Twenty Two Spoons {Written, Backdated to earlier this morning}

[cyan_maid]

{(BROKEN) Filtered to: Dirk Strider}

Hello, Dirk.
How are you doing? Well, I hope.
You must hate me for how I
I don’t blame you because I hate me too
I know we’re…not. And that you’ll most definitely ignore this.
I don’t even know why I bothered to filter it to you, I should’ve just made it private.
But I digress.
I wanted to say…that you were right about everything.
I have sat, and thought, and accepted that I am a coward when it comes to telling the truth about my emotions. And I only have myself to blame when it causes everyone grief.
But I cannot accept staying that way. I’ll just keep hurting the friends I have left.
That is the problem, right? I can’t own up to anything I feel until it’s killing me inside, and then I let it jump out, and it hurts everyone. Well no more!
I’ll tell the truth about everything, and I won’t tiptoe around a single thing no matter how scared I am!
I don’t care if it takes me a thousand years of living in this castle until there is no one else left, and I don’t care if I never earn back your friendship! I shalln’t let anything stop me!!!

Comments

voice;

[goingrogue]

Uh... Jane, I think you might need to check your filters, because I know for a fact I did not start hackin' in my sleep and... I'm pretty sure you didn't mean for people to see this, considering the private nature of what's going on in your text there.

Dictated, 1/? (I'll let you know when it's done)

[cyan_maid]

Wha...

2/?

[cyan_maid]

[What?]

3/?

[cyan_maid]

[WHAT??]

4/4 Kay that's it

[cyan_maid]

B-but I DID!!!!!!!!

[No no no she made double and TRIPLE sure she filtered this BEFORE she even wrote a single letter HOW CAN ROXY SEE THIS]

[goingrogue]

Are you sure about that? I mean, super duper sure? Ultra mega sure? I would think if you did I wouldn't be able to see this right now. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not the least bit nosy, but I do know a thing or two about privacy and all. And I don't think I coulda hacked it if I tried.

[cyan_maid]

[That was either a groan or a sob. Jane can't even tell which it was.]

Oh my GOD...

[goingrogue]

Sorry, Jane, but you know I can't just pretend that never happened, right? Come here and tell Roxy all 'bout it.

[cyan_maid]

[Now THAT was definitely a groan into a pillow.]

Not - not where everyone can SEE!!!!!!

oh shit pretend i didn't switch formatting

[goingrogue]

'Course not, I didn't expect you to do that. Why don't you come over? We can have a few drinks and I can offer you my ear.

Already pretended

[cyan_maid]

[It's quiet on this end for a while. Someone is weighing her options - and calming down a bit. Can't keep flying off the handle.]

...It's kind of serious, Rolal. I don't think either of us can be serious with a drink.

[patching_up]

Jane...?

[She's one of the few people he knows so far, and here she is in emotional distress; he can't help but be concerned.]

Are you okay?

It's... not always wrong to be afraid, you know.

Suddenly Dictated, (BROKEN) Filtered to 5

[cyan_maid]

N-Not really??

[She is definitely panicked over here.]

I didn't mean for people to see this!!!

[kungfuwitch]

Oh. Oh sweetie. I'm not trying to eavesdrop or anything but that... wasn't filtered.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

It well should have been!! What's going on here, do you know???

dictated;

[is_mafia]

...Ah, Jane?

[An awkward pause because he's not quite sure how to tell her he can see that obviously personal message.]

You may want to check the filter on that.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

[WHY DOES EVERYONE FEEL THE NEED TO POINT OUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED.]

I've checked it several times now. I don't know why it's not working!! Oh my God...

Dictated

[is_mafia]

[HE WASN'T SURE WHAT WAS GOING ON.]

Not many people can have seen it yet... perhaps if you scribble it out? [He's trying to be helpful, okay.]

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

I don't know if I can???

Dictated

[is_mafia]

[...Oh, well this is awkward.]

...I'm sorry, Jane. [That he read something personal of hers, and that everybody else can read it too.]

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

It's fine! It's fine, can we just - not - talk about it??

Dictated

[is_mafia]

Sounds like a good idea.

[Yes, let's not. Especially with apparently no filters. But he wouldn't bring it up again, especially if she didn't want it brought up. Everybody had things they didn't want to talk about, him no exception.]

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

Thank you. I - I really appreciate it.

Dictated

[is_mafia]

It's no trouble. [He smiles.] You're a friend.

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

[She's quiet for a little while.]

You say that so easily.