A Million Mushrooms

[theabjectauthor]

[for those residents questionably fortunate enough to be wandering about Wonderland - which, really, for all intents, possible should have been called Wanderland, for that is all they seem to be doing - you might round a bend in the forest and see a curl of green smoke.

don't worry, the forest is not on fire.

but if you are curious enough to follow it, you will find the smoke winds through the trees and into a grove of mushrooms! there is a very fancy decanter nearby, with the label "Drink Me" ... and on the ground, nearby to a clump of mushrooms: a tin of rice crackers and a small, fancy glass jar of wasabi. they're labeled "Eat Us", though the label is very small and likely not visible to the normal-sized eye.

on the mushrooms, however, is seated a large, blue caterpillar with a round and familiar face. he is humming contentedly to himself and occasionally taking puffs from an ornate hookah situated at the base of his mushroom-chair. well, that certainly explains the smoke.

his journal is propped up against another clump of mushrooms, and the caterpillar reaches out to turn the page with the wand of the hookah with an expression of vague disdain]

I do not suppose any of you know any fine verses...?

Comments

[kungfuwitch]

[She hums thoughtfully]

I know a verse or two. Though I'm more in the mood for a tale.

[theabjectauthor]

What kind of a tail? U already have one, do U not?

[the hookah smoke twines itself into a knot as he speaks]

[kungfuwitch]

[Oh the joys of talking to the caterpillar. Her own tail twitches as she replies.]

Not T-A-I-L. T-A-L-E.

[theabjectauthor]

I know how to spell, thank U. Is it a tale of a tail U R looking for?

[kungfuwitch]

I suppose I could hear a tale of a tail. Unless you know a tail with a particularly interesting tale to tell of its own.

[theabjectauthor]

I could tell you the tale of the mouse's tail, if the Mouse himself has not yet told it to you...

[kungfuwitch]

The Mouse has yet to regale me with that tale. Do tell.

[Action]

[deductiongeek]

[No one had ever accused Conan of a lack of curiosity. It was the detective's curse. He follows the trail of smoke to see this scene. ANd stops short as he enters the clearing.]

Maybe I should reconsider that theory about this being a delusion.

[theabjectauthor]

[the caterpillar looks up at him and blows a horseshoe of smoke] Who are U?

[deductiongeek]

Conan Edogawa. Detective. [His tone is unimpressed.]

[theabjectauthor]

Well, then ... [how a caterpillar can look a human boy up and down as though HE'S the bigger one is a mystery, but he manages somehow]

Deduce.

[deductiongeek]

Do I look like a performing monkey?

[theabjectauthor]

U do not look like a detective, either.

[deductiongeek]

What do you think a detective looks like?

Dictated forever

[onlyanapple]

There once was a man from Nantucket...

[theabjectauthor]

No, no, no, no.

There once was a snipe from Grunplacket! That's how it starts. U have it all wrong.

[onlyanapple]

....Isn't a snipe a kind of bird?

[theabjectauthor]

Do not - [cue one knot of smoke!] - interrupt while I am attempting to correct U, please.

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley smirks a little]

Then by all means, carry on.

[originalcopy]

You have got to be fuckin' kidding me.

[He stares at the giant larva for a few moments and shrugs.]

[theabjectauthor]

No. I am the Caterpillar. Who R U?

[originalcopy]

Church

[watches the letter puffs curl and float away.]

That's... actually a neat trick. How do you do that?

[theabjectauthor]

I simply do. It is no trick. It just is. U have lost your steeple. Where did it go?

[originalcopy]

Ask my bitch of a girlfriend.

[theabjectauthor]

O.

Y? Do U not know? [at 'knot', a wisp of smoke ties itself into a knot and drifts off to follow the U]

[originalcopy]

It's a pretty personal question there grubworth.

If anyone was going to gossip about it, it'd be her.

[squartatore]

I'm a flower, we don't do verses. [not unless they're set to some fine accompaniment >(]

[theabjectauthor]

At least U know who U R. We R getting far too many visitors who do not.

[squartatore]

Indeed, that is so. And of course they are unaware of the fact, too.