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[iin2ufferable]

[ Nepeta, written ]

hey np
can you come two my block?
for rea2on2.

[ everyone, dictated ]

So. What do purrbeasts eat? Will they eat a sandwich? Because that's about all I can cook so it better eat a sandwich or else it's shit out of luck.

Comments

[truestsciences]

are you fuckin serious right now
disregardin the fact that makin a sandwwich doesnt evven come close to anythin resemblin cookin dont you think itd just be better to givve them the parts to it
or you could
you knoww
wwish up some purrbeast food wwhich should havve been your first thought but maybe im givvin you the benefit a the doubt

[iin2ufferable]

2eriiou2ly?
they make food ju2t for purrbea2t2?

ed iif you're 2hiitiing me riight now then you're goiing to be the FIIR2T per2on ii teach hiim two attack.

[truestsciences]

yes a course im just wastin all on my time in comin up wwith lies to provve that im smarter then you evver could be
of course theres fuckin special food for purrbeasts just like wwith most other domesticated creatures
anyone wwith half a thinkpan wwould knoww this shit
do you really think your purrbeast is goin to scare me

[iin2ufferable]

becau2e ii have owned 2O MANY pet2.
there ha2 not been a poiint iin my entiire 2iix 2weep2 that ii wa2 not rolliing iin them.

and yeah ii do thiink 2o.
but hey iif you want two undere2tiimate the de2troyer, go riight ahead.
you wiill be 2iingiing a diifferent 2ong when he claw2 your face off.

[truestsciences]

if youre so fuckin inexperienced wwhy do you think you can raise an animal here

the destroyer
could havve decided on a wworse name
if you try to set it on me you wwont havve it much longer

[iin2ufferable]

iit'2 a fuckiing awe2ome name.
po22iibly the one good thiing ii have ever done iin my liife.
liike my biig claiim two fame ii2 goiing two be my awe2ome purrbea2t.

[truestsciences]

maybe if awwesome is synonymous wwith terrible
im sure your hellbeast wwill achievve more then you evver wwill evven if its not doin wwhat you wwant it to

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

[Moodiness and castle shenanigans be damned, she's gonna try to be your friend again.]

Can I assume a purrbeast is a cat? They do make food special for them, but they are partial to seafood as well!

Dictated

[iin2ufferable]

Yeah, I guess humans call it a cat. I've never had one before, I don't know why... they're so cute.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

In my experience they can be rather troublesome, but I suppose they can be cute, too.

Anyway, the kitchen will definitely have fish, and cats like fish. And milk.

Dictated

[iin2ufferable]

Fish and milk. Got it.

[ wait a second... ]

Why are you even helping me?

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

You asked for help, that's why. Is that alright?

Dictated

[iin2ufferable]

Yeah, but I was a huge asshole to you.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

That doesn't mean I have to be one to you in return.

SOLLUX

[rogueofheart]

:33 < *ac pawnders what these reasons could be*
:33 < ok i will be there soon
:33 < everything is ok though, right?

NEPETA

[iin2ufferable]

yeah everythiing ii2 fiine.
why would anythiing be wrong?
ii have de2troyer now.

SOLLUX

[rogueofheart]

:33 < wait
:33 < who is destroyer?

SOLLUX

[iin2ufferable]

my new purrbea2t, that'2 what ii named hiim.
iit'2 goiing two be a theme, once ii get more.
de2troyer, ravager, 2layer, extermiinator, executiioner.
that'2 about a2 far a2 ii got 2iince ii'm 2hiit at comiing up wiith name2.

SOLLUX

[rogueofheart]

:33 < omg, purrbeasts??
:33 < that is all you had to say
:33 < i will be right over

Yes he wrote an entry just to himself that's what he did

[iin2ufferable]

k

dictated

[dupable]

Purrbeasts... like cats? You could probably just wish up some cat food for it, you don't even have to cook that.

dictated

[iin2ufferable]

Yeah those things. Listen, I didn't know there was special purrbeast food, okay?

dictated

[dupable]

Really? But aren't you and Nepeta friends? That is kind of a basic cat fact!

dictated

[iin2ufferable]

Uh, for certain definitions of friends. Why would I talk to her about taking care of purrbeasts?

dictated

[dupable]

Wait, so you guys aren't really friends? And I don't know, but she likes cats a lot so I wouldn't be surprised if it came up sometime.

[legacydeck]

It depends on the cat. Assuming you mean cats, anyway. Mine likes sweets, though he's a bit unusual. Fish, deboned. Cream. Possibly peanut butter and jam, though I haven't tried that.

[iin2ufferable]

peanut butter and jam.
ii can do that.
that'2 ea2y enough.

[legacydeck]

It's worth a try. Cats tend to be vocal if they don't agree with your choices about them, anyway.

[iin2ufferable]

oh great another 2hort loud obnoxiiou2 a22hole.
ju2t what ii needed.
at lea2t he'2 cute, ii gue22.
and 2oft.
huh.

[legacydeck]

Yes, they do have certain drawbacks and benefits.

[iin2ufferable]

Like what else?

[legacydeck]

They have a tendency to massacre furniture they don't approve of. They do, however, generally clean themselves, unlike dogs.

[nukeoleptic]

oh nooo
do you really call them purrbeasts??

[iin2ufferable]

yeah we call them purrbea2t2, what'2 wrong wiith that?

[nukeoleptic]

i mean i am not exactly the biggest fan of cats anymore
but thats adorable

[iin2ufferable]

iif you don't liike cat2 you're wrong.

[nukeoleptic]

my dreamself and my dog to prototyped together
and then i went godtier
cats make me mad, i cant help it :(

[iin2ufferable]

2o what then.
you're the hero of hatiing purrbea2t2 now?
2uck2 two be you.

[goingrogue]

purrbeast food
but u know theyll totes take the meat from ur sandwich if u let them
never turn ur back on a sandwich when u got purrbeasts on ur hands
never
ever
unless of course u want a meatless sandwich
they like fish 2 tho
like tuna
o an milk

[iin2ufferable]

do you thiink they would eat fii2h troll?

[shenunigans]

cats eat faces
dont sleep around them or theyll crawl on your face and smother you to death

[iin2ufferable]

good.
ii'll tell hiim two eat ed'2 face.
kiill two biird2 at once.
or kiill a fii2h and feed a purrbea2t.
whatever.

[shenunigans]

i didnt know you could speak cat
ngl though
i feel kind of sorry for the cat in that situation

[iin2ufferable]

yep.
maybe after he'2 done wiith ed ii'll make hiim go pi22 on your 2leepiing plateau.

[shenunigans]

if i catch it im keeping it and selling it to the highest bidder
or eridan for dinner

[psych0p0mps]

umm i guess they might?
when did you get a cat 0_0