Nepeta: Fail at being secretive.

[rogueofheart]

[(BROKEN) FILTER AWAY FROM VRISKA]

:33 < tomorrow vwiskers will have b33n in purradisa fur two human years
:33 < i was going to wait fur her sw33p anniversary which honestly is not long after this
:33 < but since human years are the thing here i figured this is what we should go by
:33 < anyway its kind of a big deal so everyone should be nice to her
:33 < well you dont have to be like super nice, just dont be a jerk to her ok
:33 < i wonder if we should do anything special fur her like a party?
:33 < do people have parties when they have b33n stuck here this long?
:33 < we should do something anyway so if anyone wants to help surprise her let me know


(ooc: FEEL FREE TO THREADJACK ANYWHERE BTW. OPEN TO EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY BOOTY ENTHUSIASTS/CONNOISEURS)

Comments

[fluthlu]

[GOOD JOB, GOLD STAR DAVE]

Ah, I suppose this could have been broken in a gentler manner.
Surprise - it's twins.

[goingrogue]

shit son
no rly
SHIT
SON
WHY DIDNT U TELL ME
that shoulda been a thing u told me
u know when we talked about being momdaughters
omg a son
shit a son
i have a son

[fluthlu]

It felt less than relevant at that precise moment.
My deepest apologies.

[goingrogue]

its ok
i can forgive u
i mean i wish i woulda known
but now i kno thats more than enough for me ;D

[fluthlu]

Well, I certainly hope that you find teen motherhood as vaguely entertaining and satisfactory as it's cracked up to be so far.

[goingrogue]

well im not gonna lie
i always imagined id b a little older
prob settle down with a choice hottie that wanted me 2 have his babies
but if this is the way it must be
im totes down with that
so u never did tell me
whos b the daddy

[fluthlu]

It's a bit less direct than that, I'm afraid.
Are you familiar with ectobiology, and its significance within SBURB?

[goingrogue]

yea i kno all bout that
i am kinda the ectocat MASTER
so many ectocats have been brought bout by my wicked hands
well that an i talked 2 john already
so i kno he ectocloned all his beefs
but still theres gotta be a daddy even if its an ectodaddy
i kinda figd it was dirk tbh
it is dirk rite
plz say its dirk

[fluthlu]

[Not sure if the mental image of "so many ectocats" is concerning or cute.]

Well, I suppose there's no use in misrepresentation.
We are just one big, cheerful family.

[wagers]

Ok! Now that... something happened, you can all go 8ack to paying attention to me, a Vriska!

[goingrogue]

but u dont like it when i pay attention 2 u
i tried to compliment ur booty
or do u secretly like it
secretly serketly like it
omg it suddenly makes sense
u MUST serketly like it
does this mean u serketly like me 2

[wagers]

NO.

[fluthlu]

Have you no heart?
Breaking up sentimental family reunions like this?
For shame!

[wagers]

Lalonde, please.
This hot mess NEEDS 8r8king up!

[fluthlu]

If I were a movie cliche, this would be the moment in which I say something to the effect of, "It may be a hot mess, but it's my hot mess!"

[shenunigans]

they dont make hallmark cards for this shit for a reason
theres no gentle way to say
hi space mom were your kids in an alternate universe and we saw you in a dream bubble once but space bro carried you away before we could meet you for real

[fluthlu]

That is a travesty in and of itself.
Just imagine all of the poor, lost siblings in our situation, wishing merely to send a token of greeting to their space teen parents.
But alas, the drugstore's selection is tragically sparse.

[shenunigans]

i guess one of those im sorry for your loss cards might work for now
im not sure how well we measure up as kids considering our super awesome relationships with our non alternate guardians

[fluthlu]

That would be more than appropriate, I believe.
Or perhaps, "I'm sorry for your impromptu teen parenthood."
That sounds properly sympathetic.

[shenunigans]

considering how popular 16 and pregnant is youd think theyd already have a line of those out with condoms taped to the back

[fluthlu]

It does seem as though it could be a marketable franchise.
Perhaps we've struck gold.

[shenunigans]

heres a free sample

[fluthlu]

[oh no you're going to make her laugh out loud over the journal stahp]

Lovely work, if I may say so.
Poignant, yet subtle.
A true masterpiece for the ages.

[shenunigans]

[If he can't make you laugh what kind of ecto sibling is he.]

a timeless classic for ages and heres hoping 16 years and up
anything younger and i come to the store and staple a condom to your damn forehead

[fluthlu]

[Okay okay, there might be a little chuckle going on.]

How dare you cast prejudice against adolescent love, Dave?
You wound me with your judgements!