[05] Written

[brohoof]

[Jane Crocker and Roxy Lalonde]

Check in. Now.

[/End Filter]

Things I've learned in the last month or so.

Temporal shenanigans are bullshit.

This castle is fucked up and loves screwing with everything you decide to do.

When your friend tries telling you to go out and make friends, don't listen to her because you will got locked in a movie theater.

Earthquakes are awesome.

And by awesome I mean completely fuckin' annoying. Protip: don't be anywhere near anything electrical when one occurs.
You will fuckin' regret it and have a beautiful burn to show for it.
Wherever you got shocked and wherever the fuck it decides to exit.
Y'know, unless you get unlucky and it decides to pass through your chest.
Guess I'm lucky.

What I've learned-
An essay by Dirk Strider

Personally I'd give it a B+, but that's just me.

Yeah so with that said, I'm capable of helping now. Where am I needed?
I would imagine there are people way worse off than me.
Somebody point me in a fuckin' direction, because I was out for most of it.

Comments

[vampirize]

Electric burn, huh? Mind I ask what it was that burned you?

[brohoof]

I was wrist deep in the guts of a robot trying to figure out what the problem with it was. I nudged some wires and it shocked the shit out of me and knocked me out for a while.

[vampirize]

A robot?

[Oh, the intrigue in his voice is definitely there.]

What sort of robot?

[brohoof]

It's kind of a long story.

[But he takes in a breath and launches into it, trying to keep it semi abridged.]

My friend's loss is the ability to bake, so for Christmas when she was in a coma, I decided to make her a baking bot. Life-size, mind you. Not anything puny and short. Looks like her, acts like her, bakes like her. Worked fine for... Fuck, I dunno. Maybe a week? Then just stopped with no reason to it. I figured it was because the castle got pissy that I was circumventing her loss. So I was fixing it, trying to turn it into something more useful than a hunk of metal that doesn't want to do it's primary programming. I figured I'd add some weaponry and shit to turn it into an attack bot for some extra defense.

[vampirize]

Hmm.

[He listens with interest, mind already turning over the possibilities of why it malfunctioned.]

I see. I'm just asking because I'm an inventor, myself. In fact, I could help you with your problem if it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

[brohoof]

I appreciate the offer, but I don't think it would do much good. See, it works perfectly fine for me. Does everything it's programmed to do and then some. But for her? It just doesn't work. All I can figure is this place just doesn't want her to bake.

[But he is interested now, and so after a brief pause, he continues.]

What kind of stuff do you make?

[vampirize]

Oh. [A slight tsk.] Must be her loss, then. The castle has a way of doing things like that.

[TIME FOR NIKOLA TESLA BRAGGING TIME]

All sorts of things, honestly. And I've invented things that the current modern world wouldn't be working without. Alternating current, the rotating magnetic field, the radio...that was all me.

[brohoof]

[As Dirk listens, he raises his eyebrows in surprise. If what this guy is saying is true, well... Color him goddamn impressed. Holy shit.]

Are you serious? What's your name?

[vampirize]

Nikola Tesla.

...

You have heard of me, where you come from?

[brohoof]

[Oh. He knew this all sounded familiar. He feels stupid for not having put it together before now. Fucking Nikola Tesla. The guy might be a little outdated by Dirk's time, but he's still the reason for a lot of the shit Dirk can do.]

Ahah... Holy shit. Of course I fuckin' have. I just wasn't expecting this at all. You're like the fucking reason I can do the shit I do.

[Can you hear the admiration in his voice?]