Sixty Fifth Sip

[mal_addict]

It seems like you lot are going out on another expedition. That's nice for you, try not to die and all that. Anyway, I can't go out there due to...reasons [ones that might make her snap and murder everyone the second they step back into a powered zone after being out of one for days] so I need you people going to do something for me.

You might recall last time, James Watson decided to bring back one of the birds that tried to kill you all. I'm sure most of you agree that this was a really bloody stupid idea and don't want it repeated. He'll be going on the this expedition, and so to keep your sanity and limbs intact, I have written this up, to aid you in stopping him from making your trip a possible death trap.

A LIST OF THINGS JAMES WATSON IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO ON THE EXPEDITION

* Bring back any living thing. Even if it looks harmless. Even if it doesn't have any teeth or claws. This is Paradisa and chances are if it looks harmless it's likely deadly.
* Bring back any dead thing.
* Touch something unusual without protective wear on. Gloves, and the like. Preferably a long stick.
* Lick anything that isn't food.
* Keep anything in camp to 'study'. He'll say he'll release it later. He won't. Don't believe him and his scientist lies.
* Go into the nests of things and take away eggs.
* Feed anything tea.

If you can make sure he follows these core rules, I'll be greatful. Oh, and if you needed any extra incentive, bear in mind if you die in the dead zone, you die forever. No come backs. Just something you ought to bear in mind.

Comments

dictated;

[panicswitched]

.... Party pooper.

forever!

[mal_addict]

I'd rather there be no corpses coming back.

[panicswitched]

I'm going. There won't be any.

[ sulking? her? nope. never. ]

[mal_addict]

Good, I trust you to keep him from being...well, him.

[She loves James like a father Ashley, please keep him alive :<]

[panicswitched]

I'll make sure everyone comes back in one piece.

[ she understands that sentiment. no worries, mal. no one will get hurt on her watch. not if she can help it. ]

dictated

[unnaturalpause]

I don't lick things, Maladict, that's more a Nikola habit. [He sounds insulted.]

forever!

[mal_addict]

Better safe than sorry.

I note you don't deny the rest of the things I listed.

[unnaturalpause]

And giving anything tea, really it's precious enough out there. [Grumble grumble, going to sit here and point at that list as he goes.] You do realize that studying those things out there isn't as thorough as if I bring them back, yes?

[WHY ARE YOU RUINING HIS FUN?]

[mal_addict]

I wouldn't put it past you.

And yes, I do realise this. And if you haven't figured it out already: I don't care.

[Because your fun will eat other people :|]

[psych0p0mps]

whatever happened to that bird thing anyway

[mal_addict]

He put it somewhere, I don't even want to know where.

[psych0p0mps]

hmm i dont think ive seen it in the stables
itd probably scare all the other animals to death

[and now here comes fridge logic 0u0]

hey do you think it could crossbreed with a chocobo

[unnaturalpause]

It has a pen out near the woods, away from everything, for precisely that reason.

[Wait wait a minute...]

Are those the yellow feathery things?

placeholder-ish

[inafadingcrown]

[Written in an old fashioned, elegant script.]

-wander into potentially deadly areas without informing another member of the expedition
-perform reckless "investigations" of aforementioned deadly areas. I will leave the definition of "reckless" to your judgement.
-return with anything he will later ask me to look after

[mal_addict]

I approve of all of these additions.

[inafadingcrown]

He is fortunate we care for him, is he not? [What would he do without them?]

[mal_addict]

It really is, otherwise he'd probably have been eaten by something by now.

[ dictated ]

[peacockherald]

I assure you we shall try out best, but I fear he might find dire encouragement from one to many of the others.

forever!

[mal_addict]

He usually does. Just do your best, and that's all I can ask of you.

[peacockherald]

Well, my best you shall have. We might not run into anything we can bring back besides.

[mal_addict]

Still, it doesn't hurt to be careful.

[workaphilic]

Can't make promises.

[He likes dead things, too, man.]

[mal_addict]

I suppose I'll settle for just trying.

[workaphilic]

Trying, I can do. I'll take them from him if necessary.

[Because James never shares! r u d e]

[mal_addict]

Oh good, I'm glad. He might fight you for it, so be prepared.