paradisa | (Written)

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tylendel frelennye

(Written)

Does everything change this much? I'm not sure... (He stops writing, unable to find the right words.) I'm not up for this.

(At all.)

Van? I think I'm ready to meet Yfandes if...that's alright? I'm getting sick of staying cooped up in bed.

The walking would do me good.

(Pausing, Tylendel suddenly remembers he has been rather rude. Which isn't entirely out of character for him, but still...)

Ben? Can you see this?

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I.. think I have seen that.

[ Oh. Ouch. This is touching things he hasn't healed from- ]

That... is not always a good thing to be. [ Quietly. ]

Then you deserve his friendship and mine if you want it?

(Oh he knows. Boy does he know.)

In his case, it's good. In mine, no.

... I believe personal opinion on own... deserving, is sticking point.

[ No, he's a terrible person and just hasn't.. told anyone- ]

It tends to be so. Although, if it was a case of such a thing that was negative to you, it likely had a negative effect for him.

[ With being more-than-friends. Even if it is best-friends, that hurts- ]

It can't be helped for those of us with guilty consciences.

(Tylendel isn't a pure person either. He has...done horrible things.)

He has suffered a lot because of me. Yet he accepts me. I don't deserve him.

[ A weak, rusty, not particularly happy-at-all sounding laugh. Yeah. Guilty consciences. That's accurate. ]

There is also the stigma against those strong; regardless of the personal nature, irrational fear will happen. Fear mutates easily.

I was safe from that while I was at the Collegium. They were good about taking care of their own. But outside...

Yeah. People can be cruel.

It is what makes them people. More willing to blindly follow than voice an unpopular opinion.

[ Bitter. Guess who doesn't like people. ]

I try to believe they are capable of much more. But I haven't had good experiences with them either. The only one outside of the Collegium that I could stand was...

My twin. (He sounds choked.)

[ Ah. He won't touch that. There's something about the past tense that he can pick up. ]

Fortunate, to have those of your own race that you enjoyed company with.

[ His best friend was... not so human.

... and then the human who he did like ended up as someone Duke would have gladly killed several years later. oops. ]

You didn't have that? (He's pretty sure he knows the answer.) That sounds lonely.

The few I could stand died, or turned into things I would prefer to have killed myself.

... Perhaps. But humans cannot fly.

I'm assuming their deaths would have been a mercy?

(He is thinking about how he changed after Staven, his twin, had been murdered.)

You...can fly? That would be nice to learn.

... It would have prevented a lot of problems, if I had not acted as I had, and thus managed to reach him first.

... I have a formula - spell, that mimics it, and might be teachable. But I do not have wings.

[ Which was what he was getting at. His friend had pretty much not been human at all. ]

Him? Sounds like a complicated situation. (The worst kind in his book.) I'd be interested in giving it a go if you ever feel like being a teacher. It would certainly help ease some of the nightmares I've been having.

.... Accurate.

... I can attempt. I may not be the best, and having a third person as... someone to keep an eye out, may be best.

I'm sorry. (He knows better than to pry.) Van wouldn't mind helping us out, I'm sure.

[ There's an exhale, because Duke is pretty sure that Tylendel is aware that they're from different worlds and thus he couldn't have had a hand in any of the things that bother him so much-

But pointing that out as 'you don't need to be' feels like something he'd end up doing a great deal too often. ]

Likely. You can talk to him, and find a time that suits you both. I generally don't do terribly much.

(Regardless, he can empathize to a certain degree with difficult situations. He has had plenty of them in his lifetime.)

What should I call you? Van will think I've lost it if I start talking about the man that can fly in the journal.

... Particularly since I do not believe I had mentioned the spell to him before.

I am Duke.

That would make it even worse! (He can't help but laugh, though.)

Nice to meet you, Duke.

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