Don't Be Fooled By Your Emptiness [ action ]

[wishmadeinfire]

Never had a morning seemed so bleak to Ashura.

Dawn was not pink and gold, it was a new sort of color for bruising. Everything in him ached, hair to his toes, body and soul. His eyes felt raw from the tears he had shed alone, his body settled with the heaviness like the day after a burial. And he had been to many of those too, over his years. Rising was a challenge, dressing himself even more so, feeling leaden and jerky, every action a question.

He partook of no breakfast, barely acknowledged the existence of Agni as he left the suite that was now his alone. He dared not glance at the plaque beside it - no matter what it said, it would ache and burn, and he was not sure he could take more wounds. One more prick, he thought, and he would simply fade, a soldier who lost to much blood.

Walking made him feel numb and he accepted that, basked in it. But in the numbness he could feel the roiling emotions he had kept at bay enough to get a handful of hours of sleep. They churned and hissed, and it had occurred to him here he had more freedom to release them than he ever had back in his own world (well, that was not entirely true, only that release cost people - the enemy - their lives in droves). Here he was no king. He was simply Ashura, a man, and in that thought his plan had blossomed.

Eventually, his feet stepped off grass and into sand, his robes dragging. The water hissed in his ears, a siren call, but not strong enough, not here, not for this. Another passage to death called his name, and it would wait patiently, he knew. He stopped several feet from the water, gazing at it, and inside he began to release the holds he had on that churning feeling, the emotions to myriad to put to words.

So he burned them.

Fire roared around him, a circle of heat that screamed with the pain and ache he couldn't properly voice. The circle bounded higher and higher, forming a tornado of swirling heat that groaned and howled as it at the air and his magic, flushing his skin. The pale yellow of morning was no more for him, just a single, swirling mass of red, gold, and at his feet white and blue. Above, the tornado shifted, grew higher, taking the form of a bird with its beak spread and screaming in denial and pain.

This continued for many, many minutes, but even Ashura's power and control had limited. The bird leaned forward over the water, falling in a death throw, hissing as it dissolved. With the tornado of flame gone, it revealed Ashura, skin flushed, the edges of his robes crisp, kneeling in a circle of molten glass, his whole body shaking from the expenditure, almost as if he would start seizing. And yet he didn't seem to care. He simply knelt in the circle he had formed about himself, shaking uncontrollably...

[ ooc: This takes place early in the morning, so catch him at the beach or if you want to, you can catch Ashura later returning to the Castle that's fine too. He'll still be shaking and look pale and his clothing crisped at the edges. ]

Comments

[savethedarkness]

[M is on her way down to the clinic to help with the paperwork, as she usually promises Allen. the bruises on her throat from her ordeal with Silva have finally begun to fade, but she still has a scarf looped loosely around to cover them.

when she catches sight of Ashura, she gasps softly. it's not like him to look anything less than graceful and composed, and in her eyes, that's cause enough for worry]

You look like hell. What's happened?

[one for small talk, our M]

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ Ashura turned his head to look at her, his eyes bleak, their usual light snuffed out and left only with the age and weight of his years. He was still shaking, fingers twitching as his muscles spasmed and his body searched drastically for any sort of caloric intake to counter the energy he had just spent. ]}

I thought it would make it hurt less.

_{[ Because that was an answer in full for him at the moment, still so numb after last night. ]}

[savethedarkness]

[that non-answer is enough to tell her that something isn't just wrong, it's VERY wrong, and without waiting for him to consent or say anything further, she takes him firmly by the shoulder]

Come with me. You need to sit down. [she's fully intending to lead him to the clinic and get a blanket round his shoulders - for all intents and purposes, she knows shock when she sees it, and this looks pretty close]

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ Woodenly, he follows. It was to hard to protest now. It was to hard to do much of anything. He didn't even seem to pay much attention where they were going, sitting down when she got him a chair, automatically assuming an upright, monarchally position out of long habit. But there was nothing behind it, just a cold numbness. ]}

[savethedarkness]

[she frowned, fetching a blanket from one of the storage bins and wrapping it around his shoulders before silently wishing up a cup of cocoa. she remembered how it had been his beverage of choice when they met in the kitchens, and held it out to him, quietly]

[fuckelves]

[Thorin finds that he does not sleep well in this place. Perhaps it is because Paradisa is a castle, and not a mountain cave. Odd how even a King such as Thorin was more at home in a cave in some dark mountain than in a castle.]

