ninth.

[eaglet]

[Connor sounds slightly out of breath when he dictates into the journal, mostly because it's so cold outside but also because he's been working pretty hard out there.]

Before I came to this world, I had left my village for six months. I have now been in this place for nine. There are still things I do not understand about both this world and the world outside my village, but I am learning, I think. And there is much to learn.

I have been interested in exploring the Dead Zone again. The god of this place has the power to move us and to transform our surroundings, but I would like to explore on my own terms. There is much to learn here amongst each other, but I feel as though there is even more to learn out there.

[Connor can be found on the castle lawn, packing a long wall of snow about a foot tall, taking care to carve a furrow down the middle. He has acquired some gloves that don't really match the rest of his outfit -- they have a reflective strip down the side and are also neon pink.]

Comments

[eaglet]

[He frowns.] Of course I do. It is part of being free, to understand others' beliefs -- but even if you understand them, it does not mean you must also believe them.

[molotov]

There's no force involved. Part of being free is also the ability to change one's beliefs. Perhaps the other ideas make more sense to them.

[eaglet]

[Still frowning... the idea of his people turning from their beliefs is troubling to him, though she's shut him down about that before, so he doesn't say anything.]

Perhaps. Is this what happened to you? The reason you do not believe in a god?

[molotov]

Nyet. I was raised that way. And no amount of hearing about gods have made me believe in them.

[eaglet]

I do not think any amount of hearing of how they do not exist will make me believe as such, either.

[molotov]

And you are free to have your wrong purview. No one is forcing you to believe otherwise.

[eaglet]

[Fuckin'... stop it... Connor bristles -- he went so long in this conversation without bristling, but there he goes.]

I do not call your beliefs wrong. You have no right to say such a thing to me.

[molotov]

I do, because your beliefs are wrong. If they were right, there would be proof, there would not be evidence to the contrary. You can believe the sky is neon green all you want, but you would still be wrong, because it is obviously blue.

[eaglet]

You do not even know what my beliefs are. Or is it that everyone who does not believe the same as you is wrong? What a burden you must carry to always be right and to be all-knowing.

[He shoves the cookie back in her hands and moves around to the other side of the snow track.]

[molotov]

[Molotov just sets her bag of treats down. He'll want them later, he's a teenaged boy. This done, she just lights a cigarette, utterly unfazed by his rustled jimmies.]

Everyone who believes in any kind of god is wrong, so I do not need to know what specific one you believe in. Science and academia back me up, so you can be as pissy as you want, Connor, but you are following faith instead fact. That is your choice.

[eaglet]

[He scowls at her, gesturing widely with his arm, posture stiff.]

And what am I to do? Bow down and thank you for enlightening my poor, misguided soul? People are free to believe as they wish -- but these are only hollow, pretty words if you insist upon telling them how wrong and primitive they are in the same breath. It is your choice to be arrogant and self-righteous.

[molotov]

You overestimate how much I care. I only said something because we are having this discussion. I can tell you that you are wrong, but I cannot force you to see the light, nor do I care to. Believe whatever you want. Am I supposed to thank you for all these little speeches from the mouth of a babe? You know nothing about the world, about the horrors that people commit in the name of gods and beliefs. Oh, wait, but you do, don't you? And still you ramble on about this.

I don't do those things, not anymore. I do not give a fuck what anyone believes. Have fun with your little game, Connor.

[And she's heading off. She's so sick of having this fight with him.]

[eaglet]

[Then maybe she should stop telling him his religious beliefs are wrong. Just a thought, Molotov!

Anyway, no, fuck her. He isn't going to let her get the last word, so he storms after her.]

You think I do not understand how the world works, how the Jesuits seduce my people and have them live in poverty all for the sake of their Christian god? You think you are doing me a favour by belittling me and telling me that your way is the only true way, and all others live in darkness? You think these words are not arrogant?

Stop telling people they are wrong simply because their beliefs do not align with yours. It will not earn you friendship.

[molotov]

[Molotov spins to abruptly shove at his shoulder when he follows her. This does approximately nothing, since he's already bigger than she is, but it's the message that matters.]

You do not want to be my friend? Fine, like I care. Arrogance means nothing, call me that all you want. Your people are not being converted by atheists, and they are choosing to follow another false god. What would change in your world if you gave up believing in magical sky people and accepted responsibility for your own actions? Like I said, child, believe whatever you want, but that does not make it right.

And don't follow me.

[eaglet]

[Connor frowns at the shove, stumbling backwards a step, but he frowns even more when she says she doesn't even care about being friends with him. Then why did she even bother being nice to him in the first place?

He's quiet, looking down at her, then spreads both hands down at his sides, palms forward. It's just proving all his insecurities and fears right; there's no one here who understands him and no one who bothers to try. He's alone.]

If I mean so little to you.

[molotov]

[Molotov goes quiet too. She has such a nasty habit of saying things she doesn't really mean when she's agitated, and this is one that she immediately regrets, if only because it's so obvious how much it hurt him.]

Connor, no, I... I did not mean it like that. You said you didn't want to be my friend. I think of you like my... my friend, you know.

[Isn't it obvious? Molotov spent a week caring for him like he was her own son, while Ezio galavanted around Stepford with little regard to his fake family.]

We cannot agree on everything. And... and I know I can be harsh. But you cannot get so angry all the time, you know.

[eaglet]

[He's still frowning, but now he's just standing there a little awkwardly, too. He always feels more fluid when he's angry about something, when he can gesture and move -- now his hands hang limply at his sides and he doesn't know what to do with them.]

And you as well. Harshness does not engender friendship, Molotov.

[If you don't have anything nice to say....!!! In other words.]

[molotov]

[She understands the feeling -- case in point, her arms are now awkwardly crossed over her chest as she gives a shrug.]

Everyone has things to work on.

[eaglet]

[Then work harder, is what he wants to say, but he should probably also practice what he preaches.]

I suppose so.

[molotov]

[Who's to say she isn't! Molotov just has a tiny little fuse, it's a lifelong problem that she's only ever had to deal with in Paradisa. Shut up, little baby.]

So... we are okay?

[eaglet]

[Connor looks at her for a long moment, then inclines his head.]

I am not angry, but you must not be so flippant about the beliefs of others.

[molotov]

And you must stop blowing up over every little thing.

[eaglet]

[Frowns...]

I do not.

[molotov]

You do. You get angry so easily.

[eaglet]

That is because there is so much to be angry about.