Rose: Regret being a Junior Crazy Cat Lady

[fluthlu]

[Shortly before 2:00 PM on Friday afternoon is a very bad time to be an innocent captive of Paradisa, perusing the journal after lunch - or in the middle of the night, for the more nocturnal residents. A very bad time indeed, because quite a ways away from the castle, on a small nightstand next to Rose's small outpost bed, a cat named Constance is doing one of the things that cats do best:

Vomiting on an inappropriate surface. Namely, a page of the open journal.]

Blrckkk.

... Oh, really now, Constance. That was hardly polite. [Her voice grows louder as she moves across the room towards the journal.] Deepest apologies, truly. My cat seems to have a frightening proficiency for consuming inedible matter - an equally proficient aim, as well, depending on how one looks at things.

... While I've gotten your attention, however crudely, does anyone have sufficient experience in troubleshooting a sewing machine, in a manner of speaking?

Comments

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

[There is an unhappy, disgusted groan on this side of the journal.]

What in heavens did Constance get into? I don't think I have the stomach to parse this mess myself...

[fluthlu]

[An apologetic little hum.]

Toothpaste, I'm afraid. She lives the dangerous life.

[cyan_maid]

[Well that explains the stench.]

Dangerous indeed! Right on the wild side, I'd venture.

[fluthlu]

Absolutely irrepressible. Constance simply "can't be tamed".

[As she speaks she is doing her best to clean the surface of the page, but there's little that Lysol can do for something that's absorbent.

Also yes she just quoted a Miley Cyrus song.]

[cyan_maid]

[Hey, Jane won't judge.]

It might be best to squirrel away anything inedible. Who knows what could be puked on next?

[fluthlu]

Oh, I certainly will. Though I'm impressed at her ability to hone in on the worst target first. No other item in the outpost has the ability to project vomit to a hundred other innocent residents.

[cyan_maid]

Perhaps that's for the best, though! Just think, if there were more items of that caliber of power, the cat vomit would be never ending!

Er, now that I think about it, that's definitely not the most pleasant of thoughts.

[fluthlu]

An unpleasant notion, yet disgustingly common for cat owners across the universe.

[cyan_maid]

Or those who are oh so fortunate enough to share close quarters with feline visitors.

[kethedammit]

Why'd you need to shoot a sewing machine? Why'd you need help?

[fluthlu]

Oh, it's dreadfully injured. It asked that I put it out of its misery. Quite the moral quandary, in fact.

[She can't resist. But she drops the sarcasm and gives him a real answer after a moment.]

To "troubleshoot" simply means to iron out a problem.

[kethedammit]

[Faintly, Mildmay can be heard laughing.] Okay, gotcha. I was gonna say, shit, honey, how bad could your aim be?

[fluthlu]

[That puts a small, audible smile in her voice. This boy seems agreeable.]

A tragic misunderstanding that would have been. I've often found my aim to be nearly flawless.

[kethedammit]

But not to brag or nothing, right?

[fluthlu]

Oh, I would never!

[She definitely is.]

[kethedammit]

'Course not. So what you making that's so big you need a machine for it?

[fluthlu]

Nothing too intimidating. Merely a skirt, actually.

[psych0p0mps]

constance noooo :(
why would you do this thing

[fluthlu]

She apparently did not read the warnings on the back of the toothpaste tube.
I expected better of her.

[psych0p0mps]

rose she is only a little cat
it will be some time yet before she can read on that level

[fluthlu]

Hopefully not too long.
I had planned to start her on Dick and Jane by August.

[psych0p0mps]

whats dick and jane

[fluthlu]

A series of vaguely educational books designed to aid in the acquisition of reading skills in young children.
No relation to our friend Jane.

[psych0p0mps]

ahh ok i was wondering if you meant dirk and jane
but you are not exactly prone to typos! :p

[yet]

[fluthlu]

[Shh she's getting there]

No, certainly not them.
Although their names do bear a bit of an uncanny resemblance.