105.1 - we will not drink to blindness, dear

[hard_talker]

[instead of Leonard Cohen, this week, everyone gets this little gem piped through their radios and/or over the journals...]

Soooooo, hey, big surprise, the castle went on a little New Year's bender and had a bunch of us make total jackasses out of ourselves! Complete with a jackass queen, which, I gotta admit, was kind of a nice touch. But all in all, I'm surprised the castle even felt like it had to lift a finger. You guys are makin' enough waves on your own! Gold star to whoever made that royal, fishy-smelling mess out of the kitchen the other day. Real nice.

People's resolutions seem to be all over the fuckin' place - though a few of you decided the best way to ring in the year was to get yourselves knocked the fuck out. Nice job, guys.

Lessee, what else've we got on the menu ... some jerkass tried the annual Ploy To Take Over The Castle - try harder, dude, seriously ... there was a nice, thorny little question about revenge that got tossed out for the masses ... we've got a few people who're gonna go basically put up Biohazard signs in the Dead Zone because they didn't get enough Common Sense in their Christmas stockings ... and oh yeah, apparently we're a monarchy now, if you care about that sorta thing. Queen Anne vs. Mr. Many, I'm gonna start taking bets on the match now. But how's it gonna play out, sports fans? Fisticuffs? Pistols at dawn? Rock Paper Scissors? Your guess is as good as mine!

While we wait for the latest development in this thrilling clash of titans, why don't we give the first newbie shout-out of the year to Blues, Rise, some guy convinced he's the Easter Bunny - do we still have a shrink in the castle? - DeMarco, and Frodo! Buckle up, it's all up and down hills from here. Please stow all loose items - cameras, handbags, journals, emotional fuckin' baggage - in the net bins below your seats, and like hell do we expect you to remain seated for the duration of the ride.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some prime fucking entertainment to get to, tonight - any of you ever try to watch someone who's the same size as a video game controller play Glyph Factory? Because it's pretty hysteric-- OW! JESUS.

[someone's fairy-loss girlfriend just dropped said controller on his head]

After school special lesson of the week, kids. Don't make fun of vertically challenged people. Till next time, this is your neighborhood DJ Hard Harry, reminding you to take the mundane outta Monday.

Stop throwing fucking Pez at my head, Nora, for Christsakes...

Comments

[eat_me_beat_me]

Then stop fucking making fun of me.

[She sticks out her tongue, picking up another pez that - to her at least - is the size of a brick.]

[courageous_wit]

[oh, Mark, always a delight. Except...] The Easter Bunny? That's a new one.

[hard_talker]

Tell me about it. Next we're gonna get a guy who thinks he's Uncle Sam, right?

[hard_talker]

[he catches the next one and drops it into his soda with a smirk] Oh c'mon. Not like there's anything else I can do about it.

[eat_me_beat_me]

Yeah yeah. We'll see how well you do when you're four inches tall.

[she flies over and pokes him in the nose]

dictated;

[ensorceler]

[ Meanwhile, Anne is just staring at this contraption that got delivered to her room like it's been possessed by Satan. After turning it down and around to check it out, and fiddling with the knobs and whatnot, she lets out a startled yelp at the sudden voice coming from it.

She'd quickly throw it in her fire if she hadn't just heard her name, which makes her crouch down and listen more closely. Completely unaware she's even being mocked, she picked up the journal to see the broadcast has been transcribed, and asks curiously, ]

Mister Many? Who is this? I would have words with him.

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

His name is Bunnymund, and yes, he is actually the Easter Bunny. [The whole believing is seeing thing managed to convince her.]

[Dairine bursts out laughing at Mark's pained exclaimation. Some friend she is.]

Let me guess - Nora's on loss?

[courageous_wit]

Isn't that the one who takes all of your taxes?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

[EXCUSE you, Mark]

'Convinced' he's the Easter Bunny? Mate, I am the Easter Bunny.

[solowingpixy]

[He's going to have a bit of a laugh at the 'monarchy' bit. You know, a good mocking sort of laugh.]

Politics in this place? You've got to be kidding.

[originalcopy]

Wait... there's an Easter Bunny here now? That's messed up.

[originalcopy]

Hey do you know the tooth fairy? That bitch owes me money.

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

All tooth-to-gift exchanges are non refundable. And if you lost money because you had a bet with her, then it's your own fault.

[originalcopy]

[Ok, good answer. He's not sure if the bunny is playing it strait or if that was genuine snark.]

So, how does the egg thing work anyway?
Do you have a hoard of chickens or do you squeeze them out yourself?

dictated forever! idk maybe he'll filter later too

[valuedstrength]

[Wow there's a lot here to comment on. Let him pick the least important thing.]

... Are you sure he really isn't the Easter Bunny?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

[Depressingly straight. Especially about the betting thing. Don't gamble against the Tooth Fairy bro]

You're the second person to ask me if I hatch them myself, I'm starting to wonder if the castle makes people drongo. You know that rabbits are mammals right?

They come from flowers in my realm.

[the_effect_she_has]

Blah blah blah, aren't you always telling us that we need to get out and do something?

[therealrisette]

Huh?! Is this... a radio show?

[Rise happened to hear her name mentioned on this... broadcast? Whatever. Along with what sounded like highlights from all over Paradisa lately. She couldn't help but giggle - this place is weird.

But she's still confused about one thing. Well, more than one thing, but one thing in particular stands out. And she accidentally blurts it out with the journal still open.]

What's an... Easter Bunny?

[originalcopy]

Wait... they come from flowers?

That's supposed to be less weird than you laying them?

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

Weird or not, it's how're they're done, ya whacker.

[hard_talker]

Whatcha gonna do, hit me with magic dust? [he smirks, but it's the fond kind, the one that says he doesn't mean it. that he's trying not to worry. that he misses her]

[hard_talker]

Same dude, yeah. He's supposed to be the Spirit of America, but they mostly invented him for political cartoons that make fun of the way the country's run. The government was either too dense to take a joke or smarter than I usually give em credit for, and started using him as a symbol.

sorry I'm late, distracted by glorious threadjacking

[hard_talker]

Uh huh, sure. Anyone tell you you're early?

[hard_talker]

No, not really, what's messed up is that I've talked to God. And he was dressed like a janitor.

yes, they need to talk about Hank

[hard_talker]

Not till I see some proof. I know we got demons and gods here, but this is a little funky for me to just take at face value. I ain't been here that long.

[he is also eighteen. so there's that]