Teach 247.

[onlyanapple]

[Congratulations Muggle Studies students. You have Professor A.J Crowley to teach you the finer things about the world of muggles. He has his journal open on his desk, into which he dictates into as he wheels into the classroom an old TV and an even older VCR. Sorry he's from 1990, what do you expect?]

You've got exactly three seconds to get through the doors for my class before I send something nasty after you. Just a fair warning, kids!

[That done, and his journal still open, he turns on the TV, static crackling away, 'snow' all over the screen]

Today you're going to learn the ancient muggle art of programming a VCR. You need to get the TV onto a channel, get a blank cassette into the VCR, program it to the channel you want and record five minutes of that specific program. Student who does it fastest gets ten points ot their house or something. I don't care.

[He sits on his chair, putting his feet up on his desk and pulling out a hipflask]

You kids get right on that while I sit here and drink my...butterbeer and grade your efforts.

Comments

[onlyanapple]

I found it it the magical fucking supplies cupboard.

[anytime]

Doesn't that make the name of the cupboard contradictory if it's stashing away boring crap from decades past, instead of. I dunno. Actual magic stuff.

[And there's a quick beat, before he changes tracks.]

But hey, you wouldn't happen to have any records in your magical fucking supplies cupboard, would you.

[onlyanapple]

This is a contradictory castle. The stairs move wherever they want, the pianting talk to you, what do you expect?

...What sort of records? Student or musical?

[anytime]

Musical. What am I gonna do with student records?

[onlyanapple]

Maybe you're an industrious sort searching for dirt on your peers.

[anytime]

From what I've seen, they provide more dirt all on their own than any old documents could, magical or not, literally and metaphorically. That and any businessman worth his salt has better sources than a cupboard.

I'd at least have a closet. A walk-in one.

[onlyanapple]

Excellent, nice to see a youngster with ambition these days.

[anytime]

What can I say, I'm a capitalist and I'm here to take the entrepreneurial reins on the situation.

So yeah, records. You got any.

[onlyanapple]

That depends. What's in it for me? I don't give away anything for free.

[anytime]

Who said I was gonna ask for them.

[He was totally gonna ask for them.]

[onlyanapple]

Oh? You took a lot of interest in something you didn't want.

[anytime]

It depends on the goods you've got. Come on, don't tell me you never heard of the barter system, dude.

[onlyanapple]

I have indeed, but I also know giving you the good beforehand will just null any incentive for you to hold up your side.

[anytime]

You don't have to give them to me, I just wanna see the collection. A guy's gotta appreciate and do you have any idea how long it's been since I've seen a chunk of vinyl that doesn't have temporal caveats attached.

[onlyanapple]

Fine, I suppose I can let you see a few of them.

[anytime]

[He visibly brightens at that. Not overmuch, but there is definitely a fuck yes running through his head.]

Sweet. You should just shelve the TV and give us all a lesson in turntablism, anyway.

[onlyanapple]

You really think so, hmm?

[anytime]

Well, yeah. It's an important life skill that's a cornerstone of the non-magical community.

[onlyanapple]

That's an interesting belief system you have there, kid.

[anytime]

More than interesting, it's fucking serious business, man. Not everyone hears their calling from the scratched records of turntables laid bare. When your ancestors decide to unveil centuries of wisdom, it's only common courtesy to throw down and answer with the sicknastiest of jams.

[onlyanapple]

Huh. I wouldn't know, I don't have ancestors. I'll just take your word for it.