her eyes dry, Lana turns just enough so that she can lean in and hug him. Head nestling just under his chin, Lana releases a shaky sigh. ]

Thank you.

[He wraps his arms around her in a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head.]

Any time, Lana.

[ It's just a phrase, but little ones like that stick to her since coming to Paradisa. 'Any time' is a fragile promise.

But it makes her happy, and she stares at the tea over there that's probably over-brewing, but who cares. ]

I had forgotten that it's supposed to have been a year since we met. It seems like it's been much longer, but maybe that's just because I was away for so long.

I certainly did not help things, in that regard.

...I don't hold that against you anymore. It's not like I have a stellar record when it comes to handling or ending relationships, either.

[ I mean of course anyone who betrays her now may get their head knocked off, but... Until then! ]

Is there ever a relationship that ends well?

[ Thinking about that while just leaning against him. ]

Is an ending ever a good thing?

I think it was a good thing for Cristina and I to part, even if it did not end well.

[ Recalling her first thoughts on hearing about his future wife, she still feels a little sad knowing it wasn't Cristina. ~~Of course, this has nothing to do with projecting her own childhood sweetheart issues!~~ ]

Why do you think so? Didn't you say it could have been a fresh start? If Lucrezia hadn't written that note, if Cristina hadn't left, then don't you think you two might still be together?

[Pause]

It could have been. I wanted it to be, perhaps. But I think she is still better off with her husband... a man who can protect her, support her, be there for her. Manfredo may not be as romantic as she would like, but he is more reliable. He is also not an Assassin, nor does he have a history of womanizing.

I think she would have always resented my work, and my past habits.

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