[So early in the morning he left the castle and wandered the grounds. He left his sword in his room, clad only in a tunic, loose pants, a belt and his thick, fur-trimmed coat. There was still a chill in the air, as it was still early. So it was odd that Thorin suddenly felt a very familiar heat forming as he walked.]

[It felt like the embering flames in the forges he worked in as a blacksmith. Then suddenly he saw it, and he felt it. The surge of flame and the blast of heat on his face, even though he was still some distance away. Thorin did not shy away; again, he was used to this heat. But it was unnerving to see it appear so suddenly here, on the beach. And to see it take the form of a bird, no less! That was even more unnerving...]

[When the flames disappeared he saw Ashura, and a wave of concern washed over Thorin. He stood in shock for a moment before bolting towards the non-elf.]

[This is definitely not normal behavior. Thorin can tell, even though he's not known Ashura long.]

Oi, lad! [He slides to a stop in the sand beside Ashura.] What's happened? Are you ill, has some curse befallen you??

Feelings ahoy! [sorry so late, was about and about!]

[wishmadeinfire]

<sub>[ By this time Ashura as collapsed to his knees, fingers buried in the steaming sand, not caring about the tingles of pain. Around him, the molten glass still bubbled as it cooled. Dark hair had fallen over his shoulders, shielding his face.

Thorin's question ripped the most bitter of laughs from him, a sound of metal scraping against his throat and blood bubbling between words. ]</sub>

A curse would be preferred to this...

Re: It's totally fine!! :)

[fuckelves]

[Thorin paused, taken aback by the statement. He dropped down to one knee and set a hand to Ashura's shoulder.]

Tell me lad, what's happened?

[He gently squeezes Ashura's shoulder, asserting the fact that he was there, and wasn't going anywhere.]

:3

[wishmadeinfire]

<sub>[ He jerked, almost wanting to throw Thorin off, to roar at him. But it wasn't fair to take it out on Thorin, and truthfully he was simply to numb and to weak to have the strength for it. Yelling at Thorin would not ease his ache, just as what he had just done would not.

Nothing would make this better. Nothing. Just like with Yasha. Nothing made it better, he had only the numbness to keep his sanity. ]</sub>

He left me...

[inafadingcrown]

[She hangs back while Ashura vents in the form of fire- and even from a distance there's really not much mistaking that for anything else. She watches, both concerned and awed, but she's not going to approach until she's sure it's safe. Too many of her kin have fallen to flames already; she has no intention of adding to the number.

But when she sees Ashura collapse like that, she can wait no longer. It's rare to see the elf rush, but it's warranted here. She kneels beside him, placing a hand on his back.]

Ashura.

[wishmadeinfire]

<sub>[ Of all the people to find him, he felt most relieved it was Galadriel. She had, surprisingly, been a sort of rock in his life here, an older elf and in at one point his grandmother. The title had stuck in his head, and in some ways he had clung to her as family in his mind.

He lifted up his bowed head, still shaking, exhausted beyond measure and turned into her, black and red to gold and white.

For a moment he said nothing and then, brokenly, began to sob. ]</sub>

[inafadingcrown]

[Whatever she had been expecting, that wasn't it. Startled, she falls back to instinct and treats him as she would her own child, pulling him into an embrace and making soft, soothing sounds.

It's alright. Whatever it is, she will listen when he's ready to speak.]

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ He sobs for a time, though there were no tears, like he had burned those out of himself, and maybe he had. Eventually, though, he calmed and just leaned against the much older elf, a child in need of maternal comfort and a king in need of sympathetic wisdom. ]}

He left me, Galadriel. Last night he.... he just left me.

