paradisa | ❀ Episode 11 ❀ [Dictated]

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rise kujikawa

❀ Episode 11 ❀ [Dictated]

[Filtered away from kids under 14]

[Rise's putting this under a filter, not because this doesn't affect kids, but there are certain kids she doesn't want hearing this. And she doesn't know everyone in the castle, so it's best to be safe and just keep it filtered to people close to her own age and above.]

I guess it's over, huh? They're gone...

[That's not how she wanted to begin, she's just thinking out loud. But now she's getting to the real reason she's putting her thoughts out to the castle as a whole again.]

... What's the point? Why do people keep dying? They'll just come back anyway, right? Why do they have to die at all?

[She gives a small sigh, and if you've never died and come back to life in Paradisa, that's all you'll hear. But she puts up one more filter.]

[Filtered to people who have died and come back]

I hate to ask when I probably don't even know any of you, but... do you remember dying?

It's just... some of the people who were... killed are my friends. I know they'll come back, but-

[Her voice is shaking now, and it sounds like she's trying desperately to keep herself from crying.]

It seems so terrible! Remembering something like that...

[She doesn't even want to think about it, she can't imagine they would!]

I don't know... this is all just so stupid!

[A few teardrops soak the pages of her journal, before she abruptly closes it. She'll check for replies soon, but for now, she needs a moment...]

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:33 < i remembered dying both times
:33 < but its not something i like to think about
:33 < its different fur everyone but i think it helps if they have someone with them when they wake up
:33 < i was lucky someone was there when i woke up

That sounds horrible... I wouldn't want to remember dying.

[But the stranger has given her something else to think about, too. Rise hasn't been told where people who die are taken, so...]

... How did you wake up? Where? I... I'd like to be there for someone, if it'll help...

[It's kind of terrifying, thinking about being there for someone when they come back to life after... that. She doesn't know if she can actually do it. But she wants to be there for her...]

:33 < last time a bunch of people died they put us in these weird pod things
:33 < chryochambers or something like that i think
:33 < i woke up while i was still in it so i guess we wake up wherever our bodies are now
:33 < i dont even really know how it happened, it just sort of did?
:33 < like when you wake up from sl33ping a really long time except you dont get to dream

Edited 2013-10-01 03:26 (UTC)

[Rise's getting a little choked up, thinking about Alex's body. But... if she has to be there...]

So, like... would there be somewhere their... [Nope, can't say it!] ... somewhere they'd be taken? After... everything?

[She's blunt about it only because she's still trying to work past it all.]

:33 < do you mean where the body would be taken while they are still dead?

[It's okay, Rise's still trying to figure out how she feels about all of this. So it doesn't hit her as hard as it normally would.]

...... Yeah...

:33 < well it all just depends on who finds them furst
:33 < like i said there are those pod things that k33p your body purrserved until they come back
:33 < or someone might take them to the clinic

I guess I'll have to find out... where she is, soon...

[She does not sound at all prepared for this. She can barely even deal with the fact that Alex is dead, even temporarily. Actively trying to find her body is just... too much.]

:33 < is this the furst time someone you know has died here?
:33 < its ok to be sad but they will come back
:33 < just be extra nice to them when they do

Yeah, it is.

[She's lost acquaintances here before, but never close friends.]

I'll try. She's... really special to me...

I remember dying.

It was like sleeping for a long time and you can't remember anything when you wake up.

Yeah, someone told me it's different for everyone.

... I hope it's like that for them. Even if the rest of us have to remember...

...You remember after a while. I meant, there's a haze over your memory. And then it disappears.

[Well, that sucks even more! But she doesn't say that. She just... sighs.]

Either way, it's stupid! It just shouldn't happen...

...Memory loss?

People dying here!

...Without it, we won't realize how precious life is.

[Chell catches the first filter but not the second.]

I agree. It is so stupid. But if peaks in emotion give this place its power... then maybe it feeds off the grief of those left behind?

[That's a truly sinister thought.]

I hate this place.

... Yeah. I hate it when it does stuff like this, too.

