paradisa | ❀ Episode 12 ❀ [Dictated] - backdated to October 24th

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rise kujikawa

❀ Episode 12 ❀ [Dictated] - backdated to October 24th

[Rise's sitting quietly on her bed this evening, reading the letter Chie left her. And looking at the family photo of them with Shiori. ... Not the one from Shiori's real family, but one they took together while she was here.

Someone else already announced Chie's departure, but that's not what she plans to talk about today. Not exactly. Chie was just the latest in a long string of lost friends... and not even the worst of them. She'll miss her a lot, but they'll see each other again when Rise goes home. The rest, she might never see again. And she never got to say goodbye to any of them.]

Hey... does anyone here ever feel like they'll be here forever?

Like, I know we all get sent back someday. But after seeing so many people come here and then leave... doesn't it kinda start to feel like it'll never end?

And what if you don't want to leave? I know a lot of terrible things happen, but...

[She hesitates, taking a second or two to really think about it before continuing.]

... Has anyone ever met someone that made them want to stay? Even just a little bit?

[She's not thinking about anyone in particular, nope. There's no reason she needs to get that thought off her chest and maybe hear what everyone else has to say about it. None whatsoever.

She just has a lot of conflicting thoughts when she really thinks about all of this, okay?]

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I'm starting to feel that way a little, yeah. I mean, I know a year and change isn't long compared to the stays some people have had, but still...

I haven't even been here that long! I'm just... not sure how I feel about all this anymore, y'know?

So many people have come here and didn't even make it a whole year...

[A lot of really close friends and people she really wanted to get to know better were among them, too.]

Yeah... and not a whole lot of others are coming in to replace the ones that left. Not that that's a bad thing, necessarily, considering the worlds some people have come from...

[She pauses, considering what to write next.]

I sometimes have to keep telling myself that this place isn't my real home. I've made a life here and done the best I can, but it's not home. Not truly.

Yeah... I know what you mean...

[She doesn't even think about Inaba much anymore. It's just kind of become a fact of life that she'll go back there someday, but she can't control when. She probably won't even see it coming.]

... I just wish we could really say goodbye, whenever we go...

[Leaving behind letters is nice, but it's just not the same.]

I've seen a lot of people who were here longer than me vanish lately. I think I'm the second longest serving resident now. And trust me, I have no intentions of leaving if I have anything to do with it.

People come and go all the time, life is much like that too, only occasionally less abrupt.

Yeah... at least you get the chance to spend time with people who were here before you. But what about the ones that come and leave after only a little while?

... I know Ino-chan was here a really long time. I wonder how many friends she lost...

[Rise doesn't know yet that she's been here before, too. And Ino was friends with Chie before either of them arrived this year. That's a whole topic she hasn't even considered in all of this... that if you stay long enough, you might see people come back.]

She lost a lot of them. But she got new ones. Hell, she got some of the old ones back. Not all of them remembered her, but they still came back. The castle has old favourites it returns to.

Like the angel I know back home. This will be his fifth time coming here, I think. Since I've been here, anyway.

[There's silence on her end for a moment, because wow. Five times?! And that's just that he knows of!]

So, like... there's always a chance we'll see them again while we're here. If you think about it that way...

[It's not much, and she doesn't know what the chances really are. But it's some consolation.]

There is. I've seen plenty of people be pulled back. Of course, some go and never come back again. You just have to rely on the whims of the castle on that one.

I guess...

[Relying on the whims of the castle isn't a very encouraging idea after recent events. But who really knows what might happen?]

I'll probably get used to it, huh? If I stay here long enough.

[Not that it'll hurt any less, suddenly losing friends like this.]

Perhaps. Perhaps you won't. It depends on what sort of person you are, end of the day.

[There's a long pause. Did she close her journal?]

... I don't know if I'd want to or not...

[These are deep thoughts, okay? She's still only seventeen... some days she feels even younger. In the non-castle-messing-with-her sense. And some days she feels like a grownup too, but this isn't one of those days.]

That's a wise decision, really. Best to never settle one way or the other, that way you can never be too disappointed or even heartbroken when things don't go the way you'd like.

[Aww... Rise. :( Sugar feels bad because the castle took away Rise's friends again. There must be something she can do to cheer her up.

As she listens to Rise talk to the journal, she has an idea! Sugar flies over to hover between Rise and journal, then tries to put on the biggest smile she can manage right now.]

