paradisa | (no subject)

Entry tags:

stephanie brown

(no subject)

I--I can't find Kara. She went back, to see if she could get people out, but I don't...

I checked the wreck and the clinic. [Let's hope this feeling in her gut is just leftovers from this whole ordeal.]

Kara, you better just be... somewhere here. Respond ASAP, or if anyone's seen her--blonde hair, blue eyes, pretty--let me know.

Bathouse

[It's been a blur since they got back. Journal entry done, Steph's in the bathroom, shirt off and held against her chest. Her back is to the mirror, and she turns this way and that, trying to get a good look at the stab wound Lucrezia left.

How sad is it that a knife in her back is the easiest thing to focus on right now? Cass is somewhere, Tim is somewhere, and there's a whole lot of repairing to do, it feels like. But right now, she just wants to see if she's pulled her stitches.

Didn't they just have to rebuild from an earthquake?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I know.

[Quiet Tim is rarely a good thing. Maybe he's thinking about all the worst possibilities, like she is. It was hard to crawl out of that dark mindset after what felt like forever on that spaceship.

But it was Supergirl. Kara. Everything would be fine.]

Until then... I could use some rest. [And so could he.] Join me?

[Wants to comfort her, except it's like a wall of guilt is stopping him from moving her. He doesn't need her to confirm that he hurt her. It only makes sense that she would try to find him while he was crazed and he'd lash out at her.

Not to mention, it feels wrong to sit here, relaxing and lazing around, while Kara's stuck in space. What if her powers suddenly go out on her? Then what? Tries to generate some ideas on how he can help Kara with the limited resources available to them.]

In a little while, I need to check on a couple of things first.

[She frowns, knowing him all too well. Reflex is to cling, and to ask if she can tag along, but she feels like she's under a boulder. She doubts the potion will take all the weight away.]

Remember how I said I'd give you your space, just as long as you came back here to sleep? This is me doing that. We have to talk. You know that.

[That, and she really just wants a freakin' hug.]

We do, and we will. I just need more time to think.

[Two sides of Tim are at war. Realistically, he knows there's nothing he can do to help Kara for the time being. Their resources are too limited, they are all beaten and exhausted, and the city is still recovering from everything that happened. Hardly anyone is fit enough to put together another expedition to find the source of magic that sent them into space in the first place. The other side of him wants to try, because giving up on a friend is so painful.

To make matters worse, he can't look at Steph without having to fight off nausea from the guilt he's experiencing. He knows she wants to a hug, and damn, does he want to give her one...but the guilt refuses to let him reach out to her. How can he touch her with the same hands that battered her?]

[Usually, she'd just go for it, but she thinks that maybe that would be a better idea once she's chugged the potion and doesn't look like she was hit by a truck. She settles for squeezing his arm with her hand.]

Okay. I'm not going anywhere, so... I'll see you in a bit.

[She'll just go crawl into bed until he gets back, because screw everything else today.]

[Tim spends the next hour and a half generating ideas for future expeditions. Somehow he needs to get back at the crash site and see if he can dig up more information there.

Once he's done with that, he shifts his attention over to the guilt. Stares at his hands, flexing his fingers slowly. Whatever he did to her, it's not enough to make her disgusted with him. If anything, he can tell she's craving physical comfort of her. He needs to make this less about him and more about her. She gave him his time to alone, now he needs to give her something.

Does what Bats are good at and represses his guilt for the time being. Heads into the bedroom, quietly climbing into bed next to her. Wraps his arms around her and places a kiss on the top of her head.]

[She thought it would be easy to sleep once she was off her feet and under the soft blankets, warm and clean-smelling, but it doesn't come despite her exhaustion. So, she gets up, drinks the potion, forces herself to eat some crackers, and makes herself not think about Kara or Black Mask or Lucrezia or Tim. She gets back into bed and thinks about the masquerade. That was fun. They should have more masquerades.

When Tim comes back, for some reason she pretends to have been asleep. It's good to feel his arms around her, and even better to feel him kiss her.]

Are you okay?

No, but I don't think any of us are.

[Just about everyone who wasn't in stasis during their time in space seems to be shaken up.

Draws her in closer to him, hugging her body tightly as he takes note of the empty potion.]

