THIRTEENTH SHOT

[dog_eat_dog]

[Dictated]

Some of you have really absurd names, you know that?

It's weird enough that some of you just have ridiculous hippy names like "Howl" or "Cloud" or "Vicious" or "Firethroat" or whatever but then there's all these pretentious names that are really titles. Not just a doctor, The Doctor, and there's a Fifth and a Tenth but who knows what happened to the others.

And then there's not just some guy named Lorax, but he's The Lorax. What the fuck is a Lorax in the first place? Fuck if I know, but maybe I should be honored to live up the hall from not only a Lorax but The Lorax. He sounds like a cleaning product mascot, like Mr. Clean.

I almost wish the castle had kept my nameplate Dog Eat Dog just so I could have a ridiculous name plate. I mean, mine doesn't even include a last name normally. Or maybe changed it to something smoother: Queen of Boston. The Queen of Boston.

Comments

Oh boy. Loss time. Expect meanness. I apologise right now.

[toobravehearted]

I completely agree. A pretentious, self-serving title. What does he think he's doing? Come to make us all better? I think he could do with a change of mind, your Majesty.

hahaha that's alright :)

[dog_eat_dog]

I could agree on principle alone, but I can't say I know the guy personally. I guess it would depend on what kind of doctor he is, or why he's only the fifth or the tenth and not in first place.

Dictated forever

[indirectcause]

I met the Doctor. I didn't know there was more than one. Maybe it's some sort of weird...doctor ranking. Like ninjas.

[Ben that makes no sense, stop.]

...Who the fuck names their kid 'Vicious'?

Dictated

[dog_eat_dog]

Sociopaths, probably. Siblings are Savage and Ruthless. ["Ruth" for short.]

Didn't you ask him why he was named that?

[forsometimenow]

Nice to see you're still your usual chipper self.

[indirectcause]

It'd be funny if they turned out to be normal people. I mean, I doubt that's the case, because shit like that never works out, but still...

No? I figured it was rude to just ask him that. [You can't just ASK a guy why he's called the Doctor, Tess.]

[dog_eat_dog]

What's not to be chipper about?

[dog_eat_dog]

It would be, but I bet they'd have to live up to it some way. I think most people would snap after it'd been joked about a certain number of times.

[An amused noise.]

I'd do it.

[forsometimenow]

You're always sunshine and rainbows.

On the subject of names, the only thing I dislike about mine is that there was always at least one other Jennifer. From Kindergarten all the way through med school, I was never the only one.

[indirectcause]

And the sort of people we get here? It'd probably be a pretty big thing when they snapped.

[That at least gets a little laugh out of him.]

I'm not surprised.

[dog_eat_dog]

Yeah, I always had a few Jennifers in my classes. Not many Tesses, though. I think I knew one other... at least there are famous Jennifers, though.

[forsometimenow]

This is true. Me, I kinda like living in relative obscurity.

[dog_eat_dog]

Sounds just like you, meek and all.

Actually, the only downside to "Tess" is people asking if it's short for "Tessa." Or calling it a stripper name, which it isn't.

dictateeeeed

[sworn]

[She's not gonna argue about some of these names being absolutely ridiculous, but it does beg the question.]

What constitutes a "normal" name in your opinion?

[toobravehearted]

I don't think that matters, but should you come across him - either of them, they are best to be avoided for-- Well, I'm sure I don't need to concern you with that. But what about you? What's in a name for you?

[Dictated]

[strangewonders]

There is nothing 'hippy' about my name.

[Ridiculous, yes, but that's really his own fault for changing the spelling. Which doesn't mean Howl's not going to be indignant about it.]

Dictated and oh how I have missed this

[not_nikkiheat]

Well, we can't all be D'Urbervilles.

[forsometimenow]

I prefer "shy", myself.

Calling any name a stripper name is really obnoxious.

[gottaknockhard]

[Spike takes special enjoyment from anyone making fun of Vicious' name who doesn't know any better. So few people had the balls to do it back home, aside from Spike.]

'Dog Eat Dog', huh? [Now he's interested. He should have tried harder to match those nicknames before.]

[dog_eat_dog]

Thanks, totally love getting that reference, like I'm also some misunderstood rape victim with a shitty life who gets executed.

[dog_eat_dog]

Pronounceable.

[dog_eat_dog]

Yeah? Who are you?

[dog_eat_dog]

It's my favourite philosophy.

[sworn]

As odd as they are, you didn't have trouble pronouncing those names you mentioned.

[dog_eat_dog]

Pronounceable and not a title or random vocabulary word.