Thirty Three Truffula Trees

[whichwayyoulean]

[Later tonight, one may find the peace of their evening disturbed by a horrible screeching sound permeating the journals. As if metal is meeting metal in a horrible, scraping doom. Accompanying the terrible screeching is a low thudum-thudum-thudum. This continues for about a minute before the Once-ler manages to grab hold of his journal, laughing nervously into the pages]

Sooo hey. Quick FYI. You guys might want to avoid the Laundry Room until tomorrow. Not that there's anything to worry about. Mostly.

Whoaaaah just stay in that corner of the room. Oh jeez you're getting Tide everywhere.

I might have experimentally given one of he tumble dryers legs. And then I was tinkering about in the back of it, just fooling around and I miiiiight have given it a teeny tiny slither of self awareness. Like the teeniest. Hardly anything, really.

[Screeeech. Thudum-thudum-thudum]

I think it's mad.

Comments

[whichwayyoulean]

No it's not, it's an entirely accurate proverb.

[wilder]

No, it's not.

Eggshells have absolutely no practical value for people, so breaking eggshells doesn't mean anything. Meanwhile having that other sock? Is very useful and losing it is a definite negative! They can't be compared as equivalents at all.

[whichwayyoulean]

Some people collect eggshells. They're called Oologists. The eggshells are useful to them.

[Then, partly to himself] Ooooologists. Who even thinks of these words?

[wilder]

...How do you know something like that?

Did you make it up?

[whichwayyoulean]

No, I read it in a book.

Seriously, man, it's a real word.

1/2

[wilder]

[a pause]

[Then he wishes for a dictionary and there's sounds of him flipping through it]

- Wow. You're not really kidding! That is a word! How about that!

[wilder]

Your proverb's still stupid though.

[whichwayyoulean]

No way, the Oologists wouldn't want broken eggshells all over the place, with people making omelettes out of their eggs.

The proverb totally holds water.

[wilder]

Oh, but how do you know they want the shell unbroken with all the insides, or just neatly broken and hollowed out?

I mean, they're eggshell collectors, not egg collectors.

[whichwayyoulean]

Okay, but there are other people who use eggshells, too. Like you can put it in your soil to help crops grow. And feed 'em to your chickens to give them calcium.

[wilder]

Really?

But isn't that like...cannibalism for the chickens?

[whichwayyoulean]

Kinda, yeah. But I don't think the chickens care all that much. They're kinda dumb. They probably don't even notice they're eating the casings of their unborn young.

1/2

[wilder]

Wow...that is disturbing on so many levels.

[wilder]

-- And ha! Casings! As in, they were broken eggshells anyway!

[whichwayyoulean]

The eggs themselves were probably used to make an omelette.

Or a cake.

[wilder]

Hmmm, nope. Nice try.

See, you were arguing that losing socks from using a dryer is the same as breaking eggshells for omelettes. But it's truly not as you just proved, because the eggshells are still useful after they get broken! In fact it's even more useful now! Meanwhile the sock? Is long gone and a total loss. And so the proverb doesn't work at all and it's stupid.

So I feel I can say checkmate.

1/2

[whichwayyoulean]

[...]

2/2

[whichwayyoulean]

You win this time, Zelos Wilder.

[wilder]

Ahahaha, and people wonder why I'm called the Great.

[whichwayyoulean]

It's really nice to see that you haven't let it go to your head.

[wilder]

What? Modesty's such a waste of time.

[whichwayyoulean]

It's not like you've won every discussion ever. There's not a lot to be cocky about.

[wilder]

I win a good number of them!

[whichwayyoulean]

No way, it's totally an equal footing.

[wilder]

Do you wanna start keeping score?