paradisa | 2.3 ✞ written & dictated.

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abel nightroad

2.3 ✞ written & dictated.

[filter to: GALADRIEL]

[there are a few hesitation marks on the page, here; he had been mulling over what to say to her in return for the words she'd written for him -- ones he'd read over and over again along with Lilith's letter. in the end, he fails to produce half of the eloquence either of them possessed.

so, he goes with what's from the heart, instead.]

...Thank you.

[filter to: NANAKO]

Hey... Nanako -- are you maybe up for some ice cream? Maybe in town? I kind of feel like taking a walk, if you want to go with me! [not like he needs a reason to spoil her, but... you know, he has a feeling she could use it, too.]

[filter to: JOSHUA CHRISTOPHER]

[this takes a while to write as well, if for different reasons than the others before it. but eventually, the words find their way onto paper.]

Are you up for that game of chess?

[filter to: THE FREELANCERS; dictated.]

[well, it's a little late -- but Caterina had sent him on a mission, and he still had a job to do. so! he sounds cheerful and amicable, maybe a little sheepish as he starts talking:]

Ah-- I'm sorry for how random this must seem, but... my name is Father Abel Nightroad, and I'm a friend of York and Delta's? I'm sending you this message in hopes that we might be able to talk about Agent Maine's situation, as well as the issue of the armor. I know things are... rocky, at best right now -- and so I appreciate your taking the time to talk with me in advance.

[filter to: CATERINA, visible to TRES]

Caterina... are you in the mood for a walk? Tres, too.

There's something I want to show you in town.

[ooc: apologies for any slow tags in advanceeee]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[guess who totally forgot about their eminent tea-date? if you guessed this guy, you would be right.

Abel's occupied in the task he usually partakes in while in the church if no one else is there -- sitting in the back most row of pews and flipping quietly through the open journal on his lap. he must be distracted, since he doesn't seem to have heard the tell-tale creak of the church doors being pushed ajar.]

[Not wanting to disturb him, Ukitake takes a seat on the other side of the aisle, and puts the tea tray down next to him gently. There was beauty in silence, and if Abel needed some, He was not about to break it.]

[--ah. the clink of the tea tray is quiet, but pricks him as something that's, um. out of place in the silence -- not as commonplace as the doors opening as people went about their business, and he's lifting his head with a curious blink.

spotting the white-haired man there, an expression of surprise takes him before he has time to catch himself, the word leaving in familiarity.]

--Juu?

[He feels a bit awkward being addressed as such, but he did give the Father permission. It doesn't show though, and he turns and smiles to him.]

Hello. I'm sorry I wanted to give you some time if you were in prayer.

[...ah. catching sight of the tea already prepared, his memory jogs and the awkward surprise dissipates; he has the grace to look sheepish as he quickly closes the journal.]

No! No, I was just... [you know. not praying.] Please, make yourself at home. [gesturing him closer as if there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS AT ALL. there isn't, right? not like it's totally awkward or anything.]

[He senses the awkwardness, but chooses to ignore it. He picks up the tea tray.]

Did you have another place in mind or shall I find a closer bench?

It's kind of a nice view here, don't you think? [he gestures forward; it's the best seat in the house far as he's concerned. the church is laid out before them, and from this viewpoint, the sunlight coming through the stained glass is rather beautiful.

the awkward doesn't last too long; he had been taken by surprise, but... he has time to remind himself of his resolve. everything else gets tucked away underneath it nice and neatly.]

I think it's one of the best places in the castle to do some thinking.

[Ukitake stands and takes a seat next to Abel on his bench, bringing the tea tray with him. He balances it on his lap and starts making some tea.]

It is beautiful. I can see how one would want to spend time here.

[He hands Abel a full tea cup.]

...Then again, sometimes sharing your thoughts with others eases the weight of them.

[he takes the cup, looking into it for a moment -- just the smell is nostalgic and a little bit comforting. but, his eyes inevitably turn to the other man at that... uh, subtle prod.]

That's very true...

You know. [he shifts a bit, cupping his mug and seeming rather at ease about the whole affair.] ...there is a custom in Catholicism in which a man can confess his sins freely to a priest. The priest keeps everything he says with utter confidence for the whole of his life, and offers the confessor absolution in the form of penance to ease his soul.

[what? he's turning this around on you. it goes both ways, you know; always did.]

So maybe this place is just the right spot to ease a burdened soul, even if you don't find yourself a man of religion.

[...And who does the priest turn to, to unburden their soul, I wonder.]

Well... it's true I cannot call myself religious in the traditional sense. But if we're talking about having beliefs and values, you'll find I take those things seriously.

[He sighs, and gives a small cough before continuing.]

Now that I've said that, I suppose I should say that there are times I have regretted straying from those values.

[he's aware of Ukitake's moral fiber; he knows of few men with any stronger. it earns a thoughtful hum, before the last bit catches him by meager surprise.]

Straying?

...or being tempted to.

[He hesitates, looking down into his tea cup.]

It is difficult to think about, but I suppose that's the purpose of this kind of thing.

[Sips tea.]

At times, I have been forced to go against my better judgment, for the supposed greater good. These were times when there were no clear answers, as to what was right or wrong, really... still I wonder if things could have been done differently. Some wars, come to mind.

Other times... perhaps the opposite. Listening too much to my pride, and letting others d-- [clears his throat.] ...take the consequences for it.

