Quest 1: A Wild Dwarf Appears! [Dictated/Action][Open to all - let me know if I messed up!!]

[fuckelves]

[Where is he? Why is there a book in his hand?]

...from the make of this place, I'd say this is Elf sorcery...

[To appease his curiosity, Thorin opens the book and finds not only his name, but the words he spoke not seconds ago written inside.]

...definitely Elf devilry.

[He tilts a brow and observes his surroundings - seems to be a lobby of some sort. Dwarves don't typically live in castles, so he knows this is not the work of his kind - and his kind would never demand the sacrifice that this castle did.]

Where in Mahal's beard am I?

Comments

[dog_eat_dog]

I'm basically the queen of the black market. I don't need protection.

But I'm also just fucking with you. If you're a dwarf who hates elves and fights dragons, well, all the more power to you. I just don't want to smoke whatever you're smoking.

[fuckelves]

[Who wouldn't want to smoke Greenwood Weed? Fili and Kili proclaim it to be the best in all of Middle Earth!]

[...but as he thinks this, he considers that she's probably just using a turn of phrase.]

So long as you mean no physical harm, I suppose I can consider you an ally. What do you call yourself?

[dog_eat_dog]

Tess.

[fuckelves]

Good to know you.

I am Thorin Oakenshield.

[He refrains from the longer version: "son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain"...somehow he thinks she'll find more amusement than awe in it.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[She can't get over these ridiculous names.]

Nice to meet you, Thorin.

[fuckelves]

Likewise.

[Though he could do without the attitude. Then again, he does admire it, to a degree.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[A vaguely amused noise, and then a pause.]

You're in Paradisa, by the way.

[fuckelves]

So I've heard. I must say that for the moment I do not mind the castle...but I do not trust it.

[Smart move, Thorin.]

[dog_eat_dog]

I wouldn't trust any place I just "appeared" in.

[fuckelves]

An excellent point.

[He hates to admit.]

[dog_eat_dog]

At least it doesn't appear to be particularly hostile.

[fuckelves]

The castle? Aye, I quite agree.

[He half expected the castle to grow sharp teeth and try to eat him.]

Still, from what I understand, wicked things seem drawn to it.

[dog_eat_dog]

If they are, I haven't heard of it.

[fuckelves]

I confess I've not heard details. But from what I gather, strange beasts have attacked castle inhabitants?

[He has selective hearing, so he could very well be mistaken.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[What the fuck.]

Haven't heard about that, but I'd like to know as soon as possible.

[fuckelves]

[Thorin shrugs. Perhaps he heard wrong?]

I may be misinformed. I assumed you would know more about this than I.

[dog_eat_dog]

No. I haven't been here long.

[fuckelves]

Nor have I - seems we have more in common than we thought.

[dog_eat_dog]

[Mildly sarcastic:]

I seriously doubt we have much in common.

[fuckelves]

[Thorin rolls his eyes; just when he starts to think that he can tolerate this woman she proves otherwise.]

...Perhaps not. I was merely pointing out that I haven't been here long, and nor have you. This is a point we have in common.

[dog_eat_dog]

I don't know about you, but here's the thing about me: I look out for myself. I'm not looking for someone to team up with to find out the secrets of this place, least of all some dragon-fighting dwarf.

[fuckelves]

...woman, you have a high opinion of yourself indeed!

Where in Mahal's beard did you get that idea? Certainly not from me! I can promise you, it was not my intention to suggest that we join forces. If we happen to fight beside each other in the future, very well!

If not, that suits me just as well! I need no companion even a place as cruel as this! I certainly have no use for a companion as arrogant as you!

[dog_eat_dog]

[Tess is a huge asshole, I am sorry.]

It was a fair warning. Deal with it.

[fuckelves]

I required no warning. The thought had not so much as entered my head until you brought it up.

Methinks you are the one desperate for a companion, despite your insistence to the contrary.

[Yeah, Thorin's a bigger one - this would just be more obvious if she were an Elf...]

[dog_eat_dog]

I have a partner, thanks. I only replied to you because I can't believe anyone seriously believes in elves.