Chapter Seventeen [Action/Written, forward-dated slightly to tomorrow]

[thebestseller]

Written, filtered to Kate Beckett

Kate? I haven't been able to find you since things went all Leave It To Beaver-ville on us. Are you okay?

Action, forward-dated to December 23rd

[Well, hadn't that been a blast from the past? But now that things were back to normal in Paradisa, Castle couldn't find Kate. It shouldn't have been that difficult, considering that they lived together, and yet there was no response from her. She hadn't gone home, since her name was still there...

And then he finally understood when he found a mockup of a Nikki Heat book on his nightstand. She'd become fiction. It was one of those losses that sometimes happened, but Castle wished it didn't have to happen NOW.

In a fit of very un-holidaylike grumpiness, Castle had wished up an unadorned metal pole and gone to the lobby, spending some time setting it up and hanging a sign next to it reading "HAPPY FESTIVUS!"]

Written, December 23rd

Paradisa, I am disappoint. We got sent back in time to the 50's and not any of the other nice suggestions everyone else provided? Unless something happens in the next week or so, I guess the betting pool for this month is a bust.

[A pause and some pen taps before he continues:]

Kate Beckett's gone missing. Not missing as in gone-home, but I think she's having one of those temporary losses that's turned her into an inanimate object. The place could have picked a better time to do it, but oh well. It's a Festivus miracle. I'll be silently airing my grievances into a pint of my own beer.

[Open to either action or written responses. Also, for those who are wondering what the heck Castle is on, here is an explanation. A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US]

Comments

Dictated forever

[mal_addict]

I'll keep an eye out for any strange inanimate objects moving about the place, then.

...What's Festivus?

Forever

[thebestseller]

I think I may know where she is, actually. She's where I can keep an eye on her.

Festivus is... the anti-Christmas, if you will. It started off as a joke on a TV show, but turned into a thing people actually celebrate.

[mal_addict]

And not a cardborad cut-out, I hope?

Oh. Well that sounds much more agreeable. Nothing to compare to Hosgwatch, mind you, but it has to be better than Christmas.

[thebestseller]

Not this time, thankfully.

Normally I'm a huge fan of Christmas, but... this is the first one I'll have spent without my daughter. And since Kate's AWOL, that dampens my Christmas spirit a bit. So screw it- it's Festivus for the rest of us.

[mal_addict]

Ah well. If you like, you're welcome to spend Hogswatch with me. It's not as fancy, but I'm sure you'll find the vast amount of alcohol and cooked meats agreeable.

[thebestseller]

If there's meat and booze involved, count me in. You're a good friend.

[mal_addict]

Never forget that fact. And yes, lots of booze and meat.

[thebestseller]

I will forever engrave it in my thoughts.

Booze is always an acceptable way to spend one's time. Except for hangovers, but I try to hold myself back.

[mal_addict]

I'll take your word on that one.

[thebestseller]

Not a drinker, hmm?

[mal_addict]

Vampires of my world can't abide alcohol. "I don't drink...vine" and all that.

[thebestseller]

I see, I see. Which is why you imbibe coffee instead, I am guessing?

[mal_addict]

No, I imbibe coffee because I substitute it for blood.

[thebestseller]

Well, thank goodness that's possible.

[mal_addict]

For vampires of my world, at least.

[thebestseller]

And I'm sure a lot of us are thankful for that. You know, your world sounds like a pretty great place.

[mal_addict]

That's because it is a pretty great place.

[thebestseller]

Kinda makes me wish there was a way for us to go visit each other. Of course, my world's pretty boring compared even to Paradisa...

[mal_addict]

I think most people here would do or say something stupid and get themselves killed in five minutes or less if they entered my world.

[thebestseller]

That's... actually pretty true. I can't say that even I would be immune to that.

[mal_addict]

But take heart in knowing that at least you'd be in a majority.

[thebestseller]

Touche. And I know I have an insatiable desire to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, so at least I fully accept the danger.

[mal_addict]

You'd make an excellent Watchman. I hear that;s the type they look for.

[thebestseller]

Watchman, eh?

[mal_addict]

Police, you know.

[thebestseller]

Well, I do work with the cops back home, so it seems like a natural extension.

[mal_addict]

There you are, then. Perfect place for you.

[thebestseller]

As long as I can be the plucky comic relief sometimes, I'm golden.

[mal_addict]

I'm sure they have room for someone like that.

[thebestseller]

Good. It'll be nice to have a role I can easily slide into.

Action!

[princelyspirit]

[Aaand she's out of Christmas Card, USA, and not a moment too soon! She has her old hair back, her old clothes back, and she hasn't been turned into a deer or a doll or anything weird like that... all in all, things are pretty good, by Paradisa's standards. Then, she sees the pole.]

Huh...

[Wanders up, fiddling with the sign a bit]

Kinda funny for a Christmas ornament, isn't it?

[Speaking to herself more than anything. But, hey, maybe this is how they celebrate the holidays in some places. Or maybe this is a non-Earth holiday. Or maybe it's just a joke. Who knows! It is a mystery.]

Action!

[thebestseller]

[Castle sighs as he straightens the pole a little bit, as it's wobbly.]

Of a sort, though it's mot like an... opposite-of-Christmas thing. Festivus. It's a holiday from my world people celebrate instead of or in addition to Christmas, particularly if they're not feeling particularly full of holiday spirit.

[princelyspirit]

[And she lets the pole be, lest she knocks it over completely. And...who's this guy again? She stares at him for a moment as she tries to-oh! It's the coffee guy. Or the anti-coffee guy now. Er, bet guy? Yeah, that works]

Huh... so, it's just kind of a big joke, right? Like you're making fun of all the holiday stuff you're stuck with.

[thebestseller]

Pretty much.

[He sighs.]

Normally I'm not this much of a grouch about the holidays, but my girlfriend's on some weird loss, and this is the first one I've spent without my daughter since she was born, so... [Castle looks awkwardly at his feet.]

[princelyspirit]

[She's about to commiserate about weird losses, but after he mentions his daughter... well, it doesn't feel quite right.]

Hey, look at it this way - losses don't last forever, right? So your girlfriend's going to be back any minute now! So... maybe you can try and plan something for when she's back to normal? I mean, it'll be a late Christmas, but that's better than no Christmas.

[Not that she knows much about Christmas - unless you've got a date or you're still little enough to believe in Santa, it's just not a big deal where she's from. But, she does know a thing or two about celebrations, at least]

[thebestseller]

[Castle smiles a little at that.]

I really do hope she'll be back to normal soon. I did want to have a Christmas party, but, well, being sent back to the 1950's kind of put the kibosh on that. [He rubs the back of his head.] Either way, I guess she wouldn't want to come back to finding out I was being a Grinch in her absence, though...

[princelyspirit]

[Once Castle smiles, she perks up a bit, too]

Well, how about a New Year's Eve party? If she's back by then, I mean. I know not everyone around here celebrates Christmas, but I think most people have some kind of New Year's...thing back where they come from. And hey, at least we won't have to worry about going back in time again.

[thebestseller]

[Castle rubs his chin.]

You know, that's not a bad idea. If we're all going to be here another year, might as well try to kick it off with a bang, right?

[princelyspirit]

Exactly! And it wouldn't be just a party for the new year - we'd be celebrating how we survived the last one.

[thebestseller]

That survival did seem tenuous sometimes, didn't it? ... You know, come to think of it, I'm approaching a year here myself, too.