PARADISA

[Maladict has not been a fan of this world change. Not one bit. The dress had been the first thing to go, luckily her dear 'husband' had clothes she could steal. Clothes that were too big for her, certainly, but at least they weren't dresses with vomit-inducing floral print on them.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the second she stepped outside, one of the neighbours had joked that a "little woman" like herself shouldn't be dressing like that, and whatever flights of fantasy will she get in her silly little head this time? Gosh, Maybe she should scoot back to the kitchen and whip up a nice pot roast.

The neighbour stopped laughing shortly after Maladict inserted a lawn flamingo in a rather unfortunate place on his person and suggested he keep his comments to himself.

And now, Maladict is sitting in the living room, watching the creepy, smiling children who she assumed belonged to her and Nikola by the way they kept calling them "Mom and Pop", hating everything about her current situation]

It's good to know that the castle can always be relied on to make a stupid holiday even stupider every year.

...

Does anyone want some extra children? Mine keep expecting me to feed them or something.

So. It's that time already.

I know it doesn't mean much, in the current state of chaos and whatnot, but I've been here for three Earth years today. It feels like a lot longer.

[She lets out a soft sigh, doodling a turtle on the page, a turtle with four elephants on its back and a round, flat shape resting on their own backs]

So many people I know have been sent home at this point. Some of them have been sent home twice. Makes you wonder when it'll be your turn.

[Maladict is sitting in the Death Match, a cup of blood on the table before her, fresh from the clinic. She's been leaning forward, staring at it intently, before she pulls out her journal to speak into it]

Yesterday was the League of Temperance day...not that that means much to any of you. Hell, I missed it myself, what with being in that Toe-key-oh place and being human and all.

[She runs a finger over the rim of the glass, and she's reminded how easy it would be to just down it. To just give in. She's not been in the best of places recently, but she's somewhat happy to learn that she still doesn't want to give up just yet. That she still wants to be this person she made for herself out of the ashes of her former life. That she's still okay with being her...whoever 'her' is]

Anyway. It's been five years and a day of being on the wagon. Yay me.

[Another pause]

Everyone get out of that mess with the creepy mask guy okay?

[Maladict had assumed Nikola had been on the cruise ship, while she was on the dinosaur island. Probably getting drunk off his stupid face on copious amounts of wine, so she had not allowed herself to worry about him. When she couldn't find him on the ship when they were rescued, a small sliver of it had appeared.

She'd remained in her hotel room for the remainder of that time, the worry only growing with each passing hour. She had no real desire to check out more Earth culture, Paradisa was already saturated with it as it was. She didn't need any more of it. Besides, she should be in one place, just in case. But the just in case never came. So, when she finally slept alone and woke up back in the castle alone she knew something was very, very wrong.

She stars at the empty spot on the bed for a moment, before getting up, getting dressed, delaying the inevitable. Eventually though, she opens the door to their room. Where there were two names, there was no only one. She swears in Borograian, slamming a fist through the wall. She fucking hates this place. She hates it so much. How DARE it make her feel safe to care about someone only to take them away. She leaves then, knowing she can't remain in the castle right now, casting a furtive glance to the door across the hall. It goes to show how much she cares about them that she bothers to leave the filter at all]

( James and Ashley )

( Brock's cabin )

It seems like you lot are going out on another expedition. That's nice for you, try not to die and all that. Anyway, I can't go out there due to...reasons [ones that might make her snap and murder everyone the second they step back into a powered zone after being out of one for days] so I need you people going to do something for me.

You might recall last time, James Watson decided to bring back one of the birds that tried to kill you all. I'm sure most of you agree that this was a really bloody stupid idea and don't want it repeated. He'll be going on the this expedition, and so to keep your sanity and limbs intact, I have written this up, to aid you in stopping him from making your trip a possible death trap.

A LIST OF THINGS JAMES WATSON IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO ON THE EXPEDITION

* Bring back any living thing. Even if it looks harmless. Even if it doesn't have any teeth or claws. This is Paradisa and chances are if it looks harmless it's likely deadly.
* Bring back any dead thing.
* Touch something unusual without protective wear on. Gloves, and the like. Preferably a long stick.
* Lick anything that isn't food.
* Keep anything in camp to 'study'. He'll say he'll release it later. He won't. Don't believe him and his scientist lies.
* Go into the nests of things and take away eggs.
* Feed anything tea.

If you can make sure he follows these core rules, I'll be greatful. Oh, and if you needed any extra incentive, bear in mind if you die in the dead zone, you die forever. No come backs. Just something you ought to bear in mind.

[Maladict has been mostly ignoring the pie mess of yesterday. She doesn't really eat, and she's always got a good supply of coffee, so she just left people complain as they always do. Still, it's got her thinking]

Back home, tomorrow is Samedi Nuit Mort. It translates to 'Saturday Night Dead'. It's one of those holidays the zombies have taken as their own. Something happened in Genua with all that, I believe. I wasn't there, but that's not my point.

[She taps the journal, somewhat impatient as she gets to that illusive point]

I can count on one hand the amount of times this castle has celebrated a holiday from a world other than Earth. And, yes I am aware that Earth is the highest population of residents here, but when you get a holiday all about maths or...pie I'm a little confused as to which one it is, you have to admit it's a little ridiculous.

( James )

So, who wants to join me abstaining from whatever the castle plans to throw at us with this silly little Earth holiday that's coming up? I'm actually considering finding a dank cave somewhere, because I don't think I can handle this place being sickeningly pink again.

[Maladict is frustrated. It's bad enough the castle favours Earth holidays above all others, but now this...idiocy has occurred. She doesn't mind the drinks turning into alcohol, as was the case in other years, because after all, people being drunk at this time of the year on the Disc was fairly regular.

...But this was something else entirely]

Another well spent Hogswatch in this ridiculous place, then. When you people stop being idiots, you'll get your gifts from me.

[Filtered to those who experienced her nightmare]

...This is a long time coming, I know, and I'm [She pauses here, sincerity isn't exactly her strong suit] well, I'm sorry. About the apology itself being late, and for what happened within it. Sort of a double-apology if you will. I've been rather distracted trying to keep sane up until now.

Anyway. I wish I could tell you none of it was real, that it was all a figment of my imagination, but it wasn't. I was that person, a few years ago. I would have killed any one of you and really, truly enjoyed doing it.

...But I'm not that person any more. Or at least...I'm trying not to be. I gave up blood for a reason, after all. I have no desire to go back to that.

I'm really not good at this apologising playing nice thing, so let's just leave it at that before things get awkward, shall we?