052. Dazed and Confused

[samson]

[It's early in the morning, around seven o'clock, when Brock's voice comes over the journals. Not that he's expecting too many people to be up at this hour, but maybe they'll come across it later? Ugh.

Stupid.]

So, uh ... I think I misplaced my wife someplace. She usually prowls around at night but comes back by this time, so ... if anybody's seen a really annoying cat, can you return her to me?

[He's hoping she's just hiding somewhere, because if she's fallen down a well or got stuck up a tree or something stupid, he's going to be mad. As it is, he's distracted enough to forget to mention that she's usually not a cat.]

Thanks.

Comments

[assassino]

We have been friends for a year and she has yet to kill me, regardless of what I've done. I'm not so concerned anymore.

[samson]

Yeah... I've known her for, like, over twenty... so... believe me. She -- wait, what have you done?

[assassino]

I came from a time where women do not try to act like men.

[samson]

If she finds out you said that, she's gonna slap you.

[assassino]

I can take it.

[samson]

That's not the point.

[assassino]

So?

[samson]

So... you should probably quit saying stuff that disrespects her.

[Brock is allowed because he is married to her. It's a privilege you have to earn, sir!]

[assassino]

Brock, do you honestly enjoy having a wife who acts like she has bigger balls than you? It is not disrespect to say a woman should embrace their femininity.

[samson]

If I wanted something different, I wouldn't have fallen in love with her. She was the best spy in her whole country. I think that's a hell of a lot more impressive than "femininity."

[assassino]

It is bizarre to me. I could love a woman like her, but I do not know that I could take a woman like her as my wife. A wife shouldn't belittle her husband constantly.

[samson]

She doesn't do it constantly ...

[assassino]

I watched her stab you with poison and put you under a table.

[samson]

That was one time.

[assassino]

She still calls you "stupid" and denigrates you all the time.

[samson]

What -- did she say something to you?

[assassino]

I thought it was a pet name for you.

[samson]

What did she say...

[assassino]

[SHRUG...]

She's always casually called you stupid or ignorant and so on.

[samson]

Oh. Well, she does that to everybody.

[assassino]

But surely she should not do that to her husband.

[samson]

Well, we knew each other for a long time before we got married... like, we were always trying to kill each other. So it's probably just habit. I don't think she means it.

[assassino]

I suppose, but it is still a sign of disrespect.

[samson]

Yeah. Not a whole lot I can do about it, though. That's just how she is, I guess.

[assassino]

I cannot understand how a woman can be so terrified and distraught at the very thought of losing you, yet behave in such a way that most men would find any reason to be rid of her.