paradisa | Twenty Nine Truffula Trees

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the once-ler

Twenty Nine Truffula Trees

[It has been some weeks since the Once-ler could play his guitar, the broken ribs he'd received during the Event Horizon mess had made it too painful. But now he's healed enough, he's making the most of it. He's sitting on his clinic bed, his journal open beside him, playing one of the many songs he's learned since arriving here. After he's finished, he lets out a satisfied sort of sigh]

I missed that. [Oh right, open journal] Any requests? I'm out of practise. I can't promise I'll know it, but I'll give it a shot.

[Lucrezia]
[He'd asked for time, and it's what she has given him. He can't fault her for that, so:]

I've still got your birthday gift to play for you, you know.

[Alvin and Blues]
I don't know about you guys, but I think we should give our car a test run. And a name, probably. But given my love for lisping syllables, someone else should probably do that.

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They're dumb, then. If they... didn't like you.

[When she sees that sad smile, she reaches to pat his shoulder. It's not much, but she doesn't like seeing him sad.]

Did you have Melvin, then?

They sure never saw it that way.

[His smile brightens somewhat at her touch] It's ok. I accepted a long time ago I wouldn't ever amount to anything in my family's eyes. Its just one of those things.

I did. I've had him since I was really young.

[And now she frowns.]

I don't... like your family. At all.

[His smile fades again. He's heard this time and time again, and he knows, he knows that his family are awful people, that they've wronged him in so many ways...and yet he still can't bring himself to hate them for it. They're still his family, no matter what hell they've put him through. His friend on the other hand...]

That seems to be a universal opinion amongst my friends. [He casts his gaze downwards] My mom's here at the castle, y'know? Not that I ever see her. [She never visited him in the clinic, not once] I hoped that maybe things could be different here. That we could have a fresh start and I could spend time with her again, before I go back to a home where she's disowned me and left me to rot alone.

[He gives a soft, self-deprecating snort] Goes to show what hope does for you. You'd have thought I'd have learned my lesson by now.

[He pauses, clearing his throat] Sorry, you didn't come here to hear all my family troubles.

Edited 2013-06-14 22:49 (UTC)

[She recognizes that body language because she's seen it before, in herself. She knows how it feels to want your parents to love you and knowing it will never happen the way you want it to.]

Don't apologize.

[She moves to stand in front of him, forcing him to stop, and then wraps her arms around him in a tight hug.]

Not your fault. It's not... your fault, she can't love right. Not about... learning lesson, second chances. Don't feel bad... for hoping, for her love.

[He does stop, but he allows the hug. He always would, in her case. It takes him a moment before he bends as best he can to return it. A part of him had always blamed himself, after all, his family were more than quick enough to lay the blame on him. He wasn't smart enough, wasn't strong enough, wasn't GOOD enough. He makes a soft sound that's almost a chuckle but not quite]

It's crazy. I never knew what it was like to have people who cared about me...just for being me until I came here. Where just me being me was enough.

[He even feels comfortable telling her that, something he keeps only for the most trusted of his circle. That honestly, deep deep down even with the hermiting and the cynisim and the less than flowery attitude, all he really wants is to be accepted for who he is by someone. By anyone. He gives her a gentle squeeze]

Thank you.

I had... the same thing.

[She's never really talked about herself with him before, not really. It's difficult most of the time, she doesn't want to take away from his pain by trying to overshadow it with her own past. But now, she just wants him to know he isn't alone.]

Father used me... like tool. [Better to leave what kind of tool out, for now.] Didn't even give name. But... as bad as he is, as... bad as he treated me, still loved him. Still saw... his version, of love.

Can't help it, loving parents. It's just... what you do.

He didn't even name you?

[He thought having 'Once-ler' as a name was harsh enough, but to not be given one at all... Still, he feels touched that she's told him this, it can't be easy, hell, he knows it isn't. Admitting to anyone you still love the people who hurt you so badly]

I think we do it because for so long they're the only people we could love. Or the people we desperately wanted to love us back anyway.

[He lets out a slow breath, not quite willing to let her go yet] I... thanks for telling me. For trusting me with that, I mean.

No. Didn't teach talking, either.

