thirty-third twist of the coil

[vampirize]

This is positively the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. Painting roses? Using flamingos as croquet bats? Talking flowers? Was the castle on drugs when it created this all, or what?

Can castles even take drugs...? Oh, god, whatever, I don't need to think about stupid stuff like that. This is silly, and moronic, and I really don't need to be here, going to all those tea parties the creatures here keep rambling about.

[A pause as he grumbles to himself, before:]

They better have wine at that tea party, or I swear, I'm going to punch the Red Queen in the face, beheading or not.

Comments

[unnaturalpause]

[Now he sounds way to amused.]

I wouldn't punch her, Nikola, or else we'll both be getting an earful later for it.

When we're back in the castle. [Yes he's being vague because he can, shut up.]

[vampirize]

What do you mean, back in the castle? She's stuck here, isn't she?

[Guess who has no idea who the Red Queen is. THIS PERSON.]

[unnaturalpause]

[Great job, Nikola.] As stuck here as that group back in Paris last year was. [Hint hint.] Helen's the Queen, Nikola.

[mal_addict]

If they don't, then it's your own fault for being an idiot.

Filtered away from the March Hare, Dormouse and Mad Hatter

[not_mafia]

Ah-- I would advise you to take caution if you do go to that tea party, sir. The hosts are, well... I imagine they're friendly enough, but, they're not what you would call sane. Quite the opposite in fact.

[vampirize]

Hey, now, it's not like I wanted to go to Happy Crazy Fun Land over here, alright?

[vampirize]

...

Well...crap.

[That is about all he can say to this revelation.]

Filtered away from the March Hare, Dormouse and Mad Hatter

[vampirize]

You don't think I found that out when the talking flowers cheerfully informed me about the tea party that is being held in a place where everyone is beheaded if they even sneeze in the wrong direction?

I ditched the idea of people being sane the moment I got here.

dat ridiculous filter

[not_mafia]

Well, I suppose the beheading is a little much [NO YOU THINK], but what's so strange about talking flowers?

[mal_addict]

No, but it is your fault you played with a magic mirror.

[vampirize]

I didn't played with it, I glanced at it. They're two different things.

yes forever

[vampirize]

...

Okay, you're from one of those crazy worlds where things don't make sense, aren't you?

[mal_addict]

Nikola, do you honestly believe I'm going to buy that you just 'glanced' at it?


You poked it, didn't you?

[vampirize]

...No.

[A long pause.]

Maybe a little.

[mal_addict]

Knew it.

[vampirize]

Cut me some slack, I'm a curious man, okay?

...

And don't you dare quote the "curiosity killed the cat" thing on me, it doesn't apply here and you know it.

[Yes, it does.]

[mal_addict]

...

Yes it does. If there was ever a time it applied, this is the most obvious one.

[unnaturalpause]

Indeed. [How do you think he feels?] At least her distaste for coffee is still present.

[Haha yeah that's all he's got.]

[not_mafia]

Ah? I hail from Wonderland, actually. And, well, I suppose it can be a little, er... stressful, sometimes.

[vampirize]

Wait, you're a local?

Oh, nevermind then, let me talk with the sane people of the castle, and not to you absolutely compeltely out-of-your-mind people, thank you very much.

[vampirize]

Oh, just be quiet, alright? I don't need this griping...

[vampirize]

Yes, because the thing we need to be most concerned about is whether or not she still despises that drink, exactly.

And she's really serious about the head-chopping-off thing?

[mal_addict]

And yet I'm giving it anyway.

Because I feel you actually do need it.

[not_mafia]

Oh, come now, not everyone is so bad... [yes they are]

[vampirize]

Really? Because I feel like I'm going to go out of my mind if things don't start to make logical sense around here.

[vampirize]

When did you suddenly turn into the voice of reason?

[mal_addict]

One of us has to be.

[vampirize]

Tch. Being reasonable has never led to anything exciting, though.

[mal_addict]

If by exciting you mean 'still alive' then sure.

[vampirize]

[A scoff.]

Being immortal allows you to do whatever you want, you know.

[mal_addict]

There are always exceptions to things like that. [Well, except for her, but whatever]

[not_mafia]

I assure you, it all makes quite logical sense to the natives here!

[vampirize]

Yeah, well, I don't want part of your logic, alright? I have my own, it can't be replaced that easily.

[vampirize]

I know, but they're far and few. I don't have much to worry about.

[mal_addict]

It never hurts to be cautious. [Don't die or she'll kick your ass]

[vampirize]

No, it doesn't.

[A pause.]

Don't worry, I'll try to stay out of trouble as best as I can.

[mal_addict]

I don't really believe you're actually able to do that, but it's nice to know you'll at least try.

[vampirize]

I'm really glad you have so much faith in me, thanks, Mal.

[mal_addict]

I'm happy that's getting through loud and clear.