Sixty Fifth Sip

[mal_addict]

It seems like you lot are going out on another expedition. That's nice for you, try not to die and all that. Anyway, I can't go out there due to...reasons [ones that might make her snap and murder everyone the second they step back into a powered zone after being out of one for days] so I need you people going to do something for me.

You might recall last time, James Watson decided to bring back one of the birds that tried to kill you all. I'm sure most of you agree that this was a really bloody stupid idea and don't want it repeated. He'll be going on the this expedition, and so to keep your sanity and limbs intact, I have written this up, to aid you in stopping him from making your trip a possible death trap.

A LIST OF THINGS JAMES WATSON IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO ON THE EXPEDITION

* Bring back any living thing. Even if it looks harmless. Even if it doesn't have any teeth or claws. This is Paradisa and chances are if it looks harmless it's likely deadly.
* Bring back any dead thing.
* Touch something unusual without protective wear on. Gloves, and the like. Preferably a long stick.
* Lick anything that isn't food.
* Keep anything in camp to 'study'. He'll say he'll release it later. He won't. Don't believe him and his scientist lies.
* Go into the nests of things and take away eggs.
* Feed anything tea.

If you can make sure he follows these core rules, I'll be greatful. Oh, and if you needed any extra incentive, bear in mind if you die in the dead zone, you die forever. No come backs. Just something you ought to bear in mind.

Comments

dictated;

[panicswitched]

.... Party pooper.

dictated

[unnaturalpause]

I don't lick things, Maladict, that's more a Nikola habit. [He sounds insulted.]

[psych0p0mps]

whatever happened to that bird thing anyway

forever!

[mal_addict]

I'd rather there be no corpses coming back.

forever!

[mal_addict]

Better safe than sorry.

I note you don't deny the rest of the things I listed.

[mal_addict]

He put it somewhere, I don't even want to know where.

[panicswitched]

I'm going. There won't be any.

[ sulking? her? nope. never. ]

[unnaturalpause]

And giving anything tea, really it's precious enough out there. [Grumble grumble, going to sit here and point at that list as he goes.] You do realize that studying those things out there isn't as thorough as if I bring them back, yes?

[WHY ARE YOU RUINING HIS FUN?]

[psych0p0mps]

hmm i dont think ive seen it in the stables
itd probably scare all the other animals to death

[and now here comes fridge logic 0u0]

hey do you think it could crossbreed with a chocobo

[unnaturalpause]

It has a pen out near the woods, away from everything, for precisely that reason.

[Wait wait a minute...]

Are those the yellow feathery things?

[psych0p0mps]

oh ok
and yeah they are
i mean not to let them do it however they normally do it
cause that would be kind of mean to the chocobo
but if you crossed their genetics what would come out of it

[unnaturalpause]

Probably some abomination of a killer ostrich with yellow feathers. [But then because it's James...] If it worked at all, cross-world genetics and the like being what they are, I doubt anything would occur. Not that it'd be a good idea to start with.

[mal_addict]

Good, I trust you to keep him from being...well, him.

[She loves James like a father Ashley, please keep him alive :<]

[mal_addict]

I wouldn't put it past you.

And yes, I do realise this. And if you haven't figured it out already: I don't care.

[Because your fun will eat other people :|]

[mal_addict]

NO.

[unnaturalpause]

You should be talking to your fiancee, not me about this. I know it's not a good idea.

[unnaturalpause]

Would you rather I grow bored and do what Nikola does?

[The goat doesn't...]

[psych0p0mps]

well i dont know
the castle can make viable offspring from humans and trolls even though our biology is totally different
but yeah its probably not a good idea i was just curious

[unnaturalpause]

Yes but those are done using other means, whatever the castle can do. [He's allergic to the word magic, so excuse the lack of it in there.] But yes, nothing good I imagine, but I can understand curiosity.

[mal_addict]

I can control what Nikola does. Don't think I won't do the same to you.

[It's only a matter of time]

[mal_addict]

He's not going to make any new freaks of nature.

placeholder-ish

[inafadingcrown]

[Written in an old fashioned, elegant script.]

-wander into potentially deadly areas without informing another member of the expedition
-perform reckless "investigations" of aforementioned deadly areas. I will leave the definition of "reckless" to your judgement.
-return with anything he will later ask me to look after

[ dictated ]

[peacockherald]

I assure you we shall try out best, but I fear he might find dire encouragement from one to many of the others.

[workaphilic]

Can't make promises.

[He likes dead things, too, man.]

[mal_addict]

I approve of all of these additions.