6 Famiglie~ [Accidentally Dictated]

[is_mafia]

[Giotto had woken up and he had known something was wrong immediately when he had looked at his hands and had seen the words on his knuckles and the familiar number on the palm of his hand. He had discovered his eye and the crest on his head a few minutes later, along with the blood flecks that bled through his clothes. Giotto had tried to scrub it all off, but it had stubbornly stayed imprinted on his skin. All he could think of was the castle had done this, and checking the journal, he found out that he wasn't the only one.

Currently he was trying to get dressed, and his clothes seemed to never fix, no matter what he did to them. His shirt stubbornly stayed wrinkled, his hair a mess, and red pinpricks of blood kept seeping through his shirt. His mismatched eyes stared back at him, and his hands shook as he tried to fix his tie (the eye seemed familiar, but he couldn't seem to place it). How had it even known exactly what his regrets and shames were? He didn't advertise it, he wouldn't admit to half of these things. It unnerved him, that a castle had this much power, to send him trembling and full of guilt and shame.

He couldn't even stand to look at himself right now. Angrily and feeling helpless, he kicked the mirror hard, cracking it.]

Damn it.

[He cut across to his desk, leaving the mirror, and quickly dictated a filter.]


I'm sorry, bambino, but I don't think we're going to have lessons today. [Tsuna couldn't, and shouldn't have to, see him like this.]

Comments

[not_mafia]

[A sniff, and he just clings to Giotto. There's a pressure behind his stinging eyes and he hates it and wishes it would just go away.]

[is_mafia]

[Giotto soothingly rubs his back.] You will be all right. You're still young, you have a whole life ahead of you. Don't try to do everything at once.

[not_mafia]

[He buries his face into Giotto's shoulder at that and gives a whiny, slightly wobbly 'Mmhmm' in response. He feels like a little kid right now. A scared and worried little kid.]

[is_mafia]

[All Giotto could do was hold him and provide that silent comfort. His words don't seem to be doing much to comfort him, so he'll just offer physical comfort instead.]

[not_mafia]

[Bless this kid he is trying so hard not to cry.]

M'sorry...

[He tries to pull back and away, so he can pull himself together.]

[is_mafia]

Don't be sorry, bambino. It's all right. [It's all right to cry. He lets him move away, but not too far, keeping a hold on him.]

[not_mafia]

[A small smile, though the stinging doesn't seem as bad anymore.

Certainly not when something catches his eye, and he notices the cracked mirror in the corner.]

...huh?

[is_mafia]

[...Oh, damn it. He plays it off lightly.] I'm going to need a new mirror after this.

[not_mafia]

Is that what I heard over the journal?

[is_mafia]

...Yes. I can have quite the temper. [That wasn't the entire reason, but it was a good part of it.]

[not_mafia]

[A sigh and he pulls away, grabbing Giotto's hands and inspecting them, more for the distraction than anything.]

Jeez, you're sure you didn't hurt yourself, Gio...

[And then he trails off when he's turned over Giotto's hand. Seventy-two? ..no, he was looking at it side-- ...]

... what?

[is_mafia]

...Ah. [He attempts to close his hand to hide that, but the damage is probably already done. Tsuna's number was printed on his palm, his guilt plain for how Tsuna's life has turned out, and how he is always in danger because of what Giotto had created. He had never wanted this life for his children, why would he have wanted it for his grandchildren, either? And yet, Tsuna had been forced into it.]

[not_mafia]

[For a moment he doesn't understand. He wonders for a second, that maybe, maybe this was because of his uselessness, that Giotto had been hiding some resentment for him, but-- no, he trusts him more than that. Giotto had been too kind to him to think of him like that.

He bites his lip a little. He doesn't force Giotto's hand open-- they both knew it was there anyway-- but he does grab it gently and squeeze it, his gaze slowly coming up to Giotto.]

Why?

[is_mafia]

[Giotto doesn't meet his eyes, looking instead right over his head.] Because my mistakes have become your burden.

[not_mafia]

[He looks into that mismatched gaze, even if he's not looking back at him, before he steps forward and wraps his arms around him again. The embrace isn't desperate, it's warm and compassionate.]

[is_mafia]

[Giotto freezes at that simple hug. Was that Tsuna's way of saying that he was forgiven for that? Or was Tsuna simply trying to comfort him, in a way he knew how to?

Either way, Giotto wrapped his arms back around him, resting his chin on Tsuna's head.]

[not_mafia]

I don't blame you, you know. I never have.

... and I already told you this before. I don't regret what's happened. I really mean that. I've met amazing people, and I've pushed myself farther than I ever would have because of the mafia. [A pause, before he admits this.] Even if I don't want to join it or become a boss because it scares me, it's made me a better person, I think. And my life's become a lot better for it.

If anything... I should be thanking you.

[is_mafia]

...I'm not sure if you should be thanking me for being responsible for the thing that constantly puts you in danger.

[not_mafia]

Ah-- I'm thanking you for the thing that's given me my friends. [That's given him his life.]

[is_mafia]

You say that now... [He shakes his head, still not meeting his eyes.] I used to think that too.

Until I started to lose them. Until it started to take them away. [And it was all his fault.]

[not_mafia]

Giotto...

[Tsuna's head bows a bit at that. He's quiet for a moment, before:]

No, I... I won't let that happen. I can't let that happen.

[is_mafia]

Then you are far better than I am. [He let Elena die, Daemon go mad, Cozart walk away... He gently ruffles Tsuna's hair, smiling sadly down on him.]

Don't be like me, Tsuna. Don't let your friends go.

[not_mafia]

[He can see the pain in Giotto's eyes when he says that, and it crushes him. That woman... Elena had been killed, and then Daemon had tried to make Giotto cold and ruthless, and then he could never see Cozarto again. That's what the eye was for, wasn't it? He blamed himself for Cozarto's self-exile...]

... maybe they'll come to Paradisa. And you could make things right with them here.

[is_mafia]

[He gives him a small, sad smile.] ...You are very optimistic, did you know that? Or perhaps your life has been luckier than mine. I hold no illusions that I will ever see them again.

[not_mafia]

Well, I know I've met at least one person that I never thought I would. [A small smile up at him.] It's not impossible. And just because you're the only one here from home from your time doesn't mean it'll stay that way. I was the only one from home from my time for a few months before some of my friends started showing up.