Teach 247.

[onlyanapple]

[Congratulations Muggle Studies students. You have Professor A.J Crowley to teach you the finer things about the world of muggles. He has his journal open on his desk, into which he dictates into as he wheels into the classroom an old TV and an even older VCR. Sorry he's from 1990, what do you expect?]

You've got exactly three seconds to get through the doors for my class before I send something nasty after you. Just a fair warning, kids!

[That done, and his journal still open, he turns on the TV, static crackling away, 'snow' all over the screen]

Today you're going to learn the ancient muggle art of programming a VCR. You need to get the TV onto a channel, get a blank cassette into the VCR, program it to the channel you want and record five minutes of that specific program. Student who does it fastest gets ten points ot their house or something. I don't care.

[He sits on his chair, putting his feet up on his desk and pulling out a hipflask]

You kids get right on that while I sit here and drink my...butterbeer and grade your efforts.

Comments

[Action]

[deductiongeek]

[Really? This was what they were going to have a lesson on?

Well, at least it made more sense than all this nonsense about magic.

Conan doesn't wait for his classmates or any more instructions. He just wanted to get this over with.

Besides, it wasn't like this was new to him. He'd worked on more than a few cases involving complicated timing tricks with VCR's. In comparison this was a simple task. It barely takes him longer than the requested five minutes of program to complete it.]

I'm finished! Is there anything else for us to do?

forever!

[onlyanapple]

[Wow he did not expect to happen that fast. Crowley leans up, not willing to leave his chair, squinting over his sunglasses at Conan's efforts]

Huh. Oh well, ten points to...whatever the hell house you're in, like I keep track of these things.

You can do whatever the hell you want now. [He only wanted to get drunk, why do you ruin his plans, Conan?]

[deductiongeek]

Ravenclaw, professor. [If nothing else, Conan was good at blending into situations. When he wasn't raging at the complete lack of logic.]

Is that kind of thing right for a teacher to say?

[waterproofed]

[wow he sure is glad he's in this class. This is going to be the easiest A (or O, in this case) that he's ever gotten]

I don't know who put you in charge of a class, but I'm cool with it.

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley aims to please]

Dunno what you're talking about, I've been in charge of this class for years. But good for you, kid, glad you're enjoying this fulfilling learning experience.

[waterproofed]

Wait, so you... [he's affected, too? Hm, interesting] Well, whatever, it's an easy class for me.

Action

[putuporshutup]

[Meg waits approximately two minutes and fifty-five seconds before sauntering into the muggle studies and taking her usual seat in the back between August and James, rolling her eyes at the ancient artifact in front of her.]

Wow, technology so old it actually works within the walls of Hogwarts. Who would have thought?

forever!

[onlyanapple]

[Cutting it fine, missy. Crowley gives a shrug]

Dunno what you're talking about, they're top of the line, they are. If you'd prefer, I have some bricks you can play with instead.

[unvarnished]

[oh no, it's Meg. August was really hoping he could ace this before she walked in and noticed he actually understood all this Muggle stuff on a level that only comes from living among them. But now she's here and he has to go back pretending to be just as clueless as any other wizard-raised student]

[princelyspirit]

[Muggle Studies! The greatest source of easy marks to ever grace Hogwarts' fine halls. Utena lounges back in her seat, fully prepared to use this class to catch up on her Transfiguration homework, when she notices today's assignment. Oh, oh no. No no no no no.]

Ah, Professor?

[Raising her hand (see? she can be a respectful student!), her usual confidence replaced with uncertainty]

[onlyanapple]

[He looks up from his drinking, ugh a question. Still, at least she's not being a punk about it]

Yeah?

[cyan_maid]

[Aaaugh. Muggle Studies is tough, even for someone who delighted in cleverness like Jane. After all, VCRs were not common fixtures in pureblood houses. She hasn't jumped up yet to tackle it; instead, she's sitting in her seat, nibbling the end of her pencil and watching some of the other students' progress.]

Oh, geez...

[onlyanapple]

You planning on giving it a try any time soon? It won't bite you. [A sip form the hip flask] Probably.

[heloise]

Can we get points and a pint of butterbeer?

[onlyanapple]

Not from my hipflask, but I might put a good word in for you in The Three Broomsticks if you manage to do it without pissing me off.

[Action]

[i_got_this]

[She's peeling into the class a fraction after his countdown officially ended, whoops.]

[But she wouldn't dare miss this class.]

[It's like an easy A.]

[Yeah trying to play it normal while she takes a seat.]

forever!

[onlyanapple]

[He pauses in his drinking, not looking at her]

I'm sure we had a deadline.

[the_effect_she_has]

[Katniss spent the few minutes she was here early to take a look at the damned instruction manual -- because while they all had televisions where she was from to watch the Games - no one had one of these in District 12. And the Capital had digital]

[But Peeta had gotten the tapes before - so she knew the basics. After a moment, she got up, hit a few buttons, and got it set up.]

There. Can I go?

[onlyanapple]

Good job, kid, ten points to wherever.

[He sits back in his seat, taking another swig]

Sure, if you want to. I'll deny all knowledge of letting you go if you get caught.

[princeandwizard]

[Goodness, that was old technology, even for someone from 1997. Luckily for Ohjiro he was born in 1982, so he still knows his way around this just fine. He'll stand and go over to the setup, selecting the channel and then recording the allotted five minutes with ease. He'll even rewind and play it back for you, Crowley.

Seeing so many other students just staring blankly at the devices was baffling... were such things really so uncommon for wizards?]

[onlyanapple]

[He'll arch a brow at that show of skill]

Well aren't we a star pupil? Ten points to wherever.

action;

[gottaknockhard]

[Coming into the class is an accident on Spike's part. He was passing by the door when he saw Crowley at the head of it -- looking exactly the same (just to rub it in) -- when students start to push past him and wind up shoving him inside.

So he stands in the back of the room, squinting for a few seconds while people take their seats, then quietly turns toward the door.

Ugh.]

forever!

[onlyanapple]

[Ugh. THIS kid. Crowley never liked him]

And where do you think you're going?

[anytime]

Question: Where the hell did you even find a piece of shit this old.

[onlyanapple]

I found it it the magical fucking supplies cupboard.