PARADISA

(Tylendel is laying in the grass, staring up at the sky for anyone who happens to walk outside. There is a dreamy, thoughtful look on his face.)

I've been wondering for awhile if the castle is a weird sort of after-life. I know not everyone remembers dying, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Death is a shock. I wouldn't blame anyone for wanting to forget it.

(Sometimes - well, most of the time - he wishes he could forget his own end.)

Dreams come to life here - and nightmares. I'll take the nightmares if my dreams can come true.

(He sits up and examines the ring on his left hand. Then he shakes his hair out of his eyes.)

I might be in the minority, but I'm glad I came here. Even if the weather changes abruptly.

(A chuckle follows that last bit.)

(The sound of steel of hitting steel can be heard from the tower where the Mages frequent. There are also spells being shouted to the open air and bright flashes of light.)

This castle grants wishes, but only to a certain degree. If the restraints were lifted, what would you wish for? What would you change about your environment?

There are times I feel...weak. Yet this castle has given me everything I could ever want.

(Except for Gala and being a true Herald.)

I want to grow into a man that others can depend on. I know now that mistakes can become strength. Everything I need to be the best version of me is already inside of me.

(He chuckles softly and sheathes his sword.)

I try to be humble too. Sometimes.

I feel...so strange.

Sluggish.

(The words are slower than usual - almost as if Tylendel is having to force them out.)

I wanted...to practice my...sword.

But all I feel like doing is... (There is a sigh here - one of utter exhaustion.) ...sleeping.

Is there something wrong with me?

(OOC: Feel free to find Tylendel on his knees in a corridor or at the top of a staircase (because I'm evil). He's about to be a slumbering Mage.)

(It sounds like a strong wind is swirling around Tylendel's journal. There are cracking sounds - like boughs breaking - and a short, panicked cry.)

STAVEN!

(Everything quiets down after that chilling sound and there is an eery silence...

Until the journal is picked up. Tylendel's voice is hoarse.)

On the up side, there is more wood for fires. On the down side, I...

Some of the trees are looking a bit bare.

(That's putting it lightly. He is sitting in a wooded section outside and there is a circle of decimated boughs around him. Even the ground has deep gouges in it - almost as if a twister of pure energy had circled around Tylendel.)

I think they're getting worse.

(Tylendel spends the morning taking various horses - the ones approved by Vanyel and Yfandes - out for a ride. It's nice to be active in this way again, though he has a feeling he will be sore later.)

This way, girl. (His voice is soft and encouraging as he directs the mare through a small obstacle course he had set up.) Let's try the jump again, hm?

(Tugging on the reins, Tylendel brings the mare to a pause for a moment. They both need to be in the right mindset for such a leap, but he's certain she can make it.

Today, the youth is wearing soft brown pants, a white tunic and brown boots. His skin has become quite tanned since his arrival - he does like being in the sunshine - and he is beginning to regain the strength and muscles he used to have.)

Alright. Here we go... (The mare snorts and bobs her head, pawing at the ground. She steps forward, slowly speeding up into a trot and then a canter and then a gallop. Just like he expects, she clears the obstacle without a second though. He laughs in delight and pats the side of her neck.)

I knew you could do it. (He reaches for his journal and speaks directly to it.) I have to say I'm impressed with the horses in the stable. I would be happy to look after all of them if I had the time.

What does it mean to be a Gryffindor? (The colors remind him of the Bard school.) I understand that bravery and chivalry play a part, but if that's all, I am not in the right House in the least.

Speaking of which, does anyone really abide by the curfew? I feel like I'm in the Collegium again, but this time...

(There's no one warming his bed. Sleeping alone is almost physically painful after everything. Every moment of silence is filled with Tylendel's thoughts about Savil and all of the people - good people - he betrayed and left behind.)

It seems lonely. Magic can't make up for everything.

(Curiously, after blacking out twice - and dying once, Tylendel has finally managed to grab the journal. He begins to dictate, though his voice is very weak at first.)

Am I in the Havens? (There is audible doubt in his tone. Why would he deserve to go there?)

I must be...somewhere else. (Somewhere reserved for cowards like him.) I don't deserve it, but...

Is there a Healer in the vicinity? (Goddess, he hopes he is actually communicating with someone.) I'm afraid to stand up. The last time I did, I must have blacked out.

(What else can one expect with a head injury and a fever?)

My name is...Tylendel. (His voice softens, an audible quake to it.) I think I'm...

(Dead. He wonders if that's the norm for...here.)

I didn't think death would hurt this much. (But he deserves every ache and he knows it.) But maybe this is my punishment.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.