[Chell sighs.]

And so many people are either gone or...

... At least when they leave, they get to go home...

[It's obvious she's still sad about people leaving, but there's at least a bright side to that one. People dying just sucks all around. Even if they do come back.]

I'll agree with that. God you sound like you need a hug.

[Yes, she wants to hug you, Rise.]

... Kinda. I guess.

[She's far past having any filters now, so she just says her first thought. And who wouldn't need a hug after losing the girl they sort of kind of really like a lot? It might not be forever, but she still hates thinking that Alex had to go through that.]

Where are you? I'll come hang out with you if you like.

[And she'll be bringing chocolate and a shoulder for you to cry on if you need it.]

[Every single part of that would be greatly appreciated at this point.]

Really?

I'm in my room. 725. ... If you're not busy, or anything...

[And a few minutes later, there's a hesitant tap on Rise's door, and a Chell outside carrying a large box of chocolate confectionaries. She smiles at Rise.]

It's good to see you!

[Rise gives her best attempt at a friendly smile, which is actually pretty impressive given everything she's been going through.]

Hey! Come on in...

[She'll lead Chell over to the giant pillow she still has in her room, sitting down on the edge of it. She hadn't expected Chell to be carrying a box like that, so she's waiting for the other girl to get settled in.]

I wish I knew, myself.

[Bitter? Her? Well, that's a definite change of pace. She sighs, and when she talks again, her voice is softer]

But what about you? How are you holding up?

[That tone in Utena's voice at first kind of shocked Rise! Which might have been a good thing. It distracted her from being sad. And by the time she's caught up, Utena's voice is much more soothing...]

I'm okay... at least I'm alive, right?

[She's trying to make light of things. Just to show she's okay. But she clearly isn't.]

... Neechan... [She's not teasing with the 'big sister' nickname. In fact, her voice is almost pleading.] ... one of the people who died...

[She hesitates. She wants to tell someone, but... she's not even sure what she would say just yet.]

They...

[she hesitates, but not for long. When the silence ends, she speaks slowly, carefully]

...it was somebody you knew, wasn't it?

Well... yeah, but...

[She actually knew at least two of the victims, and she was just as shaken with Sheena as with everyone else she's ever lost. Even just for two weeks. But Alex in particular...]

... Promise you won't think it's weird?

[Forces a smile, and tries to sound upbeat]

To be honest, I doubt anything you say is going to be weirder than what the castle's already tossed at us. You don't have anything to worry about, I promise.

[If there's anyone she'd trust with this in the whole castle, it'd be Utena. She'll just... make sure to filter it first.]

Alex-chan... she... um...

[Wow this was a lot easier to explain in her head! She takes a deep breath before her second attempt, and just ends up blurting it out.]

We... kissed once. And it was really nice and I kind of really like her, so...

[Then the sadness creeps back in. Before she can even let it really sink in exactly what she's admitting.]

... Why did it have to happen to her...?

[Utena's eyes widen, and she's silent as she takes in what, exactly, Rise said. However, she doesn't comment on the kiss - it's surprising, sure, but... well, is it really that weird? And besides, there's more important things here than just a kiss. So, when she speaks again, her tone is sympathetic, not shocked]

...I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know her, but I know that nobody deserved what happened to them. But...

[hesitates]

...but she's coming back, right? I know that doesn't make it easy, but- I guess what I mean is, once she comes back here, she's going to need somebody by her side.

Yeah... she's coming back, but... it's still so horrible...

[She sighs, carrying notes of sadness, but also resignation and a bit of determination.]

I'll do anything to help her once she's back. Anything I can...

Even just making her smile again might be enough...

[At least, she hopes so. It'd make her happier, at least.]

{ooc: In other news, I lost track of my tag on that shopping log for an entire freaking month somehow. >_> Did you still want to continue that or just handwave what we talked about?}

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❀ Episode 11 ❀ [Dictated]

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Death filter

filter into eternity~

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Filtered to Rise

Forever filtered~

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[Utena]

[Rise]

[Utena]