[radiantwingedone]

[ The magic had Duke heading out, mostly because he was excited. It was new, it was fire, and that was one of the easier elements for him to use.

But when he gets closer, and finds the glass, he has to think for a moment. this... seemed less like playing with magic, and he does remember working with Ashura on fire before. ]

.... Something has upset you.

[ Sort of hesitant. He's not terribly sure of that, but it makes some vague sense to him. ]

And then gmail didst say - NO TAGS SHALL BE DONE THIS NIGHT

[wishmadeinfire]

Am I so obvious?

_{[ The words were bitter and hard, the king hunched over and hugging himself as he tried to get ahold of the shaking. ]}

TOO BAD GMAIL

[radiantwingedone]

I assume it is something more obvious to someone who can see.

[ Duke takes a careful couple more steps, then sort of crouches down near Ashura. He's pretty sure he's roughly within arms reach. ]

People insist talking about things makes them better. I find target practice feels better first. Should I find things to throw?

[wishmadeinfire]

I think... I had enough target practice, as you might say. Anymore would be dangerous.

<sub>[ Possibly for Duke, more for Ashura, and deadly for anything else. Ashura could pinpoint his magic as well as the wide spread display earlier.

He wasn't sure if he had the energy for another spark though, much less a wave. ]</sub>

[rose_of_battle]

[Sheena had seen the large, fiery bird some distance away, and, curious about who had summoned it, she had made her way down to the beach, stopping when she saw Ashura heading her way.

His appearance had sent alarms ringing, and she ran to him and took his shoulders in a very firm--very concerned--grip.]

Ashura! What happened?

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ On instinct, he shrugged her off, though he was weak from the exertion of his Talent. He stumbled at the jerk, panting, his limbs still quivering as he forced himself to move on. ]}

Nothing..

_{[ The word has the ring to it that says 'nothing' really meant 'everything'. ]}

[rose_of_battle]

[Yeah, she's not buying it--and rushes in front of him to stop him again. Although, part of her wonders if she may be holding him up, too.]

I don't think so. Something's happened, Ashura! Uncle, what's wrong?

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ He met her eyes this time, his own eyes dark, their light gone, buried beneath sadness and pain ages old and new, bleeding inside. ]}

Just leave me be, Sheena.

[last_rat_standing]

[Bond had been doing his morning rounds when he noticed the flames. He heard the crackling before the light caught the corner of his eye. He turned, eyes wide as he watched the bird take shape out of the tornado. There's only one person he knows of who can create something like that and to his knowledge he's generally not one for random displays, especially not ones as ostentatious as this. Something's wrong. Thinking that Ashura might be in the midst of some fight he takes off in a run towards the flames, heedless of his own healing injuries after his tussle with Silva.

Breaking into view of the beach he skids to a halt, taking in the sight of Ashura standing... alone... Singed but alone. This wasn't quite what he had in mind when he saw that bird. Curious. He slips his hands into his pockets and walks forward, the sand crunching under his shoes]

That was quite a show.

Oh hai super spy friend

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ Ashura can hear him coming and at first he doesn't respond. His weight shifted, the tiniest bit, and then his knees gave and he fell into the sand. His hands came out to brace himself, centimeters from the cooling, jagged glass. The shaking was worse now, his body searching frantically for energy, breath coming in harsh panting, sweat dripping off his face and down his arms.}

He looked about five seconds away from all the way passing out. ]

Ohai thar

[last_rat_standing]

[Shit. He swore under his breath and ran the last few steps. He crouched beside him, wincing only slightly as he catches the man before he falls]

Are you hurt? [He looks Ashura over for any visible injuries. Other than the singing he looks just fine... could he have overtaxed himself with that talent of his?]

Long time no spy

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ Ashura looked at the other man as he was caught, golden eyes dark rather than their usual bright flare. He leaned against James, strength gone. ]}

Just... very tired, James.