That said... I don't believe in harboring these regrets, either.

[he looks into the surface of his tea cup again as Ukitake speaks. this is personal, isn't it? glossing over the surface of personal depths, things they might have spoken on, once. he doesn't know.

Abel pauses.]

...Whether we believe in God, or any god... or anything at all... I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Regrets or not... the past is important. I hardly need to tell someone like you that they teach us how to move forward. [to become better people, ideally... right? or perhaps merely how not to fail as badly, the next time around.]

...Indeed.

[He says his next few words softly.]

Sometimes, that moving forward part can be difficult, though.

[How long had he let the vice-captain seat remain empty? Going on fifty years or so...?]

...

[he watches him from peripheral vision. why was he...]

It's... easier. When we're not alone.

[Ukitake nods, and absentmindedly wipes away a bead of sweat from his forehead. He's quiet for another moment, then turns to the other man and gives a bittersweet smile.]

...I think that's what I've been trying to tell you, Father.

[chuckling a bit before shaking his head.]

It's a little hard to be 'alone' in a castle full of people in close quarters day in and out, you know. I think I have more friends here than at home! Not to mention that Caterina is here with me... as well as Father Tres and Sister Esther. I'm not the kind of man you need to worry about in those regards, hm?

[has he given him a reason? after all, being quiet was a staple of many residents in the castle -- his absence from the journals didn't have to be a sign anything was amiss. he had been careful about what he'd said and done since, too.]

That's might be true. In that regard, nobody here is alone, I guess.

[But making and keeping friends was a lot of how Ukitake functioned.]

Despite the fact that I could go on about how having people around you physically doesn't always mean they're with you in heart, I'll skip right to the point.

I believe that one can never have enough true friends to support you. I feel I owe it to myself - this former self, if you will - to maintain a friendship that was obviously an important one to both of us. I need to know what I am missing.

[Coughs once into his sleeve, then sips tea.]

...and you're certainly making that a bit difficult.

[He could tell, that while Abel was outwardly friendly, even when they did speak to each other, there was some sort of internal distance.]

[needs to... know what he's missing?

the smile dissolves at his lips a bit, his side-long gaze on the other man become a tad more visibly guarded and... perhaps, the something accompanying it is regret.]

...You think my heart isn't in it?

[that admittedly was... hard to hear. this whole thing was a hard situation, and one he hasn't had to deal with in this particular way before. people he had been exceptionally close with had gone home and returned without their memories before; Claire hadn't ever been as close to him the second time around. but Ukitake... from the start, it had been different. the sort of 'close' they had been was much different.]

[The way this man seemed to be in pain all the time when they spoke, hurt him. It was something he was trying to resolve. A long pause.]

I don't know. Is it?

[he rubs at his face, a bit.

maybe, despite his efforts... he was doing it all wrong. was he...? he didn't want to let him down... he did not want to be a disappointment to him, of all people.]

...You were my best friend. You were... family.

I don't know that we could ever reach that place again. And even if we did, it's... never going to be the same as it was, will it...? The events that brought us together in that way can't be duplicated. Even if I still trust you, even if... I still see you as that person, to you...

[he pauses, before... shaking his head.]

...I'm just the 'Father.'

You don't know anything for certain if you don't try. That's all I'm asking of you.

[A sigh.]

...My world teaches us that a person can be born anew upon their reincarnation. There's a part of them there, inside, that stays the same, even if the outward changes.

For you, I have changed. I'm not the person you remember and for that I am sorry.

[A pause.]

I also hold a more personal belief that there are some souls that travel together throughout this cycle of life and death.

[The next words are harder to say, and his voice wavers slightly - it would mean accepting this place more fully, and that was certainly not what he had set out to do.]

...perhaps I have come back for a reason.

...Do you see?

[he leans a little forward, resting an elbow on his knee and drawing himself into Ukitake's line of sight a bit with a small smile.]

It isn't that you've changed. You're still the same person, aren't you? Ukitake Juushiro; Shinigami and Captain of the Thirteenth division. You have a soft spot for children and a sweet tooth, and brew the best tea a man is likely to taste in... five hundred lifetimes, even! You have a big heart and you let it take in everyone around you... even if your pride dictates that your duty is one you have to return to despite whatever bonds you make here or anywhere else, for that matter.

I know you are here for a reason. But... this time around, maybe... I can say you forgot me-- and... everyone else for a reason, too. Maybe this time around... I am not supposed to be the person who you call your 'friend.'

[...'son.']

And if that's true, then... I'll still be your friend. It isn't as though I could let something like that really go, right...?

But I will never expect it to be like it was. Not for you, or for me. I wouldn't do that to you.

...Am I really all that?

[He chuckles and it turns into a cough. His breathing wasn't the best today, it seemed.]

Sorry.

[He takes a sip of tea and leans back against the pew.]

If we can't be the friends we were, we could at least try to find out what friends we can be. That's all I'm asking for.

[He reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a small bag of candies. He holds it out.]

Can I bribe you to at least have tea with me once in a while? And to hold a conversation where we can laugh, for once?

[he pauses a moment, looking at the extended offer. there's a tiny pause, before he gently takes it from him and pulls to his feet.]

Bribing a priest? Maybe I spoke too soon about the 'honorable' bits. [it's a tease.]

Stay here a second, would you? I have something for you.

sure :)

backdated to monday afternoon then :3

yes that :>

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