I know I did!

[Aww, Sugar... Rise didn't mean to trouble her little roommate with all of this, too! She didn't even know the little fairy was awake!

Sugar gets a pretty big smile out of Rise too, though. As the bigger girl sets her journal aside and holds out her hand for Sugar to land on.]

Did you, Sugar-chan? They must be really important to you!

[She can't resist a little good-natured teasing. Pretending she doesn't even have a suspicion of who this person might be. After all, she'd say the same sort of thing if it were Sugar feeling down about losing so many friends...]

Yeah, I have.

... Someone really important?

[Her voice is a little hesitant. She doesn't want to pry, but that response really caught her attention! Plus, she asked a lot of questions, looking back at her entry. Best to make sure she's understanding this right...]

Yeah, someone I... someone I thought I'd lost.

You're from the same world...? Or were they here before?

[She's being very careful in the questions she asks, because this sounds like a kinda touchy subject and she doesn't want to bring up anything too painful. But he's talking to her about it, so... hopefully it's not that bad.]

Someone from my world.

I guess it's like a second chance, you might as well take advantage of it right...

Yeah... I think I'd feel the same way.

[There's a pause as she thinks about that. If only she had someone back home... ~~that she didn't forget because of her loss~~...

But then she wouldn't start maybe possibly feeling that way about someone here.]

What if... it wasn't someone from your world? Would it be any different?

[~~You mean like him and Nat before Tex showed up~~]

Why would it be different? Unless, they're like a talking lion or something.

[Don't make her giggle when she's trying to be sad, Church! (No, really, she appreciates it...)]

Well, I don't think she's a talking lion, so I'm safe there!

[Whoops. Did she mean to share specifics?]

Oh yeah... got a special someone then?

I... I dunno...

[Her blush is practically audible in her tone. Church has managed to get her mind off of Alex's current state, at least, but she's still kind of awkward about this question.

Better awkward than depressed, though.]

We... kind of kissed already...

[Rise, why are you sharing these details with Church of all people?! Even though he did just kind of cheer you up a bit...]

Oh ho... really now. [Friendly teasing tone and chuckle.]

[And now she realizes what a horrible mistake she's made. ... Well, maybe not that horrible. But she hadn't meant to be so open about it, either!]

Ah... well...

It's, um... not really official or anything! I mean... I probably shouldn't have said...

[Enjoy this while you can, Church, not many people get to see (or hear) Rise this flustered.]

[oh the chuckling.]

Don't worry I'm not going to go blabbing to anyone.

[ It's been a long week of hearing people's voices that he hasn't heard in over a year. He opens up a filter simply because this sounds way too personal not to. ]

I think... I'd suggest not getting too comfortable with that feeling.

But it's strange. When I came back I was hit with how horribly I missed someone from my world who's still here.

[Whoa hey! She... hadn't noticed Sirius was back yet. She only just learned that people even could come back, though it's pretty obvious when you really think about it. But wow. Talk about a living example.

She's still a little stunned when she finally manages to reply.]

... You didn't get to see them when you went back?

It's... kind of a different situation back there.

[ His boyfriend isn't his boyfriend back home, is what he's not saying here. ]

Oh...

[She might not get the full meaning, but she certainly knows how complicated things can get. Yukiko, for instance. After they kissed under castle influence, they got a lot closer. But not like that. It was just... something that forced them to really look at their relationship. She's afraid she won't ever have that with Yukiko, or Chie, once she goes back home.]

... It feels like there's a lot that happens here that we'd never have to deal with if we stayed...

There's... someone I want to spend a lot of time here with because I'll never be able to have that again when I go back home.

Sure. I wouldn't mind staying here.

Really? ... Is it because of someone important to you?

[Even if it's not the only reason... she wants to know if anyone else has that same feeling she's starting to think she might be having.]

It is.

[His reason for staying. His reason for living. His reason to be happy. Pretty much everything, really]

[The way he says it sounds so nice. So certain, too. Rise isn't even sure if Alex is that someone for her yet, but... she wants the chance to find out.]

How long have you been here together?

A year? Year and a half maybe? [Depends on whether she's counting the together part and the time between then and when Vicious showed up that he was either hiding from the man or contemplating revenge]

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❀ Episode 12 ❀ [Dictated] - backdated to October 24th

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