paradisa | 003. dictated

[Private]

[Gwendolyn has been trying to avoid speaking to anyone since being cured of the virus, lost in her own thoughts and the ramifications of what she said... In particular the things she said and thought about her dead sister.

Today she stares blankly at the open journal, knowing she can't avoid apologizing for her actions forever. But still...]

Griselda...

So, hiding are you?

[the blue font initially takes Gwendolyn by surprise, before the familiar blue bird phantom that often haunted her appeared, flapping just above the journal]

No, that's not... tis not my intention.

Don't try lying to me. You know I can see right through you.

You're upset because you feel you've disrespected your sister's memory... is that not it?

[Gwendolyn closes her eyes and inhales deeply, shoulders lightly shaking]

Not just feel... I have. Griselda may have criticized me sometimes but she was still my dear sister. To even question her that way...

But is it not only thoughts you've had before, in your lowest hours? You only dare not to think them now because she is no longer with you-

[there's only so much Gwendolyn can take, before snapping. She makes a swipe at the bird] Shut up!

[the bird flutters out of the way, then flies around Gwendolyn's shoulder and out of her eyesight. Yet yet its words still transcribe plainly in blue]

...All that considered though, you can hardly be blamed for the effects of a foreign land's virus. You know that don't you?

[but Gwendolyn, regaining her calm, merely shakes her head]

No... even if that's true, I am to be held responsible for my own actions, virus or not.

[the bird flies back around, landing on the journal pages]

Then cease delaying the inevitable. Pitiful banished princess you may be, coward you are not.

[and with that the bird fades away, leaving Gwendolyn to do just that.

She rips the page out, then starts a new one, viewable to everyone]

[/Private]

I... would like to apologize for my actions during that incident a few weeks ago. Virus or not, my actions are my own and are inexcusable.

I apologize to anyone who had to... see me like that. [airing her dirty laundry oops] It was hardly appropriate behaviour. I would also like to extend my gratitude to those who helped me while under the virus' influence.

...I had thought before that perhaps this castle may not be such an awful place to be in. Now I find myself reconsidering that notion.