paradisa | xix. dictated, action

Entry tags:

lucrezia borgia

xix. dictated, action

Lana
How about an early morning ride?

Micheletto
You will help me with my crates. [ Because packing is tough. ]

Stephanie
Tell me if you mean to visit, even if not to see me. He would not find unexpected guests so pleasant.

What does it mean when the castle gave some no glimpse of old age?

[ Lucrezia is on her knees in the church in town, hands counting through her white rosary and reciting her prayers under her breath. She keeps her hood over her head.

It might seem foolish to believe that saying something over and over again gives it greater weight, or that time and voice can buy penance, but she feels she must at least-- try. She isn't praying for her own soul, she wonders if she would ever. But she loses count of how many times she has said the Ave Maria, and stands to go. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ She huffs. ]

Were you not telling me to keep safe only a moment ago?

[There's dead silence on this end for a good while.]

So... not trusting me is being safe.

My brother is gone, there are too few I can trust. But I would always know where Joshua stands.

[Wow, that... really hurts. More than she expected it to.]

[ The silence is terrible... but she allows it for as long as she can stand it. She is sure Stephanie is still there. ]

I meant it, when I said I want to trust you.

[It's been a long time since someone's been so blunt about not trusting her. The last person that comes to mind is Tim, and even here he seemed to have been hesitant as to where her loyalties were. She's sort of hoping that's no longer an issue with him.

But this... really, really sucks.]

Why can't you?

Tell me, Stephanie, have you ever lied to me?

[It's too late to stop, so she just goes with it.]

No. Do you think I have?

Not even for Ezio's sake?

[Fuck.]

What do you think I'm lying about?

That is for you to confess.

[Digging a deeper hole.]

Nothing.

Would you ever lie to him for my sake?

Depends on the situation.

[Is that another lie?]

Are you trying to figure out who I like more or something?

No matter. It is not worth figuring out.

Right.

Well, I hope Joshua fills my trustworthy spot adequately.

[So sore. Lucrezia has no idea all the arguments she's had, trying to keep things peaceful for both her and her brother.]

He will not.

[ Because even despite it all, she would rather have Steph with her too. ]

What changed, then?

I survived my brother's departure, did I not? I can walk away [ from you ] and be fine.

[She almost can't believe what she's hearing.]

If you wanted to [~~make her take Ezio's side~~] hurt my feelings, you're doing a pretty damn good job of it. Congratulations.

[ She takes a slow inhale. So what if Steph can hear her voice breaking? ]

No, you should offer me your condolence instead. I have lost what I meant to gain.

[She bites back a mean laugh.]

Seriously? By treating me like this? I think you might wanna rethink your approach.

[ Lucrezia can do that, a sneer and a disbelieving sigh. ]

And I never thought you cruel.

That's because I'm not. You're the one disregarding my concern, telling me you don't trust me, and then expecting me to just--go back to how we were. That is cruel. Cruel and selfish. You have no freakin' clue--[how much she's stressed over her, worried about her, gone out of her way to be SURE Ezio didn't do anything stupid, argued for her and her family to others--]

I don't deserve this.

[This is the crap she swore she'd never put up with ever again.]

[ She chokes back her sobs because who cares that she doesn't cry prettily? Her only thought is what if Cesare was wrong but he can't be. He can't be. ]

Do not visit without notice. I do not want you hurt.