129.0

[encryptedlock]

[Okay, York feels a little silly for actually writing out this filter, but...well. There's the half-remembered time as a demented old guy and then there's some actual physical proof.]

[The Easter Bunny]

Hey, uh. Well. Thanks. I don't think we've ever had a holiday this fun without side effects from the chocolate like turning into chickens or something equally ridiculous.

[He pauses awkwardly, because way to go talking to the Easter Bunny. But hell, he'd talked to Jesus Christ here before, so why not?]

Anyway. Not sure if you'll stick around here now that the holiday's over, but I just wanted to let you know I had a great time. And this chocolate is really something else.

[The Easter Bunny]

[And now that that's out of the way....]

If anyone tries any pranks like replacing my coffee's sugar with salt tomorrow, you're going to find hot sauce in your pants. Just fair warning.

Comments

Dictated

[deltacain]

Sounds fair.

[encryptedlock]

[Not a voice he's heard before, but that never stopped York before.]

Well, you can never tell with April Fools Day. I figure it's better to be safe than sorry.

[deltacain]

Yeah? What examples of "sorry"?

[David assumes this guy's been here for a while.]

[encryptedlock]

[A wise assumption.]

There was one time someone put plastic wrap on the toilets so nothing could get in. Messy.

[deltacain]

That person sounds like an evil genius.

[David sounds impressed.]

I'm David, by the way. Professor David Webb.

[encryptedlock]

Freelancer Agent York, UNSC. Most people just call me York. First April in the castle?

[Considering the name isn't familiar, it's probably like first day or two in the castle.]

[deltacain]

UNSC? [Sounds like a government organisation. Not one Webb's heard of before.]

And, yeah. First everything here. Still trying to convince myself this isn't a dream. People spouting magic when I first got here doesn't help.

[encryptedlock]

United Nations Space Command, 26th century. [Not the UN Security Council.]

Heh. Yeah, it can be rough for the first couple days, if you've never seen anything like it before. Just try to keep an open mind and it'll help a lot. If it gets too weird, you can always let off some steam down in the City Royale, too.

[deltacain]

26th Century? So, there's magic and time travel?

[Open mind. Geez. His mind feels blown apart.]

Got it. Open mind. Right.

[encryptedlock]

Well, unless it was already the end of March wherever you were before, that shouldn't come as too much of a surprise.

[York chuckles.] It can be a lot to take in, I know. But it's not so bad once you get used to it.

[deltacain]

A lot of this is a surprise. And tell that to my headache.

I might need to write some of this down.

[encryptedlock]

Well, the journal does record everything for you, so that can help. And if you're not comfortable with magical wished-up aspirin? There's a clinic on the second floor that always has someone on staff.

[deltacain]

You can wish for stuff?

[This may have been glossed over.]

And I know the clinic pretty intimately by now.

[encryptedlock]

...Yeah. Kind of good to know. You can wish for pretty much anything, as long as it's specific and not anything dangerous. Like, oh, you can wish up a beer right now if you want.

[deltacain]

How specific can I be? Like, if I wish for a pack of specific brand cigarettes, will they just magically appear out of nowhere?

[Sorta skeptical tone.]

[encryptedlock]

Give it a try and see.

[Which is to say, as a general rule? Yes, yes you can.]

[deltacain]

Alright then. Uh. I wish for a pack of 20 Marlboro Reds... And a lighter.

[A small pause as said tobacco products appear out of nowhere.]

Jesus Christ...

[originalcopy]

You know, that almost sounds like a challenge.

/because we need this CR

[savethedarkness]

Oh for Godsakes. That is coming right up, isn't it. [M does not sound impressed]

Well, if nothing else, I appreciate the warning.

This guy

[thatrabbitsdynamite]

...You sound familiar. [That's his way of saying hello]

And you're welcome, mate. You're right, it's about time you lot had a decent holiday. [Without...you know. ISSUES]

Looks like I'll be around for as long as the castle wants me.

[encryptedlock]

[This just gets a chuckle. The castle can be awfully surprising at times, if you're new here.]

Lather, rinse, and repeat. Just about everything you can think of, you can wish up here.

[encryptedlock]

Uh-huh. Just remember, Church, I know how to disable your armor.

yus

[encryptedlock]

[...Something about her tone actually makes York blink and go into "talking to a superior officer" mode.]

Afraid it is, ma'am. Sip before you drink, taste before you eat, and all that.

The Friggin Easter Bunny

[encryptedlock]

[Whoa, he actually answered. York taps his fingers on the surprisingly tasty chocolate egg he'd found in his room earlier.]

I think I thought you were a therapy rabbit a couple weeks ago. Sorry about that. I wasn't really in my right mind.

Anyway, I sure appreciate it. I mean, I don't want to sound like some ignorant adult or anything, but do we leave carrots or anything...?

[savethedarkness]

[now that's a tone she likes hearing, even from total strangers. bonus points for you, York.]

And check your doors before you walk through. Had a man coat my office doorway in cellophane wrap once.