paradisa | ♔ un || christmas eve

Entry tags:

!intro,
anne boleyn

♔ un || christmas eve

[ Written most elegantly; ]

My Dearest and Most Beloved Elizabeth,

I bring you the most blessed of tidings. Can you guess? I will let you take a few moments to make use of your wit and figure it out while I continue on. (Come now, surely it would be obvious to you!)

Your father, the King, is doing quite well. He is of good cheer and fine health, God bless His Majesty. He asks after you, and I promised I would send word of his love and ever present concern for you, my sweet rose.

And speaking of such, while we were in the gardens just recently, I discovered the most beautiful of roses. Though the King insisted I not touch it for the thorns it bore, I daresay I had it cut anyhow! And wouldn't you know, the thorns harmed me not. It reminded me of you, and so I had it pressed as I read of once in a book. It is my sincerest wish that you look upon it and know of my eternal love and devotion to you.

Oh, I cannot keep silent on the matter any longer! Have you guessed yet? No? Well then, I will tell you, but only because such tidings should be shared. You will soon have a little—

[ The writing is drawn to a sudden halt, interrupted by the sound of a woman's soft sigh, and then the clattering of odds and ends being dragged off the table by said woman as she slides to the frozen floor with a thump. ]

[ ooc; Any journal comments will be responded to after Anne's been awoken by Elizabeth and had the 411 dished out! ]

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[ This confuses her, and one hand slides down to rest over her belly. It's flat now, of course, but soon... ]

King of England? How do you mean? What of your brother?

[ Because nothing can convince Anne that she's not going to have a boy when she wakes up, okay? ~~Well not right when she wakes up, that sure would be magic.~~ But maybe she's starting to take this dream too literally. It doesn't have to make sense...

But she would very much like it to. ]

[Elizabeth can't help but follow that hand, before looking immediately away. She would never be that beloved child. All these years later, some part of that still hurt.

But the question is easy to brush away.]

... No Arthur is not of our time. It is the riddle of this place, we are all from different times, different places. He is the King of legend, my lady, whom I met here...

[This still wasn't making much sense either but she was being deliberately vague and she's still twisting her words, and as gentle and reassuring as any courtier she continues.]

My brother rules happily for many years.

[Just not Anne's child.]

[ For many years? And then what? Does he die? What good does it do for Elizabeth to marry a King of England here, and not actually rule in England?

No, none of this is making any sense, but the utter insanity of it actually helps Anne relax. Nothing like this could be real, especially not King bloody Arthur.

So she giggles, half nerves and half amusement as they reach the bottom steps and she turns back to this woman who is now too tall for Anne to carry. ]

So that is why you are older than I? And you have married the legendary King Arthur Pendragon? In that case, I suppose I could not be happier! It is such a shame that Henry is not here to meet him, I'm certain he would be just as delighted.

[ And maybe furious that his daughter married without his blessing but whatever. Anne would be pissed about that too if this was actually real, but it's not, so... ]

I will meet him at this feast, then. It will be the greatest banquet! With jousting in the day and dancing in the eve. Oh, I can hardly wait. What song shall I sing? I must sing something.

[WAIT --

-- No, oh no Arthur would never forgive her this. He'd never let this go if her mother said anything to him. At the worst he'd be furious for dragging her into this spun lie of hers, at best he'd just hold it over her head for all the times she'd tricked him.

Elizabeth opened to mouth to hastily correct her mother. But then she laughed, and once Elizabeth found herself unable to destroy this spun sugar fiction she'd so accidentally created.]

He would be pleased to find his daughter married off to such glory, I hope. Is that not what all father's wish for their daughters?

[... She thinks in the end, he'd be even more furious with her not producing an heir.]

Perhaps you will. Though not many joust any longer, your grace, but there are dance partners to be had, on occasion. [Her mother singing? She's not sure which one of them is dreaming anymore.] What did you used to sing to me?

[ It hasn't quite occurred to her yet to ask after an heir, but no doubt she'll think of it in time. Probably at the most inconvenient time!

Anne shoots Elizabeth a quizzical look. ]

Do you not remember? You so very much loved O Rosa Bella. You know my favorite was D'où Vient Cela, Belle, but your father insisted it was too tragic of a song for such a tiny girl.

[ Really they're both kind of tragic songs, but the most popular ones always were! She starts to hum it, a soothing, sad melody. ]

[ Only to abruptly stop and grab Elizabeth's arm, grip tight and her tone hard and suspicious. ]

How do you not remember?

[The song was familiar in that distant way songs were. She couldn't put it to a time and place at least.

Thinking on that she was expecting the way her mother suddenly turned back to her.]

... It has been a very long time, madam. I am near enough to fifty now. Much has happened, and those days are no longer as clear as they once were to me.

[It's more than she's admitted to anyone in a very long time. That she's old, she's tired, and seeing her mother's youthful face and high sweet laughter is such a reminder of her younger days at court. She could spare her mother that truth when she'd told so many lies in the past minutes.]

I am sorry you should not have me the daughter you once remembered, as sorry as I am not to remember my own mother's sweet songs that she sung to me. But... I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me for it.

