[05] Written

[brohoof]

[Jane Crocker and Roxy Lalonde]

Check in. Now.

[/End Filter]

Things I've learned in the last month or so.

Temporal shenanigans are bullshit.

This castle is fucked up and loves screwing with everything you decide to do.

When your friend tries telling you to go out and make friends, don't listen to her because you will got locked in a movie theater.

Earthquakes are awesome.

And by awesome I mean completely fuckin' annoying. Protip: don't be anywhere near anything electrical when one occurs.
You will fuckin' regret it and have a beautiful burn to show for it.
Wherever you got shocked and wherever the fuck it decides to exit.
Y'know, unless you get unlucky and it decides to pass through your chest.
Guess I'm lucky.

What I've learned-
An essay by Dirk Strider

Personally I'd give it a B+, but that's just me.

Yeah so with that said, I'm capable of helping now. Where am I needed?
I would imagine there are people way worse off than me.
Somebody point me in a fuckin' direction, because I was out for most of it.

Comments

Dictated; Filtered to Dirk

[cyan_maid]

[When she sees the first words, she's flooded with relief. Dirk is okay! He's really okay. And then she reads the rest of it.

She doesn't have time to grab a pen before she says,]

Dirk Strider, what in heaven's name were you doing that got you an electrical burn in the first place?????

[Lack of details would get that essay a D+ at best, by the way, but that's her personal opinion.]

Dictated and filtered all the way

[brohoof]

Robotics.

[A beat. He knows that isn't going to fly, and he also knows that if he tells her what he was working on, she's just going to feel guilty. But there's practically no way he can get away with telling her at this point, so he just sucks it up and speaks again.]

I was working on Anna.

Yup yup

[cyan_maid]

[There is a sharp breath on this side, and a lengthy pause. There's a lot going through Jane's head right now, and hearing that it was Anna who had put her friend in danger just made it worse. She wasn't sure if she was angry that, somehow, all of his troubles centered around her, or if she was sorry.

It kind of feels like both.]

...Oh. Uh. Okay.

You should...probably focus on getting better yourself, don't you think? Is there anything I can do to help? [And then, a little bitterly because she can't help but let it slip out,] You know, something that won't hurt you?

[brohoof]

[He was waiting for that. He expected there to be silence and then a blow up. Somehow that would've been easier to take than what he's received, which is just the bitterness.]

I'm fine, Jane. But it wasn't the robot that hurt me, it was the circumstances outside the robot. Everything would have been fine if the earthquake hadn't happened.

And besides, good time to make friends, ain't it?

[cyan_maid]

[She's trying hard not to blow up - really, really hard, because the aftermath of something like this is a terrible time to do so. She's been trying so hard to keep other people calm, and she's been so worried...!]

I - I know. I know that. It just...I don't...you know. I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble.

[She can't even manage a chuckle at that, but she can manage a little wry sarcasm.] Oh, yes, positively timely.

[brohoof]

[Dirk lets out a sigh. She can't see it, but he's shaking his head. His response comes a few seconds later, and when he speaks, his voice is softer than it normally is.]

You don't cause me trouble, Jane. Do you have any idea how important you are to me? I was doing it to make you happy. I'd fuckin' do it over again because fixing this robot for you is important to me. I have no regrets, and you shouldn't feel bad.

[cyan_maid]

Don't you know how important you are to me? I'd be happier if you didn't get hurt!

[Oh, that was loud. That was a little loud. She sighs, and is quiet for a while.]

...I'm sorry.

[brohoof]

[Again, there's some silence.]

I don't know what you expect from me, Jane. You want me to give up robotic, in the off chance that something happens here that causes it to shock me again? Not gonna happen. I refuse to let this place ruin one of my hobbies.

[cyan_maid]

No, that's not what I meant at all!

You got hurt because you were doing something for me - that shouldn't have to happen!

[brohoof]

... You want me to stop doing things for you in the off chance I get hurt doing them? Jane, do you hear yourself? If you could bake, would you stop fuckin' baking for people just because you might accidentally burn yourself on the oven?

[cyan_maid]

I never said you had to stop, or that I wanted you to stop!

[There is another sigh, and a soft thud. It is very possible that head has met desk.]

Can't I just feel bad that I find myself the cause of your trouble? Can't I just be sorry it happened?

[brohoof]

No, because you're being sorry for things that you have no reason to be sorry for, because you aren't the cause of my trouble! I refuse to let you be sorry for things that aren't actually true.

[Head desk all you want, he's not going to lighten up on this.]

[cyan_maid]

And just how in Paradisa are you going to do that?

[You don't control how sorry she feels, buster.]

[brohoof]

By... making you stop!

1/2

[cyan_maid]

[What.]

2/2

[cyan_maid]

[That...was not what she expected.]

I don't think anybody can actually make someone stop being sorry, Dirk. It isn't a thing that can be done.

[brohoof]

[Don't question him Jane, he's just being the complete epitome of mature.]

How do you know? I could try.

I could... I could...

[Fuck he doesn't know what he's saying anymore. But this situation is dire, okay.]

Tickle it out of you. Yeah.

1/2

[cyan_maid]

[...]

2/2

[cyan_maid]

[...There's a stifled, snorty kind of laugh.]

You'll tickle it out of me?

[brohoof]

[Well he wasn't expecting her to laugh just yet... And he feels kind of awkward as fuck right now, but he figures it's kind of worth it to make her laugh and feel better, so he's just going to keep at it.]

Yeah. You doubting my tickling abilities? I can fuckin' promise you they're almost as good as my ass kickin' abilities.

[cyan_maid]

Oh! Oh, no, I don't doubt them at all, hoo hoo! I just never suspected you to be one for tickle fights!

[brohoof]

I am a man of many talents. Never underestimate me, Jane. Never. Underestimate me.

[God he's being so silly that it hurts.]

So where are you so I can bring the pain? And by pain I mean the tickling, if that wasn't clear.

[cyan_maid]

[She's chuckling now!]

Surely you don't really intend on a tickle attack, do you?

[brohoof]

[Good. That was definitely the plan.]

I think in this case, you've earned it enough that it won't completely and utterly destroy my cool. So yes, Jane.

I'm going to give you a tickle attack.

[cyan_maid]

[Now this is something she's gotta see. Experience. Whatever.

A little light prank might be clicking together in her head, too. Why not?]

You do realize that I now expect you to put your money where your mouth is! I'm in my room, and there I'll stay!