Seventy Third Sip

[mal_addict]

[Maladict has not been a fan of this world change. Not one bit. The dress had been the first thing to go, luckily her dear 'husband' had clothes she could steal. Clothes that were too big for her, certainly, but at least they weren't dresses with vomit-inducing floral print on them.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the second she stepped outside, one of the neighbours had joked that a "little woman" like herself shouldn't be dressing like that, and whatever flights of fantasy will she get in her silly little head this time? Gosh, Maybe she should scoot back to the kitchen and whip up a nice pot roast.

The neighbour stopped laughing shortly after Maladict inserted a lawn flamingo in a rather unfortunate place on his person and suggested he keep his comments to himself.

And now, Maladict is sitting in the living room, watching the creepy, smiling children who she assumed belonged to her and Nikola by the way they kept calling them "Mom and Pop", hating everything about her current situation]

It's good to know that the castle can always be relied on to make a stupid holiday even stupider every year.

...

Does anyone want some extra children? Mine keep expecting me to feed them or something.

Comments

[Dictated]

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

[Equius had not been doing much better. Having woken up suddenly as a human once again was the first sign something was wrong. The next was discovering that he was in some sort of twisted, human family. With his strength gone, Equius was more than frustrated by everything that was happening.]

So, I am not the only one still possessing their true mind.

forever!

[mal_addict]

Glad to know there's at least us. Nikola's himself too, for all the good it does us.

How're you holding up, kid?

and ever!

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

[There's a mix of an annoyed grunt and a sigh.]

I am fine, apart from being a human once again. Plus I have been unceremoniously thrust in what is apparently a normal, human family.

[It confuses him. Deeply.]

[mal_addict]

Yes, the human thing is always painfully irritating.

And trust me, this is not a normal human family. This is...something else.

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

It really is. [Another grunt of annoyance. He was nobility gosh darn it. He shouldn't be subjected to this.]

There is no doubt in my mind that this is far from normal, despite my admittedly low knowledge of human life. Troll life is so much more simple.

[mal_addict]

Yes, from what I understand of it, it very much is. [She lets out of soft sigh] At least it can't last forever.

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

Hopefully it wont.

I would rather not have to deal with two parental figures and my moirail as a sibling.

[mal_addict]

Ah. That must be very awkward.

[dictated]

[both_neither]

Oh don't be silly. Do you need some recipes ideas? I have a few I can show you.

[As if Mal hadn't suggested giving her children away]

[dictated]

[mal_addict]

[Oh no, it got GREN]

...That's not funny.

[dictated]

[both_neither]

Baking dilemmas are never a laughing matter. [Completely serious and yet utterly cheerful at the same time]

[dictated]

[mal_addict]

...Well bollocks, it got you, too.

And they are a laughing matter because they're trivial, pointless things.

[dictated]

[both_neither]

What got me? [There's not really any curiosity in the question. It's more like reflex, as if Gren isn't really hearing her]

Tell you what, I'll pop over and show you a new recipe. I know just the thing to keep their bellies full and the mouths quiet.

[dictated]

[mal_addict]

...Yeah let's not. I'l give them to the crazy lady who actually wants to adopt them.

[dictated]

[both_neither]

Oh Mal, you're so funny. [The denial is strong in this one]

[dictated]

[mal_addict]

...Yeah, I'm a real hoot.

[peggy_carter]

I... I know you must be speaking in the heat of the holiday but if you do need a..let's say break from the children I'd be happy to watch them. Steve and I never had the chance you see, so it would be no trouble. The house can be so big and empty without renters.

[mal_addict]

[Maladict can sense a sucker here]

Really? You can keep them, if you're that desperate. Tell them me and their not-father died in a horrible accident or something.

[peggy_carter]

I'm sure you don't really mean that, but given the mood I'd be happy to watch the children. I can be over whenever is convenient to gather up their things and bring them to the house.

[mal_addict]

I really do mean that. With all my cold, unbeating heart.

Come right away. Instantly. Just come.

[peggy_carter]

I... well I'll be by shortly. I just need to dress and will need to stop at the store of course. I don't think I have suitable sweets for children. Oh, I can have the store run by a few things I suppose.

Shall we say twenty minutes and I can be by?

[mal_addict]

...They need sweets?

Sure, that works for me, so long as they're removed, knock yourself out.

[peggy_carter]

Well not need, but they should have treats and proper food.

I'll be over straight away.

[mal_addict]

...Yeah, how silly of me to forget. [Or neglect to care. Whichever]

[peggy_carter]

Think nothing of it, I'll pop right on over.


(OOC: handwave the migration of the munchkins?)

[mal_addict]

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ooc:>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<ooc: fine by me :D>

[toobravehearted]

[Well, if that isn't holiday cheer... (No, what he heard definitely isn't). He would have been able to respond to this sooner as he was fetching the newspaper from the porch in his dressing gown, but he was side-tracked with assisting a poor unfortunate neighbour extract what was a pink flamingo from a rather painful area. When that little bit of drama is done:]

Er, children do tend to expect food, yes.

...Please tell me you are feeding them?

[mal_addict]

I gave them a bowl of apples.

Children like apples, right?

[toobravehearted]

I suspect that most do, yes. But children like other things as well. They aren't pets.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're not adjusting to the holiday spirit, madam.

[mal_addict]

It's not my holiday so I don't see why I should.

[toobravehearted]

It's not mine, either, but when in Rome. Or, you know, Connecticut. There's no rule that says one can't join in with Earth holidays or customs once in a while.

Do you have something similar to it where you're from? And, hello. I'm the Doctor. I'll have to ask your name if you'll be so kind to give it, because I can't possibly keep calling you madam.

[mal_addict]

There isn't a rule, but I don't want to do it. That's good enough reason for me.

We have Hogswatch, and it's very similar. Annoyingly similar, in fact.

...Maladict. Corporal Maladict.

[toobravehearted]

Well, each to their own and yes, I think I might understand. Annoyingly similar to be too much of a reminder, perhaps?

Ah, Corporal Maladict. It is good to meet you. A military person I hear?

[mal_addict]

Something like that. It's like having something from home distorted into something...wrong.

[She makes a softly amused sound. How long that rank will last back home, she doesn't know, but she'll cling to it as best she can.] Before I arrived here, anyway.

[toobravehearted]

Those that celebrate Christmas would no doubt think the same of Hogswatch if they're as similar as you say.

[The amused sound he hears.] I'm sorry? I'm not sure I understand the humour. Unless you're being wry and then-- No. I still don't understand. You expect to leave the military life?

[mal_addict]

No doubt they would. Earth people are very pushy like that.

Not precisely. But before I came here, I was facing court martial.

[toobravehearted]

Mm, that trait doesn't belong just to the Earthlings.

Oh. I see. [He won't ask. No. No, he won't. None of his business.] What happened for you to be facing a court martial? [Bugger. At least he didn't ask out-right what she did.]

[mal_addict]

No, but they have it the most, I've found.

[That's cute, and she gives a laugh at it.] So bold, to ask.

Mostly I got it for pretending to be a man and joining the army. My country has laws against women being people.

[toobravehearted]

I'd beg to differ, but that's just me.

[At her laugh he makes a slightly embarrassed cough.]

Quite an outdated law then if I say so myself. Archaic, actually.

[mal_addict]

No doubt.

Yes, the rest of my planet is far more...in with the times. Mine is run by a dead, crazy God and His followers, so really it's not that surprising.