How are you feeling?

[An honest answer is good enough for her. She's not exactly okay, either, worrying about Kara, and him.]

Better. It helped a lot.

[Her fingers carefully rearrange his bangs.]

What do you remember?

Everything clearly up until the second day. I found myself in this chamber that was surrounded by a liquid that looked like water. The gravity in the room suddenly changed and I got dragged through it.

[His voice quiets while he continues.]

After that...my mind completely snapped. I don't remember so much what I did, as much as I remember what I saw when my mind lost touch with reality. [Guilt leaks into his voice.]

I know I hurt you.

[She starts shaking her head before he's done speaking.]

Nuh-uh. No guilt over what happened between us, okay? That wasn't you. It's bad enough remembering whatever it is you saw, but no feeling bad over something you had no control over. I don't allow it.

[This close, it's easy for her to touch their noses together and look into his eyes. It was important that they got this out of the way now.]

[Starts to protest, until he mind wanders off to what happened to Conner before he died. Luthor had flipped a switch in Conner and made him go crazy. His best friend was torn apart by guilt for weeks. Hadn't he tried to say the same thing to Conner, desperately hoping he'd listen?

Also reminds himself of what happened when he became obsessive over bringing Conner back. Superboy Prime stole the technology and DNA he used to clone Conner, and created a mini-army of Superboy clones. All of them were destroyed during the battle, and the blame rested on his shoulders.]

I'll try not to. [He can't promise anything other than that.]

That's all I can ask. [All they could do was try. She hesitates before pressing a brief kiss to his lips, unsure of how receptive he'd be to kissing right now. It was an assurance. Steph didn't trust him any less after what happened.

Actually... that might be a good thing to say.]

Nothing's different between you and me. I still love you like [CRAZY...]--before, and I still trust you, too.

Are you sure? If you're uncomfortable in any way, I understand. [Realizes the assurance is more for himself than her, since nothing in her body language, tone, eye contact, or wording suggests otherwise. He doesn't return the kiss, but he does give her a proper hug.]

[She figures.]

No, no. Not at all. I'm just so happy you're back to normal. [You know, not wailing and sobbing and breaking her heart all over the place.

She buries her face into his shoulder, hugging him.]

I'd really like to have a week where everything doesn't go to hell.

[The two of them have at least been trained to deal with these kind of stressful situations and have built up mental resiliency. Can only imagine what it's like for some of the newer residents who are not used to this sort of thing.

Runs his fingers along her back and through her hair, hoping to offer her some additional comfort.]

No kidding. [Her response is muffled, but she decides to keep her face where it is because she can't stop the grimace as his fingers run over the spot where her stab wound used to be. She doesn't want to talk about Lucrezia right now.

Once she's able to get that look off her face, she pulls back to look at his with a small smile.]

That was a new level of worry, for me. Congrats, I'm that into you.

Yay? [Smirks briefly for a moment, wishing she could say something like that to him under better circumstances.

However, the smirk does give way to a softer smile and he brings his hand up to her face.]

After all of this, I don't think there's anything that could make me stop loving you.

I think I'm the one who is supposed to say that, no?

[Seeing him smile is a relief. Steph knows she's not the smartest, fastest, or strongest, but she does think she's pretty damn good at comforting her loved ones. It killed her to be unable to do that for him on the ship, even if he wasn't himself. He sounded like Tim, and that was enough.]

But I'm glad that stuffing you into a closet isn't a deal-breaker.

[Too soon?]

You stuffed me in a closet? [Blinks a couple of times.] That explains the darkness I was terrified of.

[... oops.]

More like placed you in a closet. It was the safest place for you.

With everything that was going on, I believe it. [Glances down at his ankles.]

Is that why my ankles hurt so much? I had several bruises all over them and my shins.

It's possible. I don't know. [She can barely remember what she did to him in that fight. Maybe it was Cass, or someone else, or himself.]

I don't know what I would have done without Cass and Kara. They really saved the day.

Kara would probably be upset with us for worrying so much about her. [Thinks back to the conversation he had with her, when he didn't want her to go on the expedition because of her lack of powers.]

She'd tell us she's survived worse and has it covered.

Space is her thing. [Nods.]