031 || written/dictated;

[workaphilic]

[ Anyone Who Has Left and Returned with Memories ]

[He thinks on this filter for a long time. (Whether he should keep himself anonymous or not, whether it's even worthwhile in the grand scheme of things.) But eventually, he writes:]

I have questions, if you're willing to answer.

SH

----

[ Anyone Who Has Experienced a 'Trip Home', excluding John Watson ]

I'd like to compare notes, as it were. Provided you're amenable.

SH

----

[Some time later, he'll dictate to the castle at large. There's not much energy in him today; he sounds worn out.]

Give me recipes, residents. Your favorites from your home world, I don't care.

Unless you're from Earth, in which case, don't bother.

Comments

[whichwayyoulean]

Do you actually want to eat this food, or not? Because I'm getting mixed signals here.

[workaphilic]

[Meh.]

I'm bored enough.

[whichwayyoulean]

Oh gee. Glad I can fill a gap in your tedious schedule.

[workaphilic]

You're welcome.

[Yeah, he's that kinda guy.]

Still, I'm not bored enough for this. So, again: are you going to make it or not?

[whichwayyoulean]

[What a delightful fellow]

Yeah sure, why not. When do you want it?

[workaphilic]

As soon as possible.

[whichwayyoulean]

Fine, I guess I'll go into the kitchen or something.

[workaphilic]

Excellent.

[And the journal shuts without so much as a thank you, or any indication that he'll be going to the kitchen, too.

A+ social skills. You've got a rival, Oncie.]

[whichwayyoulean]

[What is this guy even.

You know what you weirdo fine, he'll go to the kitchen and cook green eggs and freaking ham.

And you better show]

[workaphilic]

[He isn't there when Once gets there, but he does show up when the festivities are underway.

As evidenced by this creepy, alienesque guy insinuating his way into the Once-ler's space to get a better look at the food while it cooks. Sup, bro.]

Oh, good. This might be worthwhile after all.

[whichwayyoulean]

[Welp, this is definitely the weird journal guy. Wow, he really has to meet more normal people. He carefully moves a little, giving himself some personal space again]

Oh gee. Great. That's what I was aiming for.

[workaphilic]

I'd hope so.

[Normal people are for suckers. He whirls away to peer into a cabinet.]

How long will it take?

[whichwayyoulean]

[The Once-ler watches him for a minute. Maybe this guy has some sort of attention disease or something...]

About another ten minutes or so.

[workaphilic]

Fine.

[He hoists himself to sit on the counter. He has a bag of almonds he took from the cabinet.]

In the meantime, tell me about your world.

[whichwayyoulean]

[The Once-ler glances Weird Guy's way for a moment, before resuming cooking]

It's a little like Earth...but not at the same time. Our animals and plants are very different. The term 'weird' has been thrown about a little.

[workaphilic]

[Crunch crunch crunch. He's hungry, apparently.]

How so?

[whichwayyoulean]

[He'll just be idly poking the (green) eggs with a spatula as they fizzle in the frying pan]

The fish come up out onto land a lot. And sing. That one creeps people out from Earth a whole lot.

[workaphilic]

So what you call fish are actually amphibious. [He shrugs.] Not that interesting. Next.

[whichwayyoulean]

No, no. They're actual fish. Hummingfish, they're called. They're not-

[He turns again to give Sherlock a strange look. RUDE] Then there are the Sneetches.

[workaphilic]

[He returns a pinched smile.]

Sounds better. Try being more specific.

[whichwayyoulean]

[He continues to cook, stealthily covering up an unless that's appearing on the sideboard with a hand as he does so. Nothing to see here]

They're a sort of bird that live on the beeches. Really big, sentient birds. Some have stars on their bellies, and some don't. They used to fight over that, the star-bellied ones thinking they were superior to the ones without.

[And then weird Seuss shit happened, but he has a feeling Sherlock won't believe in that even if he tried to explain it]

[workaphilic]

[Silly Once, don't you know he notices everything? The motion, at least, if not the word itself.

That said, all he does is fake-yawn very, very loudly.]

Next.

[whichwayyoulean]

[The Once-ler rolls his eyes a little]

You know, if you're not that interested why did you even ask?

[workaphilic]

Because I assumed you'd have at least something worth talking about. An entire world can't be hideously boring all the time, try as it might.

[whichwayyoulean]

...You don't find quasi-racist birds worth talking about?