001 ⚡ dictacted/written

[anytime]

[There's a crinkling of paper and a voice fades in, low and caught mid-word.]

—ittle black book with my name on it and it's been used like a rented mule. Holy shit, is the only blank page seriously in the front. Are you fuckin' kidding me. Only a single blank page. What if I need it for my raps.

[There's more rustling as the voice keeps mumbling over it, growing closer and further away at random intervals. Then the journal lapses into silence for thirty-one seconds, save for the occasional scuff of a sneaker.]

Dude. Is that a ghost. Like a ghost-ghost, not a dream bubble ghost. Why are there ghosts. Are ghosts even a thing that actually exist? Dammit, I should have asked Rose. Where the hell did she go, anyway. And whose memory did I waltz into, 'cause we got this dance set in triple time and my partner is MIA. Seriously, Terezi is missing a perfect opportunity to make Karkat froth with rage. Haha, that loser.

...Whoa, ok, that's a big-ass chandelier. I guess whoever's dream this is, they are motherfuckin' loaded.

[A door closes and the journal cuts off. It's silent for four minutes and thirteen seconds, until it pops open with a thunk.]

—esus christ, who even needs a kitchen this big. That's it, I'm going upstair—

[The journal cuts out again. It opens sixteen minutes and two seconds later.]

Oh my god, this room's acoustics are horrendously beautiful. Can I throw a rave here. Just bust a move and slam with some glowsticks before we get shuttled back into the tentaloving embrace of whichever horrorterror glubbed this bubble. Come to think of it, should I be more worried about misplacing the meteor. What if it takes off into the eldritchy void without me. That would suck. But whatever, I'm a time trave—

[The journal shuts and only opens one hour and eleven minutes later.]

—even needs a library with three floors. Besides Rose and other snooty bookshrews. It's goddamn superfluous, especially when this shithole doesn't even have elevators. Hell, I'd settle for an escalator right about now and I can fly. Wait up, is that Rose—

[And then, even later, he amends in red ink:]

raps

this situation be inextricably inexplicable
some kinda abduction by a castle uncongenial
there goes the white van muthafucks GODDAMN
ransom notes grubbed up by my mitts
cant trace this so the fbi be throwin fits
my masterpiece is gettin ill enough that discretion is erroneous
diction be the PLAGUE motherfucker
fever high and third degree unconscionable
aint no zombie unalive would stand for these brains to liquify
shits dropped motherfuckin white hot to testify weak revise
lets pitch this shit down in rhyme
like a tent i staked in yo backyard
gonna camp out tonight cause this picket be GOD DAMN LOW
suffragettes impressed to stress by my sicknasty protest
like its my best bros bday all over again
which it kind of is
oh snap

[ooc: God, I'm so sorry about the length. Quirk opt out if you need it is here!]

Comments

written

[nukeoleptic]

whoah :o
it is a work of art, dave

written

[anytime]

what
wait
uh
goddammit those werent ready for public consumption
this shits a work in progress
cant be spreadin it around unedited you hear

written

[nukeoleptic]

i am sorry, dave!
you are doing all of the spreading yourself
that sweet rap is now privy to the castle at large

written

[anytime]

oh
welp
i didnt even have a fly beat its not right to put something this rough up for criticism
couldnt even get into like
a freestyle zone
see if i share anymore of my creative genius with you you pos black book

[kethedammit]

Yeah, I ain't never seen that many books before. Who d'you think reads all of 'em?

[anytime]

No one. That's three floors of bullshit nobody needs. I don't think even Rose could read all of them if she dedicated her life, body, and soul to their pages.

[kethedammit]

Somebody's gotta. They seriously don't make the place pretty... or clean.

[anytime]

They're a safety hazard, that's what they are. Just imagine if the fungus of fifty-thousand books went unchecked. We'd be up to our necks in black mold.

Written

[cyan_maid]

Well, bust my buttons!
The castle's sent you home and brought you back already? What a turn around!
If only it was half as kind with everyone else it's taken away.

JANE

[rogueofheart]

:33 < wait he was gone?
:33 < g33z what else did i miss

NEPETA

[cyan_maid]

Not too much! Not really!
There were babies for a while, that's one of the bigger things.
And I threw a party.

Written

[anytime]

the castle just couldnt handle going without this genuine strider flesh
but ok so you know past me
or future me
i dont know what kind of time shenanigans am i looking at here

Written

[cyan_maid]

Well, simply put, you were here in the castle's past.
Right now is the castle's present.
I don't know if the you I met is your future or your past, though, which I suppose makes all this simplifying a moot point.

[1nc0mpr3h3n751bl3]

D1D Y0U P17CH 4 73N7
HAAHAHA
N1C3 5L4M 8UDDY

[anytime]

i pitched the most fucking extravagant tent youve ever dreamed let alone seen
and now i almost feel bad for being able to decipher that mess

[Dictated instead]

[1nc0mpr3h3n751bl3]

Fuuuuuuuuck be gentle it'th my firtht time with a monkeyhuman!
Ith that better?

[rogueofheart]

:33 < welcome back to purradisa dave

[anytime]

hell yes
oh hang on
i think i remember that color
well not from here but back before
youre the role playing cat girl right

[rogueofheart]

:33 < yes thats me!
:33 < im glad that a cool kid like you remembers me

[kid_apocalypse]

Dave? Dave! Man, is it ever good to hear your voice again!

Oh! Umm...you probably don't remember me, do you? My name's Evan. We sparred once or twice when you were here before.

[anytime]

Yeah, the name isn't setting off any alarms. No fire here.

I heard I was around until like a few days ago, though.

[kid_apocalypse]

Yeah I didn't figure. We weren't real well-acquainted even when you were here. We sparred a few months ago, I think it was.

[psych0p0mps]

well sheesh that was fast
hi again dave

[anytime]

sup
if theres one thing youve gotta admit
its that my timing is fucking impeccable

[psych0p0mps]

to be honest id be more impressed if i didnt know it was completely random :p