paradisa | Teach 247.

[Congratulations Muggle Studies students. You have Professor A.J Crowley to teach you the finer things about the world of muggles. He has his journal open on his desk, into which he dictates into as he wheels into the classroom an old TV and an even older VCR. Sorry he's from 1990, what do you expect?]

You've got exactly three seconds to get through the doors for my class before I send something nasty after you. Just a fair warning, kids!

[That done, and his journal still open, he turns on the TV, static crackling away, 'snow' all over the screen]

Today you're going to learn the ancient muggle art of programming a VCR. You need to get the TV onto a channel, get a blank cassette into the VCR, program it to the channel you want and record five minutes of that specific program. Student who does it fastest gets ten points ot their house or something. I don't care.

[He sits on his chair, putting his feet up on his desk and pulling out a hipflask]

You kids get right on that while I sit here and drink my...butterbeer and grade your efforts.

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I'm sure you'll live with this excessive use of your legs.

[If that's not an invitation to kick the professor in the jaw...

He gets up though, like he's just going to give up and do it, walking over slowly to the VCR and peering at its strange familiarity.]

What's next?

[Crowley points at it]

You need to record a program on it.

[He looks back at him like this is the stupidest thing he's ever faced.]

Is that all?

That's it. Do that and you can fuck off as much as I care.

[His eyes trail to where he last saw his wand. Apparently he needs that now.]

No problem.

You enjoy the rest of your day.

[That is the least sincere tone ever]

Did I pass already?

Sure, with flying colours. Lucky fucking you.

[Demon head game bullshit. Spike leaves the VCR untouched and takes another turn toward the door, as if he'd been waiting on permission.]

Great.

Of course. It will probably be noted with your other teachers that you abandoned the class.

[Such beautiful head games]

[He can feel his eye twitching.]

You call that abandon?

Walking out of it does constitute as abandoning, doesn't it? [He swirls the liquid in his hip flask idly] You'll have to decide if you can have faith in me not to tell anyone or not.

[Okay, that has to be a bigger threat than it sounds.]

Yeah, right.

So, it's up to you. [He waves his hand in the expanse of the room and the door] Pick what you like.

[Spike takes two more steps towards the door, and stops.]

How long have you been teaching?

[Crowley sits back staring at the door and letting out a soft huff]

Let'see. About fifteen years now, I think.

[Fake memories and he's still just as much of an ass.]

Long time to be in one place.

And yet I'm still stuck in this shitty job teaching a bunch of ungrateful brats. There's no justice in the world.

Anything is better than where you came from, isn't it?

...What, you mean Mayfair?

[He shakes his head. This is pointless.]

How would I know?

I don't know, you brought it up. [These kids get weirder every year]

Pretend I didn't.

[And he's attempting to leave again, this time more because he's legitimately disturbed by the whole thing. It's like he forgets he's a kid in a magic school some days.]

[Crowley will give him an idle wave as he leaves, hoping he gave the kid at least a little paranoia to take with him through the day]

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gottaknockhard - 2013-08-09 01:19 (UTC) - Expand