Teach 247.

[onlyanapple]

[Congratulations Muggle Studies students. You have Professor A.J Crowley to teach you the finer things about the world of muggles. He has his journal open on his desk, into which he dictates into as he wheels into the classroom an old TV and an even older VCR. Sorry he's from 1990, what do you expect?]

You've got exactly three seconds to get through the doors for my class before I send something nasty after you. Just a fair warning, kids!

[That done, and his journal still open, he turns on the TV, static crackling away, 'snow' all over the screen]

Today you're going to learn the ancient muggle art of programming a VCR. You need to get the TV onto a channel, get a blank cassette into the VCR, program it to the channel you want and record five minutes of that specific program. Student who does it fastest gets ten points ot their house or something. I don't care.

[He sits on his chair, putting his feet up on his desk and pulling out a hipflask]

You kids get right on that while I sit here and drink my...butterbeer and grade your efforts.

Comments

[waterproofed]

[wow he sure is glad he's in this class. This is going to be the easiest A (or O, in this case) that he's ever gotten]

I don't know who put you in charge of a class, but I'm cool with it.

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley aims to please]

Dunno what you're talking about, I've been in charge of this class for years. But good for you, kid, glad you're enjoying this fulfilling learning experience.

[waterproofed]

Wait, so you... [he's affected, too? Hm, interesting] Well, whatever, it's an easy class for me.

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley raises his hipflask in salute]

Yippie, good for you. Reach for the stars. Yadda yadda.

[waterproofed]

[wow Crowley is reminding him a lot of Mr. D right now. All he needs to do is start calling him Perry Johnson or something and it'll be a complete picture. Percy shrugs and gets to work on the VCR. Unfortunately for Crowley, it doesn't take Percy the full five minutes. Hey, this kid grew up in the 90s. Tech like this is easy]

So I passed, right?

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley watches him work in a disinterested sort of way]

Looks it. Ten points to your house and take with it the knowledge you've been able to do something most people can do on a daily basis.

[waterproofed]

[yep, Crowley is definitely putting out some huge Mr. D vibes. How has Percy not noticed that before?]

Hey, can I ask why non-magical people are called Muggles? It's such a random word.

[onlyanapple]

[Because no one was stupid enough to put Crowley in a position of teaching before now. Ugh and now he's being expected to pass on knowledge, you goddamn kids]

It comes from the word mug - gullible. Basically it's calling them foolish buggers, affectionately, mind you.

[waterproofed]

Oh. I guess that kinda makes sense. Seems kinda wrong, though. I mean, they're not all bad. They'd think wizards are pretty foolish for not even knowing how to turn on a light switch.

[onlyanapple]

Thank you, this is my exact point. But that's the wizarding world for you. Most of them have got their wands so far up their own jacksies they don't even realise what's going on around them.

[waterproofed]

Sounds like it would hurt. Listen, I'm gonna go down to the lake. I'll see you around. [even posing as a teacher, he's sure Crowley won't care if he ditches class]

[onlyanapple]

[Not even the tiniest little bit]

Don't let another catch you. I'll deny all knowledge of this conversation.