[No matter how hard she tries, though, she can't remember where the name came from. It must have been Bruce, she can see him picking the name of someone who saw the future to be her name, too.

And it's good he doesn't want to let go because she's showing absolutely no signs of doing it first.]

We just... have to remember, we're worth loving. Worth... people caring, about us.

If it's any consolation, you do amazing for someone who was never taught it. Is that how you learned to read people?

I guess we do. Even when it's really hard to.

[That's been the big roadblock for him in admitting his own feelings to her. That he doesn't deserve her. That he'd only hurt her. It comes as something of a surprise she understands that line of thinking, too. She understands, she's lived it, too. That knowledge does nothing to detract his feelings for her, quite the opposite, in fact. A part of his desperately wants to tell her, right her and now, that she is worth people caring about her, she is worth loving, that he-

But the fear is still there, and it's a difficult beast to slay. He settles instead for rubbing her back gently, shutting away that voice telling him to just kiss her or SOMETHING]

But we are.

[She could do it now. She could tell him that she was bred the same way that Melvin was, the strengths of two people put together to make the most efficient killing machine possible. A weapon that didn't know how to do anything except fight and kill what she was told to kill. It would be easy to do it now, there's an opening and everything. She could tell him. She should tell him.

But she doesn't.]

Psychic puts words in, last year. Made me... understand talking. [She shrugs, concentrating on the soothing feeling of his hand on her back.] Still can't read, though.

Just a year? [He chuckles softly] Wow, you never fail to impress me, y'know? How quick you are to learn, how smart you are.

[Oh. But that's treading dangerous territory, admitting one set of feelings can easily lead to another. So, he clears his throat and pulls back a little, so he can at least smile at her, not willing to let go completely just yet]

And as for that, we can work on that.

[When he smiles at her after all of that, she can't help but smile back. It's good that he can smile after having to talk about his family.]

Doing my best. It's hard, though. So many better things... to be doing. Learning reading's boring.

[Better to smile about it than let them make him cry. He's done giving those people his heartbreak. His smile widens a touch]

Well, we've just gotta find a way to make it less boring. Maybe make a game out of it or something, so it's a fun thing and less of a chore.

[Well, that gets an amused look from her. She's also staying close to him, hasn't thought to back up and start walking again.]

What kind of game?

[And he's certainly not going to bring moving away up, nope. He does tilt his head, considering, before reaching down, picking up a couple of stones by their feet]

Well. [He pulls a pen out of his pocket, writing AT, nice and big on it. The others stones get individual letters. C, M, H. He places them back on the ground]

Like you could create words with them. [And now he's got to thinking] And hey, because you're used to reading people, and physical space more than anything on paper, maybe I could make a clay version of each letter. It'd be easier for you to get used to the shape of it, that way.

[It's probably not a bad idea, really. Sometimes it seems like no matter how much she learns, after a few days have passed she's right back to where she started. Things fade, she confuses letters again. Lots of different ways of learning would probably be very helpful, something has to stick.

Curious, she uses the tip of her boot to push the H stone toward the AT stone, then frowns. ATH probably isn't a real word.]

Wait...

[Stepping on the H, she drags it around the front of the AT stone.]

There.

[He grins as she shifts the stone in place, honestly, genuinely pleased for her]

There you go! Look how fast you got that, we just need to find the right technique is all.

[She gives him a bit of a skeptical look because honestly, hat is not a difficult word.]

Would you... really make letters? Seems like lots of work.

What? I'd call it an achievement. The smallest steps lead to bigger things, y'know.

[He smiles, shrugging]

Sure, I'd make them. You're more than worth it.

[Worth it, he says. She's not sure if anyone has ever said she's worth something that wasn't in the context of being Batgirl or fighting crime. They're still close, so it doesn't take much to lean into him for another hug.]

Thank you.

[It's one of those all inclusive thank yous, of course.]

[She most certainly is to him. Even without the cape and cowl, she means a lot to him. More so, he's beginning to realise, than he first thought. He'll return the hug]

Hey, no problem.

Will have to... knit you something else. So it's fair trade.

Okay, I think I can live with a fair trade.

Good.

[And now she bends down to pick up the C rock, then holds her hand out to him.]

Pen, please?

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