paradisa | (no subject)

[Written in fairly anonymous print. Yeah, driven in large part by Uru's departure - though to be honest now, one person leaving isn't just about one person leaving. It brings back memories of all the people who left before.]

I can't believe how much my perspective on people coming and going has changed here. I wish I could say it was for the better. I go back and forth on how this castle really is and how awful it actually is or isn't, but then there's always a reminder waiting to slap you in the face, right? Someone leaves again. All our connections here are tenuous. Depending on the whim of the castle someone who'd been here for years could disappear, and then in a matter of days everyone who knew about them could disappear, and what with how the journals restarted, it's possible that no one who came in could even know who they were or why anyone cared about them. Like they'd never even been here. Maybe that's what some people really want. People hate it here anyway. But it's weird.

[Rin is outside, sitting under Alexstrasza's tree - yet another memento of someone who was here and then gone and left hardly any trace except for those who know where to look.

She's bundled up to deal with the autumnal weather and leaning back against the warm flank of her Arcanine, flipping through the journal idly. Doing nothing and with nothing in particular in mind to do. She could probably find a job, but who cares? Nothing can't wait.]

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[there's a pause as Colette reads the message a few times, before writing (she's not trying to disguise her handwriting, but it's up to you if Rin recognizes it at all)]

Hello!

Edited 2012-11-16 20:22 (UTC)

[She doesn't recognize it now. Rin doesn't usually write to people, so she doesn't concentrate that much on writing.]

Hello. [Wondering what this person will be getting at... perhaps an optimistic schtick?]

I'm not sure who this is, but I just wanted to say hello.

[she pauses, considering if she should say more. Well, considering lately honesty has been what she's been trying to be better at-]

I know this is a very forward thing to ~~say~~ [whoops, crosses that out] write, but when I read what you wrote, it sounded like you might be lonely.

[Oh wow. That kind of hits her with a wince - mostly because Colette is so correct. Rin didn't think it was THAT obvious.

This would be more embarrassing if she hadn't taken pains to make her entry anonymous.]

I'm sad that my friend has left. I've seen a lot of people leave.

[ah... She writes back right away]

I feel the same way a lot of the time. [a pause, then more writing]

I've been here for a few years, and even though I'm really grateful for the friends that I have now, I still think a lot about the people who have gone home.

Some of them I wish I didn't think about. But I still think about them a lot.

You don't want to think about some of them? Why is that?

I just wind up missing them. It's not productive.

Even if it's not productive, I don't think missing friends is a bad thing.

What good do you think it does?

As long as I have that feeling, I know I'll never forget them.

[there's a pause, and then the journal probably picks up a nervous laugh] Sorry, I don't know if that makes any sense.

Maybe I understand. If you miss your friends, it's still remembering them.

Yes.

In the end, I'd rather remember them and be sad, than be happy and forget them.

Yeah. Me too. It's just really tiring sometimes.

I see, I understand that.

[and she's not sure how to help with that, because it can be hard...]

I might have known some of your friends. So, if you'd ever like to talk about any of them with someone, you can contact me.