First Mission ⊕ Do you want ants? Because THAT'S how you get ants. [Accidentally Dictated]

[fairlyclassichim]

[Sterling Archer, international spy, is suction-cupped to the outside of the 30th story of a skyscraper. His colleague is careening down to her death, having slipped mere seconds ago.]

AAAAAAARRRRRCCCCHHHHHHEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!

I'M COOOOOOMMMMMMMIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!

Phrasing! Oof!

[Archer launches off the building into a backwards swan dive and freefalls after her in hot pursuit.]

LAAAAAAANNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAA! WOOOOO HOOO HOOOO-HOOOOO!

[He passes her and turns mid-air, ready to grab on to the building again and catch her.

Instead, he comes to a sudden stop as he crashes down... on top of a dude... in some kind of bright turquoise body armor... in a strange kitchen he's never seen before in his life. The force of the fall slams them both into the counter, sending food flying everywhere as they both skid to a rough stop against the cabinets.]

WHAT THE SHIT? Where the hell am I? LANA!

Comments

[fairlyclassichim]

Good to know about the clinic but I think I'm actually... yup, pretty much fine. About the booze though. Is there a bar?

[bro_codebreaker]

There are quite a few, but the Nines is the best. It's the Awesomeness Committee Headquarters and everything.

[fairlyclassichim]

Sounds like my kind of place, bro. What's your name?

[bro_codebreaker]

Stinson, of the Barney variety. What's yours?

[fairlyclassichim]

Archer. Sterling Archer. Nice to meet you, man. Where are you from?

[bro_codebreaker]

New York City. [he says it with a twang, like the guy on the old salsa commercials] You?

[fairlyclassichim]

No way, me too! God, what a relief.

[bro_codebreaker]

Seriously? [he laughs a little at that] Small world-sucking magic castle. Where in New York?