(no subject)

[payback]

[Written in fairly anonymous print. Yeah, driven in large part by Uru's departure - though to be honest now, one person leaving isn't just about one person leaving. It brings back memories of all the people who left before.]

I can't believe how much my perspective on people coming and going has changed here. I wish I could say it was for the better. I go back and forth on how this castle really is and how awful it actually is or isn't, but then there's always a reminder waiting to slap you in the face, right?

Someone leaves again. All our connections here are tenuous. Depending on the whim of the castle someone who'd been here for years could disappear, and then in a matter of days everyone who knew about them could disappear, and what with how the journals restarted, it's possible that no one who came in could even know who they were or why anyone cared about them. Like they'd never even been here.

Maybe that's what some people really want. People hate it here anyway. But it's weird.

[Rin is outside, sitting under Alexstrasza's tree - yet another memento of someone who was here and then gone and left hardly any trace except for those who know where to look.

She's bundled up to deal with the autumnal weather and leaning back against the warm flank of her Arcanine, flipping through the journal idly. Doing nothing and with nothing in particular in mind to do. She could probably find a job, but who cares? Nothing can't wait.]

Comments

dictated;

[midget]

People come and go. That's a fact of life, with or without the castle. They leave, often without warning, or they die. Only the young and foolish don't know to cherish their time with their friends or family. [ A chuckle. ]

But if you're going to hate the castle, be my guest. It's done plenty of other things to warrant it.

written.

[payback]

I know that. I think it's equally terrible in a "normal" world too.

[Yeah, she knows who it is, she's just going to... keep her own identity on the dl for now.]

written forever

[shrugs_a_lot]

Who left now? [Did it even matter?]

same

[payback]

A lot of people.

The latest's name was Uru.

[shrugs_a_lot]

[Uru...? That cheerful girl?

Goddammit, she left without him paying his debt... great. Just great.

There is a bit of a pause before he writes again.]

What was your perspective before?

[payback]

I guess I used to be more hopeful about it. If someone came back even having forgotten everything, I'd think it would be better to try and reach out to them again.

Now I guess I wonder why I should bother. I've seen some people come and go a lot of times, and I've outlasted a lot of the people here. I don't know why I should go to connect to someone who probably won't even stick around.

[shrugs_a_lot]

How long did it take for you to realize that?

[cloakand_danger]

It is strange, isn't it? In this world where death is a temporary inconvenience, departure is more like death as we usually understand it. I should be used to it, but I'm used to it happening over the course of decades, not months. Lasting years upon years in Paradisa is...something like immortality, sped up.

[payback]

I hadn't heard of it thought like that before. [It's eye-opening.]

I know being so sure of how impermanent things are is nothing new to a lot of people here. But I'm never going to be immortal, so it's novel to me.

Dictated forever

[onlyanapple]

People leave. It's one of the facts of life. They live their short little lives, which are so bright, but inevitably flicker out in the blink of an eye, time-wise.

The only difference here is most of them don't die to move to another place.

[payback]

So what do you do about it?

[onlyanapple]

Get drunk, mostly.

[payback]

Maybe I should do that more often.

Dictated

[not_mafia]

[woah what. That definitely makes him uneasy; two of his friends were a part of the group that had been here for years. It seemed like so many people were leaving, lately...]

...who was it?

[payback]

Did you know Uru?

[not_mafia]

Uru? --oh, yeah! I did meet someone by that name awhile ago. ... was she here for a long time?

[payback]

A few years. That's a long time around here.

She's gone now.

written;

[hellshaped]

[He doesn't disguise his handwriting; as such, it comes from somebody obviously left-handed.]

I think it's more about what the castle wants. It gives us these friendships and connections, and it takes them away. Why?

[payback]

I guess you could go with how it seems to feed off of our emotions.

Maybe the things people feel from losing those connections are just another kind of meal.

[hellshaped]

Exactly.

We should probably try not to feel anything when people leave. But it's hard enough to hold onto your humanity here as it is.

[payback]

I don't think she went back to something unpleasant at least. So maybe I should be happy for her anyway. But it's not like us wanting it brings people back, so we might as well indulge ourselves.

written

[selfless]

[there's a pause as Colette reads the message a few times, before writing (she's not trying to disguise her handwriting, but it's up to you if Rin recognizes it at all)]

Hello!

[payback]

[She doesn't recognize it now. Rin doesn't usually write to people, so she doesn't concentrate that much on writing.]

Hello. [Wondering what this person will be getting at... perhaps an optimistic schtick?]

[selfless]

I'm not sure who this is, but I just wanted to say hello.

[she pauses, considering if she should say more. Well, considering lately honesty has been what she's been trying to be better at-]

I know this is a very forward thing to say [whoops, crosses that out] write, but when I read what you wrote, it sounded like you might be lonely.

[payback]

[Oh wow. That kind of hits her with a wince - mostly because Colette is so correct. Rin didn't think it was THAT obvious.

This would be more embarrassing if she hadn't taken pains to make her entry anonymous.]

I'm sad that my friend has left. I've seen a lot of people leave.