[It did show, for so brief a moment, she was under all of it, even here, so bone weary, and exhausted by her life. One year of ruling seemed a whole life time, and they just seemed to go on and on and on without end or measure to days or months or seasons.]

[ Anne's grip on the other's arm loosens little by little, before eventually sliding back down to take her hand once more. Her narrowed eyes widen just a touch, and her rigid lips soften into a tease of a smile.

If this is a dream, she can't take it too seriously. None of this can actually be true, of course, this seeing into the future where she and Henry are both probably dead and her daughter bears the highest of burdens and glories. And to this Elizabeth, so much seems painful or tense. There is regret there, and Anne doesn't want an incarnation of her daughter knowing that heartache any more than she would want her real daughter to.

And if this is her mind's creation, then it is her heartache too. So with a shake of her hand, she steps closer and presses Elizabeth's hand to the center of her chest, holding it there. ]

There is nothing to feel sorrow over. No matter your age or title, I will always look upon you and see my little princess, my petite rose, and there is nothing in all of the worlds, in all of time, that could ever change such a bond.

If my sole purpose here is to remind you of that, then I will undertake such a role with utmost fervor. My love for you is such that, were your father to truly look upon it and see, even he might know envy.

[Elizabeth sighed in a slight relief when her mother became less suspicious. For a moment she tries to smile back, to give the feeling of easiness and joy her mother simply seems to exude as easy as drawing breaths, but her words weren't a lie. It had been a long time since she smiled, laughed, took joy as earnestly as others did.

It never felt so grating in its absence as now, as to look at a woman who truly thought the world was at her feet.]

I'm... [It was so hard, to have her living and breathing, saying these things. To speak of a love Elizabeth would never be sure of. It was both freeing and damning, everything was mismatched edges that did not fit.] There is, there is so much I feel sorrow for...

[She pressed her lips together, glancing down as she blinked her vision clear once more. Committing every word to memory and to etch it some where deeply that she could not forget it.] But I would suffer it again, and a thousand times gladly if it means to have this. [the words freeze on her mouth, she's never said it to another person and never dreamed of ever being able to address this woman.] I would face down every war, every parliament a hundred times again. [It might be too much, but she wants to weep, and tall as she is, she steps forward and pressed a kiss to her mother's forehead.] Mother. I've missed you.

[I've missed all that we never had, and never were.]

[ It's a heavy declaration, full of unspoken secrets and pains that leaves Anne curious, and almost fearful. She touches Elizabeth's cheek just as she leans in to kiss her forehead, and Anne's eyes slip shut at the gesture.

She has also missed her daughter, though it has only been a few weeks. What is that to forty years? Could she bear such a parting herself? No. ]

No.

[ She strokes her daughter's cheek again, seeing the little girl so easily even as she has to look up, and smiles. The smile has lost some of the glee, some of the airy mischief. Instead there is a fire that's been fanned, making her tone fierce and her eyes sharp, but not at her daughter. ]

No, you will suffer no sorrows. You will forget such things, because I would never let you feel the type of pain you speak. Truly, to hear such grief-stricken claims come out of your mouth is unfathomable to me, and I am more sure than ever now that I am here to erase such thoughts from your mind. Any foe who dares compromise your beautiful soul will quickly find his head sheared from his body, but only after he has suffered a thousand deaths before.

You will not miss me, and I will not miss you. We are together, and that is how it will ever be. None shall compromise.

[She stood there in her mother's embrace. Another thing she never thought she would have to remember clearly.

Even when as she looked at her mother, she knew it would never be so simple as Anne had said. Elizabeth was too old for that kind of optimism, time could never be undone. Her mother was young and not yet tainted by that which was to come.]

That would be my hope. [But perhaps it would be enough for her mother's brightness carry her where she was sure she could not go by herself. It was not easily done anymore. Even with the mighty freedom she bore, days no longer seemed as they were.

Though what they were was a hazy, foggy memory. Because no matter which memory, there was always that taint of her mother's death. In the way Mary was never quite as close as she could be, in the way she'd compete with Edward for her studies.

In the way that forty years later they still called her daughter of a whore.]

None, nothing shall ruin this. [but to more important matters.] Nor waking, for this is not a dream, mother. We are in a castle called Paradisa, and it is not a kind place, though it brings me the happiness of your company once more. You cannot leave until it decides you are to go.

[ Everything she says it the very nature of a dream, isn't it? You don't decide when you awaken, and what good is it to try to convince a dream what it is? As much use as it is trying to convince her that she is not dreaming.

Eager to move on from such unnecessary claims, Anne just nods and continues on, shoes clipping against the floor as she searches about to see what's what. Some of the décor is familiar, but other seems obscene and strange to her. ]

Tell me more of this unkind place. If it is an enemy, should I not know it inside and out?

... There is little enough to know, but much to be wary of. It acts without warning, and the things it can do... it lets people inside your mind, charges your nature, your memories. Not everyone and not always. Many weeks can pass without event.

[she sighed, even if her mother did not agree with her, she would need it later, when she realized this was no dream or imagining she could control.]

I cannot say very much as happened to me, and for that I am thankful. I hope you are spared it, because it can be cruel and unforgiving.

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♔ un || christmas eve

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