003. Feast of Fools [Backdated] Dictation/Action

[makethemguilty]

HA! HA! HA! HA!

HELLO EVERYONE!! I don't believe I've spoken with many of you, which is why I have an important announcement to make!

I am Prosecutor Manfred von Karma, PERFECT PROSECUTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE!

Let it thus be known: I'M NUMBER ONE!

[What's this? An everyday tirade from your resident prosecutor? At first say-so yes, but this man sounded…..quite a bit more jovial. Maybe he's just a little off his game today or had a little too much holiday punch. Or maybe he's a F-O-O-L.]

In fact I am rather pleased to tell you all, just because I am feeling SPECTACULAR TODAY, THAT I WISH TO TELL YOU OF THE SECRET TO PERFECT SUCCESS.

Listen well: IF YOU WISH TO FOLLOW THE CREED OF VON KARMA, THERE'S SOMETHING ONLY VON KARMA KNOWS BEST.

[Ahem. Yes. He means to regale you in unnecessarily loud tones…a tale of how to achieve the perfect victory. ENJOY.]

A PROSECUTOR'S BEST ASSET IS HIS LIE ABILITY.

[He snorts. Laughing at your own jokes, it's the perfect kind of humor, okay?!]

HA HAH HA HA. Yes? Does the prospect intrigue? GOOD. DO I NOT EXUDE SUCCESSFUL RADIANCE?!

[As if you're really listening…]

IF YOU THINK I'M JOKING WELL, THEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S INSANE. Really, the key to MARVELOUS PERFECTION IS ONLY THIS...

EARLY MORNING BREAKFAST AND A CUP OF FINE TEA—MAYBE TWO, OR THREE. HYGIENE IS THE BEST PRIORITY - PRIMPING CANNOT BE SKIPPED, OR ELSE YOU CANNOT GET YOUR PERFECT DEBUT IN THE COURTROOM SCRIPT.

[Of course were you in his perfect presence he would be busy practicing his PERFECT GUILTY VERDICT MOVES. Yes this makes no sense. HAVE FUN.]

THEN…GRIND THE PATHETIC ATTORNEY'S ARGUMENTS INTO DUST. It's that simple, really.

Other than that, well, you'd have to ask TEACHER [that's Manfred, yes] personally, because really if you're honest with yourself you're too imperfect to be me, and this can only be mastered by ~*EXPERIENCE*~.

[ooc: I have no excuse for this late, but I couldn't pass up the Feast of Fools plot x3 ENJOY THE JUBLIANCE. And complete Manfred-fool weirdness.]

Comments

[action]

[silvertree]

[ Hear that annoyed sigh? There's one very grumpy elf glaring at Manfred with a look that's as icy as the coldest peaks of the Misty Mountains.

If not colder. ]

A fool such as you would do best to silence yourself.

[ It would seem that Manfred isn't the only one effected by this strange phenomenon, the Feast of Fools.]

[action]

[makethemguilty]

FOOOL?! I AM A GENIUS.

[He tsk, tsk's and wags his finger at the elfin "friend".]

I will do no such thing!

[silvertree]

[ The look of disgust upon Celeborn's face deepens into a fierce scowl. He does not approve of such ridiculous antics. ]

Spare me your mindless rantings. I do not converse with fools.

[makethemguilty]

My dear friend...I see you are irate.

[Yes, indeed Celeborn, why so angry?

But no matter! He is unable to be fazed by such a look!]

I do know of something which will be of much cheer to you!

[silvertree]

[ An exasperated sigh escapes him. ]

For the love of my sanity, begone! I'm not interested in you nor your shenanigans. Now if you will excuse me, I have dire business to attend to.

[makethemguilty]

[He's already made it in front of you somehow. And is in your personal space.]

What business? OHOHOHO! Don't be such a spoil sport, Celebee. You don't even know what it is I was going to say—

Cue Foolsworth

[cantacquityou]

Oh, sir~!! That was beyond brilliant! Marvelous! Magnificent!

EUREKA!!

[makethemguilty]

MILES, IT IS THE POWER OF PERFECTION WHICH DRIVES ME!! HAHHA DID YOU EXPECT NOTHING LESS?!

[cantacquityou]

Of course not, sir! It is plainer than day!

[makethemguilty]

More brilliant than the countless stars in the sky!

Or...indeed, the sparkle in my eye!

[And, mind you, there is such a glimmer in them!]

[cantacquityou]

Oh, if only I could shine nearly as brilliant as you...!

[makethemguilty]

Oooh, mein Schüler~☆ There is of course...always a way still to instill in you the mark of a man who has tasted...Perfection.

I have confidence in you, that you may too ~*LEARN MY WAYS.*~

[Mein Schüler = "His student".]

Wat is this icon

[cantacquityou]

There is not a day that goes by that I do not aspire to be ~*just like you...*~

Nice butt thar

[makethemguilty]

For which no doubt you will be handsomely rewarded.

Come to me!! LET ME TEACH YOU THE TRUE CREED OF A VON KARMA.