1.00% | dictated

[magnets]

[ It's been a while since Jesse's showed up, propped up against a wall and jarring awake like someone's hit him. There's a lot of shock, a lot of wandering, he even lights himself a cigarette before he gets to the journal and seats himself on the floor, cross-legged, ash lightly sprinkling on the page. ]

The hell is this, they give- [ It starts cutting in and out as he flips the pages, opens and closes the book. ] -write my feelings in some damn- [ Close, open. ] -creep-ass-

[ Open. ]

Oh, yeah, yeah, let's just not even tell the guy, let's just sit him in some damn fancy-shmancy fuckin' hotel and not even let him - Hah, not even tell what the hell's happening, that's great, let's not even let him pack or anythin', just kidnap him and throw him to the buzzards, yeah, yeah, let's pull some roadkill, old Western crap. [ With silk sheets and fancy furniture. Hmm. ]

Screw this, I'm checkin' the place out, bullshit, this is bullshit.

Comments

[indirectcause]

Way to be a dick, dude.

And the sky's blue.

[magnets]

Hey, I could'a done worse. I could'a asked you how many times ya whacked off a week.

So what happens if you don't know what you're missin'?

[indirectcause]

...Yeah, please don't do that.

I guess you just have to keep trying things until you work it out. Unless it's a memory, then those are more tricky. Especially if you've not got anyone from back home to clue you in that you're missing something you should remember.

[magnets]

[ Memories. Right. He'd heard about that. And he keeps getting these inconsistencies in the back of his head, shit he doesn't understand. Worries him a little. ]

There's no other way to get 'em back besides that? [ Not that he -- Oh, he's implying. ] I mean, whatever you lost.

[indirectcause]

I asked about it when I first realised what mine was. Sometimes, losses change, sometimes when people get knocked unconscious for a week or some shit. But there's no guarantee, and you never know if your new loss will be even worse than the one you've already got.

[magnets]

-- Okay, so why's everybody sayin' this is like the greatest place to live, like it's some kinda resort or something, when all this screwed up crap is goin' on around here? What am I gonna lose next, like an arm or somethin'?

[indirectcause]

It's still better than most places, the loss is a price some of us are willing to pay.

And I'm pretty sure you don't lose limbs here.

...Pretty sure. [Comforting, Ben, comforting]

[magnets]

[ So comforting. ]

Oh, great. You've really -- like, reassured me. I'm feelin' the reassurance.

[indirectcause]

Reassurance isn't something you get all that much when you live in a soul eating castle, man.

[magnets]

You could, like, try. Trying works.

[ Though he really doesn't want the worst of it watered down. Being surprised by absolute bullshit is quite possibly the worst. ]

[ He sounds slightly more sobered after a beat when he starts to point out, begrudgingly: ] I feel like I got pieces missin' outta my head. Guess I definitely got that memory thing goin' on, huh?

[indirectcause]

I can't lie, remember? That sort of shit doesn't work for me any more.

Yeah, sounds like it. Sorry man, that must suck.

[magnets]

Whatever. [ He doesn't care. He doesn't care! He's trying not to care. ] I'll figure it out.

[ Sure. ]

Jesus, your shit's got a wide spread, huh?

[indirectcause]

It's a pain in the ass, that's for sure.